Re: [mile] OPS-DIR Review of draft-ietf-mile-iodef-guidance-10

[Kathleen Moriarty <[e-mail]>]

Thank you for your review.  The editors will respond and update as
needed.  Copying mile to help with the response.

Best regards,
Kathleen

On Thu, Aug 17, 2017 at 11:15 PM, Qin Wu <[e-mail]> wrote:
> I have reviewed this document as part of the Operational directorate's
> ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.
> These comments were written with the intent of improving the operational
> aspects of the IETF drafts. Comments that are not addressed in last call may
> be included in AD reviews during the IESG review.  Document editors and WG
> chairs should treat these comments just like any other last call comments.
>
>
>
> Summary:
>
> This document provides usage guideline for The Incident Object Description
> Exchange Format v2.
>
> It is almost ready for publication. The readability needs to be improved a
> little bit.
>
> Major Issues:
>
> Section 3.1, 3rd paragraph:
>
> Confused, Which elements are required by IODEF v2 specification? Email or
> type and role attributes? Isn’t contact class part of IODEF v2
> specification?
>
> Section 5.2 2nd paragraph said:
>
> “
>
> Interoperability between RID agents and the standards, Use of
>
> [RFC6545] and [RFC6546], were also proven in this exercise.
>
> “
>
> Interoperability between RID agents or Interoperability between RID agents
> and standards?
>
> Use of[RFC6545] and [RFC6546] is proven? Please make clear in the text.
>
>
>
> Minor Issues:
>
> Section 3.1 2nd paragraph:
>
> Consistent with the figure in section 3.1
>
> s/ minimal Incident class needs/ minimal-style Incident class needs
>
> Section 3.2 4th paragraph:
>
> OLD TEXT:
>
> “
>
>    For use-cases where indicators need to be described, the
>
>    IndicatorData class its classes will be implemented instead of the
>
>    EventData class.
>
> “
>
> NEW TEXT:
>
> “
>
>    For use-cases where indicators need to be described, the
>
>    IndicatorData class will be implemented instead of the
>
>    EventData class.
>
> ”
>
> Section 3.2 last paragraph:
>
> s/ relavant/relevant
>
> Section 4.1
>
> OLD TEXT:
>
> “
>
> As
>
>    external enumerations can cary greatly, implementers SHOULD only
>
>    support external enumerations that are expected to describe their
>
>    specific use-cases.
>
>
>
> ”
>
> NEW TEXT:
>
> “
>
> As external enumerations can be carried greatly, implementers SHOULD only
>
>    support external enumerations that are expected to describe their
>
>    specific use-cases.
>
>
>
> ”
>
> Section 4.3
>
> OLD TEXT:
>
> “
>
> The Indicator class can include references to other
>
>    indicators, observables and more classes the contain details about
>
>    the indicator.
>
> ”
>
> NEW TEXT:
>
> “
>
> The Indicator class can include references to other
>
> indicators, observables and more classes the contain details about
>
> the indicator.
>
> ”
>
> Section 5.1
>
> OLD TEXT:
>
> “
>
> Section 7 also
>
>    includes practical IODEF use guidelines.
>
> ”
>
> NEW TEXT:
>
> “
>
> “
>
> Section 7 also
>
>    includes practical IODEF usage guidelines.
>
> ”
>
>
>
> ”
>
> Section 5.2 1st paragraph:
>
> s/ compteting /competing
>
> Nits:
>
> Please run nit-check to fix 3 errors and 3 warnings.
>
>
>
> -Qin



-- 

Best regards,
Kathleen