[RTG-DIR] RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-mtgvenue-meeting-policy

<julien.meuric@orange.com> Tue, 24 April 2018 10:09 UTC

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From: julien.meuric@orange.com
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Date: Tue, 24 Apr 2018 12:09:08 +0200
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Subject: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-mtgvenue-meeting-policy
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
information about the Routing Directorate, please see
​http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/rtg/trac/wiki/RtgDir

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-mtgvenue-meeting-policy-04
Reviewer: Julien Meuric
Review Date: April 24, 2018
IETF LC End Date: April 19, 2018
Intended Status: BCP

*Summary:*
The I-D seems almost ready for publication. I have some minor concerns
about this document that I think should be resolved before publication.

*Comments:*
The choice of words sometimes feels to me a bit tough or too narrow.
However, I am not a native-speaker and I am not always used to set phrases.
Moreover, I suggest a few text tweaks, including probable nits that the
RFC Editor would certainly spot anyway.

*Major Issues:*
No major issues found.

*Minor Issues:*
To me, a couple of words may benefit from alternate terms:
- "location" sounds too specific for a continent, would not "region" or
"territory" fit better?
- "travel pain" (used twice) feel strong, "travel effort" would convey a
similar idea in a smoother way.

In section 2, I am not sure that "a meeting in North America in March, a
meeting in Europe in July, and a meeting in Asia on November" is so
obviously a "typical cycle". I would thus drop that unnecessary text to
start with "The 1-1-1 policy", and update the following phrase "such a
cycle" into "a fixed cycle".


*Nits:*
- s/High level guidance for the meeting policy/High Level Guidance for
the Meeting Policy/
- s/The 1-1-1-* meeting policy/The 1-1-1-* Meeting Policy/
- s/regions. i.e.,/regions, i.e./
- s/roughy/roughly/
- s/we plan/We plan/
- s/there were/There were/
- s/meetings. e.g./meetings. E.g./
- s/There have not been a large number/ There has not been a large
number/  [or "was not"? Defer to RFC Editor?]
- s/IETF54(/IETF54 (/
- s/Implementation of the policy/Implementation of the Policy/
- s/to assist/For assisting/
- s/to provide/For providing/
- s/Re-evaluation and changes to this policy/Re-evaluation and Changes
to this Policy/


Regards,

Julien


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