QA review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-device-model-02

Daniele Ceccarelli <daniele.ceccarelli@ericsson.com> Tue, 02 May 2017 22:24 UTC

Return-Path: <daniele.ceccarelli@ericsson.com>
X-Original-To: rtgwg@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: rtgwg@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 2D74412969E; Tue, 2 May 2017 15:24:17 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -4.22
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-4.22 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_MED=-2.3, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H3=-0.01, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_WL=-0.01, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=ericsson.onmicrosoft.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id NPNeor5HeZIe; Tue, 2 May 2017 15:24:15 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from sessmg23.ericsson.net (sessmg23.ericsson.net [193.180.251.45]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 1B625129421; Tue, 2 May 2017 15:21:55 -0700 (PDT)
X-AuditID: c1b4fb2d-eff839a00000196b-5a-590906817e74
Received: from ESESSHC020.ericsson.se (Unknown_Domain [153.88.183.78]) by sessmg23.ericsson.net (Symantec Mail Security) with SMTP id 11.86.06507.18609095; Wed, 3 May 2017 00:21:54 +0200 (CEST)
Received: from EUR01-HE1-obe.outbound.protection.outlook.com (153.88.183.145) by oa.msg.ericsson.com (153.88.183.78) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 14.3.339.0; Wed, 3 May 2017 00:21:53 +0200
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=ericsson.onmicrosoft.com; s=selector1-ericsson-com; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version; bh=/EktVj0dwbTxi9BBlVBxahZglsDyrfW+N4rR3l84F9A=; b=LVnf+jyesBTwKTHDsbH5qy1NoG7sLa8TiE5Ai6SoCaNwhQpslJkTa9bk2rWF808ZkA4UEVfS2Gm2VXdQ+MeWDfUVbeTJqY5ash6Y7VkRqXzdUdogFK8QKYzF5i5fegGnboeOiQ5zapU6DX87hr9ZOUlYZjZEEev0i4sSu5f5nas=
Received: from AM2PR07MB0994.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com (10.162.37.152) by AM2PR07MB0995.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com (10.162.37.16) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_128_CBC_SHA256_P256) id 15.1.1075.1; Tue, 2 May 2017 22:21:51 +0000
Received: from AM2PR07MB0994.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::9d48:60f4:c92:7443]) by AM2PR07MB0994.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::9d48:60f4:c92:7443%17]) with mapi id 15.01.1075.010; Tue, 2 May 2017 22:21:50 +0000
From: Daniele Ceccarelli <daniele.ceccarelli@ericsson.com>
To: "draft-ietf-rtgwg-device-model-02@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-rtgwg-device-model-02@ietf.org>, "rtgwg-chairs@ietf.org" <rtgwg-chairs@ietf.org>
CC: "<rtg-ads@ietf.org> (rtg-ads@ietf.org)" <rtg-ads@ietf.org>, "rtgwg@ietf.org" <rtgwg@ietf.org>, "Jonathan Hardwick (Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com)" <Jonathan.Hardwick@metaswitch.com>, "Yemin (Amy)" <amy.yemin@huawei.com>
Subject: QA review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-device-model-02
Thread-Topic: QA review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-device-model-02
Thread-Index: AdLDWi/ONOprp8BmQpG9Qvq24gy0eQ==
Date: Tue, 02 May 2017 22:21:48 +0000
Message-ID: <AM2PR07MB09944F0B3AA9F4B0A3BFC65CF0170@AM2PR07MB0994.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com>
Accept-Language: it-IT, en-US
Content-Language: en-US
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
authentication-results: ietf.org; dkim=none (message not signed) header.d=none;ietf.org; dmarc=none action=none header.from=ericsson.com;
x-originating-ip: [108.58.107.174]
x-ms-publictraffictype: Email
