Re: [Teas] Thoughts on draft-ceccarelli-actn-framework-07.txt

Hi Adrian,

Thanks for providing your great comments. Please see inline for my response. 

Regards,
Young

-----Original Message-----
From: Teas [mailto:teas-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Adrian Farrel
Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2015 9:53 AM
To: teas@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ceccarelli-actn-framework@tools.ietf.org
Subject: [Teas] Thoughts on draft-ceccarelli-actn-framework-07.txt

Hi,

I had cause to look at this draft again this week and a few comments popped up.

Here they are for the authors to think about.

Cheers,
Adrian

The I-D would best be renamed draft-ceccarelli-teas-actn-framework so that
people can more easily associate it with TEAS (just like you did with
draft-lee-teas-actn-requirements).

YOUNG>> Good idea. The revision will be published with the suggested title of the draft. 

---

I really like short Abstracts, but I think this one may be too short.
Need to add an initial paragraph on what is going on. I suggest...

   Transport networks have a variety of mechanisms to facilitate the
   separation of the data plane and control plane.  They also have a
   range of management and provisioning protocols to configure and 
   activate network resources.  These mechanisms represent key
   technologies for enabling flexible and dynamic networking.

   Abstraction of network resources is a technique that can be applied
   to a single network domain or across multiple domains to create a 
   single virtualized network that is under the control of a network
   operator that may be the customer of the operator that actually owns
   the network resources.

   This draft provides a framework for Abstraction and Control of
   Transport Networks (ACTN).

YOUNG>> Accepted. Thanks. 
---

Please run through the document and ensure consistent capitalisation of
all of the three controllers.

YOUNG>> OK, Will do. 
---

Section 1 page 3 para 2

OLD
   Centralized control in SDN
   helps improve network resources utilization from a distributed
   network control. 
NEW
   Centralized control in SDN helps improve network resources
   utilization compared with distributed network control. 
END

YOUNG>> OK. 
---

Section 1. Top of page 4

   Such a view may be specific to the set of consumed services as well
   as to a particular customer. 

"consumed services"? I think...

NEW
   Such a view may be specific to a specific service, the set of
   consumed resources or to a particular customer. 
END

YOUNG>> OK.
---

Page 4 bullet 1

Need to expand "ONF" on first use.

YOUNG>> OK. 
---

Page 5 top para (last para of section 1).

   The organization of this draft is as follows. Section 2 provides a
   discussion for a Business Model, Section 3 ACTN Architecture,
   Section 4 ACTN Applicability, and Section 5 ACTN Interface
   requirements.

This is out of date and since there is a perfectly good table of
contents, I suggest deleting this para.

YOUNG>> Yes, we can delete that. 
---

Section 5 is broken. You need to separate Daniele and Young as Authors
(section 5) and the rest as Contributors (section 6). 

YOUNG>> OK. Will correct. 

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