Re: [OPSAWG] [apps-discuss] APPSDIR review ofdraft-ietf-opsawg-management-stds-05

["Ersue, Mehmet (NSN - DE/Munich)" <[e-mail]>]

Dear Lisa,

thank you for your kind comments.

> I did note that currently active work was not consistently covered.  

I think it has been already stated in the document that the document 
aims to give an overview of "existing" standards. Only in a few cases 
 (if it is near to publication) ongoing work has been mentioned.

> Organizational:
> 
> Section 3.9 describes ACAP.  Either ACAP belongs in the general
> purpose protocols (section 2) or another section entirely (perhaps
> together with XCAP in a section on application-layer configuration
> protocols).  In any case, ACAP has been largely superseded by other
> work, which would be useful for readers of this document to know.

We had in an earlier version a specific section for application layer 
protocols. The WG decided to resolve this with the aim to get the 
structure more flat.
 
> Section 3.10 describes XCAP.  It is similar to ACAP in the general
> scope of its ambition.
> 
> Section 3.2 doesn't seem to fit in Section 3.  I understand Section 3
> to be about application-focused network management protocols and
> mechanisms, whereas section 3.2 does not describe any specific
> protocols or mechanisms, but rather operational guidance.

As the title says Section 3 is not about application-focused management 
protocols. It is about a list of protocols and mechanisms with different
focus.
 
I will take care of the nits below as they are particularly important to
me.

Cheers,
Mehmet

> Nits (note that generally the document would be much clearer if it had
> a good grammatical editorial pass):
> 
> Grammatical error:
> "As far as valuable Best Current
>    Practice (BCP) documents are referenced."
> 
> Grammatical or cut-and-paste error:
>   - "a management protocol used to convey management information
>       between the SNMP entities, and management information."
> 
> Grammatical error:
> "As such following standards build up the basis of the current SNMP
>    Management Framework"
> 
> Grammatical error: "    Requirements to such a monitoring on the
application
>            level include measuring signaling quality"
> 
> Grammatical error: "            YANG allows to express constraints on
data
> models by means of type
>                       restrictions and XPATH 1.0 [XPATH] expressions."
> 
> 
> Confusing: "One example SDO using
>    DIAMETER extensively is 3GPP (e.g. 3GPP 'IP Multimedia Subsystem'
>    (IMS) uses DIAMETER based interfaces (e.g.  Cx) [3GPPIMS])."
>                 -- looks like the Cx is either an error or can be
> cut, Cx is not
> referred to anywhere else in the document
> 
> Grammatical or typo: "          The main goal of this protocol is to
configure
> and manage access
>                    equipments and allow them to report information"
>                 (plural 'equipments' is not used, fix also elsewhere
in doc)
> 
> Grammatical: "   The following subsections aim to guide the reader for
the fast
>            selection of the management standard in interest"
> 
> Grammatical: "          due to several factors including the rising
and
>                    fluctuating energy costs,", extra 'the'