RE: Proposed Editorial Changes to the Framework

["Prayson Pate" <[e-mail]>]

Mike,

Thanks for the input.  I agree with your comments except for the minor notes
below.

Prayson

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Horn, Mike [mailto:[e-mail]]
> Sent: Wednesday, May 22, 2002 7:36 PM
> To: '[e-mail]'
> Cc: '[e-mail]'
> Subject: FW: [PWE3] Proposed Editorial Changes to the Framework
>
>
> Prayson,
>
> If you are making editorial changes to the framework draft, I
> have a few minor recommendations.
>
> 1) there is inconsistent use of the terms circuits and
> services throughout the draft, i would recommend
> consolidating to just the term services (which has already
> been done is some areas of the draft). some places that could
> be changed are listed below.
Prayson - I think that this is a good idea.


> Abstract - change "emulation of circuits (such as T1, E1, T3,
> E3, and SONET/SDH) and services (such as ATM and Frame Relay)
> over..." to "emulation of services (such as T1, E1, T3, E3,
> Frame Relay, ATM, Ethernet, and SONET/SDH) over..."
Prayson - agreed.


> 1. Introduction - change "emulation of circuits (such as T1,
> E1, T3, E3, and SONET/SDH) and services (such as ATM and
> Frame Relay) over..." to "emulation of services (such as T1,
> E1, T3, E3, Frame Relay, ATM, Ethernet, and SONET/SDH) over..."
Prayson - agreed.


> 2.2. PWE3... - change "Emulation allows existing circuits
> and/or services to be..." to "Emulation allows existing
> services to be..."
Prayson - agreed.


> 4.7. Traceroute - change "Tracing functionality is desirable
> for emulated circuits and services, because..." to "Tracing
> functionality is desirable for emulated services, because..."
Prayson - agreed.


> 2) 1.3. Non-Goals - "EEMD and/or ES." should be "EEMD and/or AS."
Prayson - agreed.


> 3) 3.6. Architecture Assumptions 2) - change "Interworking
> between different PW types and the support of inter-domain
> PWs are for further study." to "Interworking between
> different PW types and the support of inter-domain PWs
> requires further study."
Prayson - "for further study" is a stock phrase, and I would like to
preserve it.  How about:
"Support for interworking between different PW types is for further study,
as is support of inter-domain PWs."


> 4) 3.6. Architecture Assumptions 4) - change "The switched
> emulated circuit type (e.g. SVC/SVP) will be for further
> study." to "The switched emulated circuit type (e.g. SVC/SVP)
> requires further study."
Prayson - How about:
"Support for switched emulated circuit type (e.g. SVC/SVP) is for further
study"


> 5) 3.6. Architecture Assumptions 6) - change "Other
> encapsulation approaches are for further study." to "Other
> encapsulation approaches require further study."
Prayson - How about:
"Support for other encapsulation approaches is for further study."


> 6) 4.2. PW-PDU Sequencing - change "for example, IP is..." to
> "For example, IP is..."
Prayson - agreed.


> 7) 4.6. Statistics - change "These counters would be
> contained in a MIB, they should not replicate existing MIB
> counters." to "These counters would be contained in a PW
> specific MIB, they should not replicate existing MIB counters."
Prayson - agreed.


> I have some other questions/comments that are not really
> editorial, so I will address these in a different email.
>
> -mike
>
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Prayson Pate [mailto:[e-mail]]
> > > Sent: Friday, May 17, 2002 2:18 PM
> > > To: [e-mail]
> > > Subject: [PWE3] Proposed Editorial Changes to the Framework
> > >
> > >
> > > Hi,
> > >
> > > I propose making the following editorial changes to the framework
> > > (draft-ietf-pwe3-framework-00) and resubmit as -01.  I will
> > > also suggest
> > > some more structural changes in a separate email.  Comments welcome.
> > >
> > > 1) Change "Inbound" to "PSN Bound" and "Outbound" to "CE Bound"
> > >
> > > 2) Suggested by Craig White:
> > >    In section 3.5.2.1.2 "Cell Payload", Change "will need" to
> > > "may need"
> > >
> > > 2) Suggested by Craig White:
> > >    In section 3.6 "Architecture Assumptions", first item,
> > > delete the word
> > >    "for" from "is for out of scope".
> > >
> > > 4) Update versions for references:
> > > <             (draft-bonica-tunneltrace-01.txt), work in progress,
> > > <             February 2001.
> > > ---
> > > >             (draft-bonica-tunneltrace-02.txt), work in progress,
> > > >             November 2001.
> > >
> > >
> > > <             (draft-ietf-l2tpext-l2tp-base-01.txt) work in
> > progress,
> > > <             October 2001.
> > > ---
> > > >             (draft-ietf-l2tpext-l2tp-base-02.txt) work in
> > progress,
> > > >             March 2002.
> > >
> > >
> > > <             Using SMIv2", (draft-zelig-pw-mib-00.txt), work
> > > in progress,
> > > <             July 2001.
> > > ---
> > > >             Using SMIv2", (draft-zelig-pw-mib-02.txt), work
> > > in progress,
> > > >             February 2002.
> > >
> > >
> > > <             (draft-nadeau-pw-tc-mib-00.txt), work in
> > progress, July
> > > <             2001.
> > > ---
> > > >             (draft-nadeau-pw-tc-mib-02.txt), work in
> > > progress, February
> > > >             2002.
> > >
> > >
> > > <             (draft-danenberg-pw-cem-mib-00.txt), work in
> > > progress, July
> > > <             2001.
> > > ---
> > > >             (draft-danenberg-pw-cem-mib-01.txt), work in progress,
> > > >             November 2001.
> > >
> > >
> > > <             draft-ietf-mpls-lsr-mib-07.txt, work in
> > > progress, January
> > > <             2001.
> > > ---
> > > >             draft-ietf-mpls-lsr-mib-08.txt, work in
> > > progress, January
> > > >             2002.
> > >
> > >
> > > <             <draft-ietf-mpls-te-mib-05.txt>, work in
> > > progress, November
> > > <             2000.
> > > ---
> > > >             <draft-ietf-mpls-te-mib-05.txt>, work in
> > > progress, January
> > > >             2002.
> > >
> > >
> > > Prayson
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
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> > >
> >