x-microsoft-exchange-diagnostics: 1; AM2PR07MB0995; 7:bo3k3BgrXXZQERv7fJBQNSr6ovoeijTvgr9QnpCyDki1alPj5S4EdW9yNg5yY42VQ4McfLzy/+x6c/unhOE+EUmlUqfWely7pQv3WAAMlJWpdfX5OqxWNUvsINkcsoigUrfJKGQ65yK5ToMhW7bDshjZ4xsteUhP1bTaDyBUKj4GW8I84KOMVYUmN6EbO1BwDapLVq60QK/Uq8GnQvRqfEBSnnvCi+cLpqf2nzU7u1CVh+hFoOxlX38RP9jzgIHaMmgtWYbd3xSSE65ea+Gw0gWa0nOD1vG3v5get+LSr4odTY2vVDLKGVuFAqz11NdosP5Jw5WMs5BOZEksTJ6mtA==
x-forefront-antispam-report: SFV:SKI; SCL:-1SFV:NSPM; SFS:(10009020)(6009001)(39850400002)(39840400002)(39860400002)(39400400002)(39410400002)(2900100001)(478600001)(6116002)(790700001)(7736002)(99286003)(6436002)(38730400002)(6506006)(102836003)(81166006)(3660700001)(50986999)(54356999)(8936002)(33656002)(189998001)(74316002)(7696004)(3846002)(8676002)(2501003)(230783001)(5660300001)(53936002)(6306002)(54896002)(86362001)(2906002)(4326008)(9686003)(5250100002)(66066001)(3280700002)(25786009); DIR:OUT; SFP:1101; SCL:1; SRVR:AM2PR07MB0995; H:AM2PR07MB0994.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com; FPR:; SPF:None; MLV:sfv; LANG:en;
x-ms-office365-filtering-correlation-id: 5d300326-0650-48f7-b944-08d491a9a112
x-microsoft-antispam: UriScan:; BCL:0; PCL:0; RULEID:(22001)(2017030254075)(201703131423075)(201703031133081); SRVR:AM2PR07MB0995;
x-microsoft-antispam-prvs: <AM2PR07MB0995355910276E01D62B7D2AF0170@AM2PR07MB0995.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com>
x-exchange-antispam-report-test: UriScan:(21748063052155);
x-exchange-antispam-report-cfa-test: BCL:0; PCL:0; RULEID:(6040450)(601004)(2401047)(5005006)(8121501046)(10201501046)(93006095)(93001095)(3002001)(6041248)(20161123558100)(20161123560025)(20161123555025)(20161123564025)(201703131423075)(201702281528075)(201703061421075)(201703061406153)(20161123562025)(6072148); SRVR:AM2PR07MB0995; BCL:0; PCL:0; RULEID:; SRVR:AM2PR07MB0995;
x-forefront-prvs: 02951C14DC
spamdiagnosticoutput: 1:99
spamdiagnosticmetadata: NSPM
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_AM2PR07MB09944F0B3AA9F4B0A3BFC65CF0170AM2PR07MB0994eurp_"
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-originalarrivaltime: 02 May 2017 22:21:48.9566 (UTC)
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-fromentityheader: Hosted
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-id: 92e84ceb-fbfd-47ab-be52-080c6b87953f
X-MS-Exchange-Transport-CrossTenantHeadersStamped: AM2PR07MB0995
X-OriginatorOrg: ericsson.com
X-Brightmail-Tracker: H4sIAAAAAAAAA02Sa0hTYRjHeXfOmWfLwdu8PZoSTEHIaxdkmoV9CCQzCgpm95EHFXWunSVZ EFp+UKc5aRWa6czlwgtLy4rU0jETS/KSaRdHlsu8IwahKZbHM8Fv/+f//z3P+z4vL01I2ykf OkWlZTQqZZpMKCZLFc+PhFwXihLC+80S+ZO8x0K5JSdCXlgUJO8uXyTkrxuqCXnfzDIRI4zN tc1SsSbTkiC28/N94ihxUhydyKSlZDKasP3nxcnfOw1C9Xvl5ZVnTDaqOF6ARDTgPdB4Y8Cl AIlpKbYhMOpKERdIcRcCu/EsF5C4iIAPwxYBTxkE8GeqkeSLUQSGOcdaQtNCHAUO62Gu2x3r EZjf+nMMgScQzPSPu3CBG46AN5Zeiof2gtWWR/A6FOqKyiluDokD4HePjLMl+DRM5XesIwj7 gb7lwfrtCOwFXxyVAn4FDKbWXoLXHjA5tkpx5yKsQzBfMeSEZDAyMk3y2g8GKnWIgwAXEnBP 1+wsfpDQVTEj5Kl40BtqnGOvwcv5by68ToUO47TTj4K8ki6Kb14QwN+SKifkC736RYpf2Qfs g/mI174wMdJG8TtkwMeSSkqPAss2rVS2KSpbf4Kt0F3qIHk/GIwtC0JeB0FN1TSxoXvaxwSb fSNyqUUeLMOy6Um7docympQLLJuhClUx2ia09q86ni6HvEB10wesCNNI5ioZ1dMJUkqZyWal WxHQhMxdMoVECVJJojLrCqPJOKe5lMawVrSNJmVekphXfQopTlJqmVSGUTOajVRAi3yy0U1l 8Net/QfrWmMHQ3y16tnAUq8CPKkYzR7fdzXMpm461Jf2sN512Piv2jvyUXRx7aC7zfuWKcKz fqXS3jllDhs9NVeRuxqwsHzGTdWw1GxXxXlKAmzmY76K4vC7nQuG7Znvbv/M9/9EWCJ1TMNQ 3Kxg6eKvthx7fOCd6hNb2o0ykk1W7txBaFjlf3QI8OBTAwAA
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/rtgwg/zjhTrhmHju_sY51bpyMZhDqI_W8>
X-BeenThere: rtgwg@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.22
Precedence: list
List-Id: Routing Area Working Group <rtgwg.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/rtgwg>, <mailto:rtgwg-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/rtgwg/>
List-Post: <mailto:rtgwg@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:rtgwg-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/rtgwg>, <mailto:rtgwg-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 02 May 2017 22:24:17 -0000

