Re: [Last-Call] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12

["Wubo (lana)" <[e-mail]>]

Hi Elwyn,



Thanks for your review. Please find the replies inline.



Thanks,

Bo



-----Original Message-----
From: Elwyn Davies via Datatracker [mailto:[e-mail]]
Sent: Monday, October 10, 2022 7:54 PM
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Subject: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12



Reviewer: Elwyn Davies

Review result: Ready with Nits



I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.



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Document: draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12

Reviewer: Elwyn Davies

Review Date: 2022-10-10

IETF LC End Date: 2022-10-04

IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat



Summary:  Ready with a few minor nits.  Apologies for the rather late delivery.



Major issues:



Minor issues:



s4.4:  The following text appears in the section on 'Percentile Parameters':



      Setting a percentile to

      0.00 indicates the client is not interested in receiving

      particular percentile.



Given the discussion of configurable items in Section 6 it would be helpful to mention that these items and other items marked 'rw' and with names ending in '?' can be configured rather than just saying 'Setting'.

[Bo Wu] Thanks for the suggestion. How about the following changes?



Percentile parameters:  The module supports reporting delay and jitter metric by percentile values.

Three percentile values can be configured to define various percentile levels.

By default, low percentile (10th percentile), intermediate percentile (50th percentile),

high percentile (90th percentile) are used.

Configuring a percentile to 0.00 indicates the client is not interested in receiving particular percentile.







Nits/editorial comments:



General: The document contains a lot of VPN terminology and network types using

acronyms such as CE, PE etc.   Some of these are defined in Sections 2/2.1 but

a pointer to a document that defines the VPN technology (such as RFC 4026) would be helpful.



s1:  The abbreviations PE, CE and P are used here before their definitions in s2.  I guess they had better be expanded on first use.

[Bo Wu] OK. Fixed.



s2.1: The references for definitions of MPLS, OWAMP and TWAMP introduced in s3 would be usefully noted here.

[Bo Wu] OK. Fixed.



s3, para 3: s/involved devices/devices involved/

[Bo Wu] Fixed.



s3.1, para 1: s/Some applications/Some applications,/

[Bo Wu] Fixed.



s4.1, para before Fig 4, sentence 1: s/VPN Network PM YANG module/the VPN Network PM YANG module/

[Bo Wu] Fixed.



s5: There are 3 instances of 'into 0.0' in the percentile definitions of augment "/nw:networks/nw:network/nt:link" that should be 'to 0.0'.

[Bo Wu] Fixed.