[rtcweb] draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-09 Review
Colton Shields <cshields@getjive.com> Mon, 16 June 2014 16:00 UTC
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Date: Mon, 16 Jun 2014 10:00:07 -0600
From: Colton Shields <cshields@getjive.com>
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Subject: [rtcweb] draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-09 Review
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-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA512 Here is my review of the Overview: Real Time Protocols for Browser-based Applications draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-09. Please take into consideration my suggestions. Thanks - -Colton Section 3 Paragraph 1 I am a native English speaker and I had to look up the definition of "envisage". Drafts should be written in the plainest language possible, to make it easier for everyone to understand. "The model of real-time support for browser-based applications does not envisage that the browser will contain all the functions that need to be performed in order to have a function such as a telephone or a video conferencing unit;" I suggest replacing "envisage" with one of the following - suppose - assume Section 3 Paragraph 5 "Existing protocols (for example SIP or XMPP) could be used between servers..." In case the reader is not familiar with SIP or XMPP, the draft should link to these protocols. Just like it does with other protocols. Especially since the next paragraphs provide an example of SIP and XMPP. If the reader does not understand how SIP or XMPP work they could get confused. Providing links gives them a resource to learn how those protocols work. SIP RFC 3261 http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc3261.txt XMPP RFC 3920 http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc3920.txt Spelling error in the Title Title should say "Browser-based" rather than "Brower-based" -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: GnuPG/MacGPG2 v2.0.22 (Darwin) Comment: GPGTools - https://gpgtools.org Comment: Using GnuPG with Thunderbird - http://www.enigmail.net/ iQEcBAEBCgAGBQJTnxSHAAoJEKWz5R7vDXT70KIIAMD4QhckVf/zFbyN43WJnd/6 AtaahLFVZl7UeNU5KRFnYiedDH2RbVm4L9TgEWAgPiRxzzmsAZDg6CgDe599Q9jS 4oRklaXGMlsF0IoQ7DmvTpUSeiql2dl64rLpTREL1vnXaQN3RbBpdPyuvu5MRUDw 8rS1+eXyf8zL3T71iwsidc2/903r/vNsWE274chIxUGIv/vgW9RX2u1GS1DFvttw FZRlVc6Xb3BYWrJshwX+uGw8Doiak/yx+IpMdJ5lBzIvRCi13Au4fpdWwsqYME0v VXoPrWddqGTEJbx+/KkKsWi2hhq7NwQC5usWUT+NQwhJhBQWNaZJDECmotB821o= =u0qm -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
- [rtcweb] draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-09 Review Colton Shields
- Re: [rtcweb] draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-09 Review Harald Alvestrand