Re: Working Group Last Call: QUIC protocol drafts -30/-17

[Gorry Fairhurst <[e-mail]>]

On 17/09/2020 08:51, Lars Eggert wrote:
> Hello,
>
> this email announces a Working Group Last Call (WGLC) for the following QUIC documents:
>
> * Version-Independent Properties of QUIC
>    https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-quic-invariants-30

<snip>

I have read Version-Independent Properties of QUIC (-30) in the WGLC and 
think this is ready, I found 3 editorial comments that might need 
consideration after the WGLC:

(i) I suggest the introduction for this spec starts abruptly. Is it 
worth considering one sentence top explain what QUIC is, in case someone 
read this document first? - One possible solution could be to move the 
text in section 3 to section 1? (To me, the section 3 text does not need 
to come after the Section 2 definitions.)

(ii) Does this read better with /for/ moved within the sentence?
OLD:/At the endpoint, the connection ID is used to identify which QUIC 
connection the packet is intended for./
NEW:/At the  endpoint, the connection ID is used to identify the QUIC 
connection for which  the packet is intended./

(iii) I see the desire to emphasise the “NOT”, but I query if this is 
correct usage of a RFC2119 keyword in Appendix A?:
/The following statements are NOT guaranteed to be true for every QUIC
    version:/

Best wishes,

Gorry