Re: [Pce] Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09

Dhruv Dhody <dhruv.dhody@huawei.com> Fri, 24 June 2016 12:08 UTC

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From: Dhruv Dhody <dhruv.dhody@huawei.com>
To: Jonathan Hardwick <Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com>, "draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09
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Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2016 12:07:37 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Pce] Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09
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Hi Jon,

I have done the latest set of changes, should I upload this version?
See also inline...

Thanks!
Dhruv

From: Jonathan Hardwick [mailto:Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com]
Sent: 24 June 2016 16:50
To: Dhruv Dhody <dhruv.dhody@huawei.com>; draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org
Cc: pce@ietf.org
Subject: RE: Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09

Thanks Dhruv,

A couple more typos I noticed:
Section 3: "a consistent ways of" should be "... way of"
Section 4.1.1.1: "the encoding for path delay metric value" should be "... the path delay metric value"
[Dhruv3] : Fixed.

See also [JEH2] inline below.

Cheers
Jon

From: Dhruv Dhody [mailto:dhruv.dhody@huawei.com]
Sent: 24 June 2016 11:25
To: Jonathan Hardwick <Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com<mailto:Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com>>; draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org<mailto:draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware@ietf.org>
Cc: pce@ietf.org<mailto:pce@ietf.org>
Subject: RE: Shepherd's review of draft-ietf-pce-pcep-service-aware-09

Hi Jon,

Thank you fixing the grammatical issues with the document.
One change I would like to make is to the term "Fractional Percentage Link Loss" to just  "Fractional Link Loss".
[JEH2] OK. But in section 4.3 you actually changed it to "percentage link loss".  Also, in 4.1.3 and 4.3, I think the abbreviation should be FL(L) not FPL(L)?  I read the P in FPL as "Percentage".
[Dhruv3] : When I wrote it first PL was packet loss and FPL was fractional packet loss. I removed packet from packet loss, as was done in ISIS document.
I can see how this could be confusing and I have used your recommendation.

<snip>

What do you think?
[JEH] I think fine.  Although rather than "network performance information" could we have "network performance metrics"?
[Dhruv2] I am worried that might be seen as excluding the bandwidth utilization related optimization criteria. I wanted to use a generic term and thus  "network performance information".
[JEH2] I'm only concerned that the existing sentence does not scan well.  How about "3. A PCC must be able to request that a PCE optimizes a path using any network performance criteria."
[Dhruv3] : OK

<snip>