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Re: [Last-Call] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation-18

Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org> Thu, 20 October 2022 12:10 UTC

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From: Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org>
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Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2022 15:09:47 +0300
Cc: gen-art@ietf.org, draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation.all@ietf.org, homenet@ietf.org, last-call@ietf.org
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To: Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com>
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Subject: Re: [Last-Call] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation-18
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Christer, thank you for your review. I have entered an Abstain ballot for this document based on my own review.

Lars


> On 2022-10-4, at 13:19, Christer Holmberg via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation-18
> Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
> Review Date: 2022-10-04
> IETF LC End Date: 2022-10-04
> IESG Telechat date: 2022-10-20
> 
> Summary:
> 
> Since the topic is outside the area of my expertise, I have no technical
> comments. I do think the document is a little difficult to read. Below I have a
> couple of editorial comments, and I think addressing those could improve the
> readability of the document.
> 
> Major issues: N/A
> 
> Minor issues: N/A
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> Q1:
> 
> In my opinion the Introduction section is too long, and goes into too many
> details. There are also things which I don't think belong to the Introduction.
> 
> For example, I don't think the text in Section 1.1 belongs to the Introduction,
> and is not needed in order to get an overview of the mechanism. I think it
> belongs to a separate section (perhaps an Appendix). The same applies to
> Section 1.3.
> 
> Similarly, Section 1.2 seems to talk about alternative solutions, before the
> solution in the draft has been clearly explained. I think it should be a
> separate section, later in the document.
> 
> Q2:
> 
> It is quite difficult to get a picture of how the mechanism work. There are no
> examples, or step-by-step functionality/use-case descriptions. Also, Section
> 3.1 seems to be a mixture of architecture and functionality, which is a little
> confusing.
> 
> 
> 
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