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Re: [Pce] Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09

Jonathan Hardwick <Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com> Fri, 24 June 2016 11:20 UTC

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From: Jonathan Hardwick <Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com>
To: Dhruv Dhody <dhruv.dhody@huawei.com>, "draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09
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Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2016 11:19:39 +0000
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Cc: "pce@ietf.org" <pce@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Pce] Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09
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Thanks Dhruv,

A couple more typos I noticed:
Section 3: "a consistent ways of" should be "... way of"
Section 4.1.1.1: "the encoding for path delay metric value" should be "... the path delay metric value"

See also [JEH2] inline below.

Cheers
Jon

From: Dhruv Dhody [mailto:dhruv.dhody@huawei.com]
Sent: 24 June 2016 11:25
To: Jonathan Hardwick <Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com>; draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org
Cc: pce@ietf.org
Subject: RE: Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09

Hi Jon,

Thank you fixing the grammatical issues with the document.
One change I would like to make is to the term "Fractional Percentage Link Loss" to just  "Fractional Link Loss".
[JEH2] OK. But in section 4.3 you actually changed it to "percentage link loss".  Also, in 4.1.3 and 4.3, I think the abbreviation should be FL(L) not FPL(L)?  I read the P in FPL as "Percentage".

<snip>

What do you think?
[JEH] I think fine.  Although rather than "network performance information" could we have "network performance metrics"?
[Dhruv2] I am worried that might be seen as excluding the bandwidth utilization related optimization criteria. I wanted to use a generic term and thus  "network performance information".
[JEH2] I'm only concerned that the existing sentence does not scan well.  How about "3. A PCC must be able to request that a PCE optimizes a path using any network performance criteria."

<snip>

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