[lamps] AD Review: draft-ietf-lamps-cms-mix-with-psk-05

Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org> Tue, 16 July 2019 20:07 UTC

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From: Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org>
To: "spasm@ietf.org" <spasm@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: AD Review: draft-ietf-lamps-cms-mix-with-psk-05
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Date: Tue, 16 Jul 2019 20:07:51 +0000
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Subject: [lamps] AD Review: draft-ietf-lamps-cms-mix-with-psk-05
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The following is my AD review of draft-ietf-lamps-cms-mix-with-psk-05.  Given the substance of these comments, it can be handled with IETF LC comments.

(1) Section 9.  The object identifier is called "id-mod-cms-ori-psk-2017" in the IANA section (Section 9) but "id-mod-cms-ori-psk-2019" in the ASN.1 Module (Section 6).  Seems like they should be the same.

(2) Section B.1.  This section does not list the plaintext content

(3) Improved references:

** Section 1.  Is there a citation that can be provided for the obvious "The invention of a large-scale quantum computer would pose a serious challenge for the cryptographic algorithms that are widely deployed  today"?

** Section 1.  Is there a citation that can be provided for "It is an open question whether or not it is feasible to build  a large-scale quantum computer ...".  Perhaps:
[NAS2019] National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, "Quantum Computing: Progress and Prospects", The National Academies Press, DOI 10.17226/25196, 2019.

** Section 1.  Is there a citation that can be provided for "there are longstanding concerns about undisclosed trapdoors in Diffie-Hellman paramters"?

(4) Editorial Nits
** Section 1. Recommend weakening the statement.  s/invulnerable to an attacker/resistant to an attacker/

** Section 1.  Typo.  s/Diffie-Hellamn/Diffie-Hellman/

** Section 3 and 4.  Since Section 2 calls out that there two techniques, keyTransPSK and keyAgreePSK, should the section 3 and 4 titles be those names instead of the underlying CMS data structure names?

** Section 5.  Typo.  s/ fo / of /

** Section 5.  Typo?.  s/deines/identifies/

** Section 7.  Typo.  s/materail/material/

** Section 7.  Typo. /an purpose/a purpose/

** Section 7.  Typo.  Consistently choose either "implementers" or "implementors"

** Section 7.  I think it would be helpful to move the text on the ProVerif proof from the Acknowledgements up to the Security Considerations section

** Appendix A/B.  Multiple Typos.  s/omited/omitted/g

** Appendix A.1.  Multiple Places.  Typo.  s/resutling/resulting/g

** Appendix A.*. Mutiple Places.  Typo.  s/resutling/resulting/g