[netconf] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-netconf-sztp-csr-12: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Thu, 16 December 2021 13:49 UTC

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Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2021 05:49:56 -0800
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Subject: [netconf] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-netconf-sztp-csr-12: (with COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-netconf-sztp-csr-12: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Reference [I-D.ietf-netconf-crypto-types] from this Proposed Standard to
draft-ietf-netconf-crypto-types of unknown standards level. That should be
fixed in the datatracker for draft-ietf-netconf-crypto-types...

Document still refers to the "Simplified BSD License", which was corrected in
the TLP on September 21, 2021. It should instead refer to the "Revised BSD
License".

Thanks to Meral Shirazipour for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/4XKQuQMRJ3xEca_Le-NpYcF-RYI).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 4.1.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
-    private key and associated identity certificates and reexecution of
+    private key and associated identity certificates and re-execution of
+                                                           +

Section 2.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> ver that it supports the ability the generate CSRs. This parameter conveys if
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^
After "the", the verb "generate" doesn't fit. Is "generate" spelled correctly?
If "generate" is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between
the two words. Using the verb "generate" as a noun may be non-standard.

Section 2.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
>  the SZTP-client is able to generate an new asymmetric key and, if so, which
>                                      ^^
Use "a" instead of "an" if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound,
e.g. "a sentence", "a university".

Section 3.2. , paragraph 20, nit:
>  the TaggedCertificationRequest and it a bodyPartId and the certificateReque
>                                     ^^^^
A verb may be missing between "it" and "a", or a word may be misspelled.

Section 3.2. , paragraph 20, nit:
>  the TaggedCertificationRequest and it a bodyPartId and the certificateReque
>                                     ^^^^
A verb may be missing between "it" and "a", or a word may be misspelled.

Section 3.2. , paragraph 21, nit:
>  the TaggedCertificationRequest and it a bodyPartId and the certificateReque
>                                     ^^^^
A verb may be missing between "it" and "a", or a word may be misspelled.

Section 4.1.5. , paragraph 7, nit:
> in Wu. Contributors Special thanks goes to David von Oheimb and Hendrik Broc
>                                    ^^^^
It seems that the correct verb form here is "go".

Document references draft-ietf-netmod-factory-default, but that has been
published as RFC8808.

Document references draft-ietf-netconf-keystore-22, but -23 is the latest
available revision.

Document references draft-ietf-netconf-trust-anchors-15, but -16 is the latest
available revision.

These URLs point to tools.ietf.org, which is being deprecated:
 * http://tools.ietf.org/wg/netconf

These URLs in the document did not return content:
 * http://standards.ieee.org/findstds/standard/802.1AR-2018.html