Hello,

i've been selected as the QA reviewer for draft-ietf-rtgwg-device-model-02.

I believe the draft is well written and quite easy to understand, I just have some minor suggestion that might be help improving the readability (mostly for non subject experts).


-          Title: the title is not very clear, while the abstract explains very well in the first sentence what the goal of the draft is, what about changing it into: "A logical organization for network device YANG models" ?

-          Introduction: You are referencing an individual draft. This could be a block for the draft, but most of all does it make sense to have two separate drafts (in two different WGs), one to say the value of organizing YANG models  and the other one defining a logical organization for the models? (maybe too late for such change)

-          Introduction: this sentence is a bit confusing:

"  This document refers to two new modules that are expected to be  implemented.  These models are defined to support the configuration  and operation of network-devices that allow for the partitioning of  resources from both, or either, management and networking   perspectives.  Two forms of resource partitioning are referenced:"
                Maybe a modules/models mismatch? You start saying that the doc refers to two MODULES, then you say that MODELS are defined and the list two FORMS OF RESOURCE PARTITIONING.

-          Intro: "    Should structural-mount/YSDL not be available, the more explicit tree structure presented in earlier versions of this document will need to  be utilized." If it was described in previous versions of the document it is no longer available, or ?

-          Scope: as I got it while reading and as it is confirmed in the draft, the scope is "limited"  to physical and virtual switches and routers and not devices operating at the lower layers. Since you say "we consider network devices that support protocols  and functions defined within the IETF Routing Area" I would expect it to cover also lower layer devices.

-          Section 2: Section 2 and its subsection are very clear and explain well the concepts but it is not clear where the list comes from. It partially overlaps with the "overall structure" example above but at least having all of them in the overall structure plus some others (provided as example and not analyzed in the details with dedicated subsection ) would help.

BR
Daniele