Re: [OPSAWG] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-opsawg-ntf-10: (with COMMENT)

[Haoyu Song <[e-mail]>]

Hi Lars,

Thank you very much for the review! All the issues listed below have been addressed and will be reflected in the newer revision. 

Best regards,
Haoyu

-----Original Message-----
From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[e-mail]> 
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2021 7:10 AM
To: The IESG <[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-opsawg-ntf-10: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-opsawg-ntf-10: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfc-editor.org%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language&amp;data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&amp;sdata=zphocVEFagdg%2BamrqYhhaqKKcrUxCv7lYKxUy393T3E%3D&amp;reserved=0 for background and more
guidance:

 * Term "his"; alternatives might be "they", "them", "their".

 * Term "traditional"; alternatives might be "classic", "classical",
   "common", "conventional", "customary", "fixed", "habitual", "historic",
   "long-established", "popular", "prescribed", "regular", "rooted",
   "time-honored", "universal", "widely used", "widespread".

Thanks to Gyan S. Mishra for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review (https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmailarchive.ietf.org%2Farch%2Fmsg%2Fgen-art%2FItkS25VOVfDg8eLogFDMCtpeoFM&amp;data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&amp;sdata=ftmKsfeQdDLSDKZyvguNWHl%2BgaKMcJTkJK20HJwmjGc%3D&amp;reserved=0).

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All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by automated tools (via https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Flarseggert%2Fietf-reviewtool&amp;data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&amp;sdata=5yEFMuoKYs1PBKdhb8JyeCf8Ya7izYDwh%2BFfhzW5BlQ%3D&amp;reserved=0), so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you did with these suggestions.

Section 3.2. , paragraph 4, nit:
> ic manipulation. In some cases, micro-bursts need to be detected in a very sh
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

Section 3.2. , paragraph 6, nit:
> ant to be warned of issues in advance so proactive actions can be taken to av
>                                      ^^^
Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).

Section 4.1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> lso be implemented over TCP and SCTP but that is not recommended for forward
>                                     ^^^^
Use a comma before "but" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).

Section 10. , paragraph 19, nit:
> P/2 [RFC7540] based open-source micro-service communication framework. It pro
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

"A.3.1. ", paragraph 2, nit:
> pected movement makes it fascinating and many people connect to sites that a
>                                     ^^^^
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).

"A.3.1. ", paragraph 3, nit:
> ent can be affected by such situation so their management solutions should be
>                                      ^^^
Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).

Document references draft-ietf-ippm-multipoint-alt-mark, but that has been published as RFC8889.

Document references draft-song-ippm-postcard-based-telemetry-10, but -11 is the latest available revision.

Document references draft-ietf-grow-bmp-adj-rib-out, but that has been published as RFC8671.