[L2sm] Spencer Dawkins' No Objection on charter-ietf-l2sm-00-05: (with COMMENT)

"Spencer Dawkins" <spencerdawkins.ietf@gmail.com> Wed, 02 November 2016 02:37 UTC

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From: Spencer Dawkins <spencerdawkins.ietf@gmail.com>
To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
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Date: Tue, 01 Nov 2016 19:37:03 -0700
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Subject: [L2sm] Spencer Dawkins' No Objection on charter-ietf-l2sm-00-05: (with COMMENT)

Spencer Dawkins has entered the following ballot position for
charter-ietf-l2sm-00-05: No Objection

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The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/charter-ietf-l2sm/



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COMMENT:
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I have a few editorial suggestions.

I think "full system configuration that enable service agility" should be
s/enable/enables/.

I think "recognized it would be beneficial" would be better as
"recognized that it would be beneficial".

I think you can drop "attempt to" from "The working group will attempt to
derive a single data model". That should be possible, especially if the
working group has L3SM for guidance.

I think "(that work is expected to be carried out in other
protocol-specific working groups)" would be easier to read as a separate
sentence, not as a parenthetical insertion.

[L2sm] Spencer Dawkins' No Objection on charter-i… Spencer Dawkins
Re: [L2sm] Spencer Dawkins' No Objection on chart… Benoit Claise