Re: [OPSAWG] I-D Action: draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08.txt

[Joe Clarke <[e-mail]>]

Thank you, authors.  Would you send a synopsis of the changes to the
list as well as what you feel is left to do?  It would be good to spur
some more discussion on this.

I read through the text, focusing on the changes, and found a few typos
and nits.

Section 1:

OLD:

The normative description of Legacy features such as ARAP and
outbound authentication have

NEW:

The normative description of Legacy features such as ARAP and
outbound authentication has

===

Section 1:

s/authroization/authorization/

===

Section 3.3

You have one reference to "Single connection Mode".  Why is the 'c'
lowercase here?  For consistency, it should be uppercase.

===

Section 3.4

OLD:

For example, the client try alternative methods, if they are available,

NEW:

For example, the client tries alternative methods, if they are available,

===

Section 3.4

s/implmentation/implementation/

===

Section 3.5

OLD:

.  for example

NEW:

.  For example

===

Section 3.7

OLD:

refer to section section

NEW:

refer to section

===

Section 4.1

You refer to the Unix su(1) command in man page style notation.  This
may not be fully understood by all readers.  I think it would be better
to describe what su does in a short phrase (This is comparable to the
"su" command on Unix, which substitutes the current user's identity with
another).

===

Section 4.4.2.3

s/alays/always/

===

Sections 4.4.2.4 and 4.4.2.5

OLD:

The TACACS+ server must rejects

NEW:

The TACACS+ server must reject

===

Section 4.4.3

s/temrination/termination/

===

Section 4.4.3

You say, "oplease refer to section" (which has a typo).  But I don't
think you need the please at all here.

===

Section 5

s/clients actions/client's actions/

===

Section 5.1

s/corrsponds/corresponds/

===

Section 7.1

Stardate is canonically inconsistent

:-)

===

Section 7.2

Under nohangup, I think you have a typo with "authorization.y."  Not
sure if you intended something else there, or that "y." just crept in.

===

Section 8

s/()such as/(such as/

===

Section 8

s/starts starts/starts/

===

Section 8

s/reuthentication/reauthentication/

===

Section 8

You mention su again, but do so without man page notation.  you also
refer to unix instead of Unix.  Perhaps a good solution is to point to
one of the web=based man page gateways to create a true xref for su.

===

Section 9.1

s/For this reasons/For these reasons/

===

Section 9.2

s/which may me/which may be/

===

Section 9.5

s/apropriate/appropriate/

===

Section 9.5

s/send send secret keys/send secret keys/

Joe




On 2/19/18 10:40, [e-mail] wrote:
> 
> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts directories.
> This draft is a work item of the Operations and Management Area Working Group WG of the IETF.
> 
>         Title           : The TACACS+ Protocol
>         Authors         : Thorsten Dahm
>                           Andrej Ota
>                           Douglas C. Medway Gash
>                           David Carrel
>                           Lol Grant
> 	Filename        : draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08.txt
> 	Pages           : 43
> 	Date            : 2018-02-19
> 
> Abstract:
>    TACACS+ provides Device Administration for routers, network access
>    servers and other networked computing devices via one or more
>    centralized servers.  This document describes the protocol that is
>    used by TACACS+.
> 
> 
> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs/
> 
> There are also htmlized versions available at:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08
> 
> A diff from the previous version is available at:
> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08
> 
> 
> Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of submission
> until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.
> 
> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
> 
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