Re: [Last-Call] Opsdir telechat review of draft-ietf-detnet-ip-oam-12

[Greg Mirsky <[e-mail]>]

Hi Yingzhen,
thank you for your kind words in support of this work; much appreciated.
Please find my notes below tagged GIM>>.

Regards,
Greg

On Tue, Feb 13, 2024 at 8:09 PM Yingzhen Qu via Datatracker <
[e-mail]> wrote:

> Reviewer: Yingzhen Qu
> Review result: Ready
>
> I've reviewed version 10, and this is a follow up review.
>
> Thanks to the authors for working on this document and addressing my
> comments.
>
> The document readability has improved a lot from my last review of version
> -10,
> and I believe it is ready for publication.
>
> There are a couple of nits for the authors to consider.
>
> The line numbers are generated using idnits.
>
> 160        is being done by using the Internet Control Message Protocol
> (ICMP)
>
> nits: there should be a "." in the end.
>
GIM>> It seems like the long sentence may confuse a reader:
   Most of on-demand failure detection and localization in IP networks
   is being done by using the Internet Control Message Protocol (ICMP)
   Echo Request, Echo Reply and the set of defined error messages, e.g.,
   Destination Unreachable, with the more detailed information provided
   through code points.
The intention is to note that Echo Request/Reply that are the mechanism
used in ICMP are the common method for on-demand failure detection and
localization, i.e., of ping and traceroute. Would a slight re-wording make
it clearer:
NEW TEXT:
   Most of on-demand failure detection and localization in IP networks
   is being done by using the Internet Control Message Protocol's (ICMP)
   Echo Request, Echo Reply, and the set of defined error messages, e.g.,
   Destination Unreachable, with the more detailed information provided
   through code points.
WDYT?

>
> 166        traffic between DetNet nodes with IP DetNet traffic, e.g.,
> ensure
> 167        that such ICMP traffic uses the DetNet IP data plane in each
> node,
>
> nits: somehow this sentence doesn't read well to me. "uses the DetNet IP
> data plane" is not very clear to me, I think you're trying to say ICMP
> traffic
> should go through the same path/interface as DetNet traffic, for example,
> there is ECMP between two DetNet nodes.
>
GIM>> Thank you for pointing this to me. You are correct, the intention is
to stress the importance of ensuring that ICMP packets traverse the same
set of nodes and interfaces and receieve the same QoS treatment as the
monitored DetNet IP flow. I propose the following update:
OLD TEXT:
   In order to use ICMP for these
   purposes with DetNet, DetNet nodes must be able to associate ICMP
   traffic between DetNet nodes with IP DetNet traffic, e.g., ensure
   that such ICMP traffic uses the DetNet IP data plane in each node,
   otherwise ICMP may be unable to detect and localize failures that are
   specific to the DetNet IP data plane.
 NEW TEXT:
   In order to use ICMP
   for these purposes with DetNet, DetNet nodes must be able to
   associate ICMP traffic between DetNet nodes with IP DetNet traffic,
   i.e., ensure that such ICMP traffic traverses the same interfaces and
   receives the same QoS treatment as the monitored DetNet IP flow;
   otherwise, ICMP may be unable to detect and localize failures that
   are specific to the DetNet IP data plane.
What are your thoughts? Is the text more clear now?