[ippm] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02

Russ Housley via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Wed, 29 June 2022 14:03 UTC

Return-Path: <noreply@ietf.org>
X-Original-To: ippm@ietf.org
Delivered-To: ippm@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from ietfa.amsl.com (localhost [IPv6:::1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 44507C15C7DD; Wed, 29 Jun 2022 07:03:50 -0700 (PDT)
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
From: Russ Housley via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis.all@ietf.org, ippm@ietf.org, last-call@ietf.org
X-Test-IDTracker: no
X-IETF-IDTracker: 8.5.1
Auto-Submitted: auto-generated
Precedence: bulk
Message-ID: <165651143026.26585.5485702741745802901@ietfa.amsl.com>
Reply-To: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
Date: Wed, 29 Jun 2022 07:03:50 -0700
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ippm/wSyM0RPeIm5hknYtSi0Etxa1nZ4>
Subject: [ippm] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
X-BeenThere: ippm@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.39
List-Id: IETF IP Performance Metrics Working Group <ippm.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/ippm>, <mailto:ippm-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/ippm/>
List-Post: <mailto:ippm@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:ippm-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ippm>, <mailto:ippm-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 29 Jun 2022 14:03:50 -0000

Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

Document: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2022-06-29
IETF LC End Date: 2022-06-21
IESG Telechat date: 2022-07-14

Summary: Ready with Nits

Major Concerns: None

Minor Concerns:

Section 8 says: "... can be incorporated into A, ..."
I think that "A" is described in Figure 5, but it took me
a few minutes to figure that out.  Please clarify.

Section 9 says:

   Either one or two flag bits might be available for marking in
   different deployments:
This is followed by three labeled paragraphs.  Can this sentence
be expanded to cover all three of the paragraphs that follow?


Section 5.1: s/split our monitoring/split the monitoring/

Section 5.1: s/In our monitoring network/In the monitoring network/

Section 5.1 says:

   The algorithm described above network is an iterative clustering
   algorithm, but it is also possible to apply a recursive clustering
   algorithm by using the node-node adjacency matrix representation

I cannot understand is sentence.