Re: [Teas] WG Last Call: draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-05

[Adrian Farrel <[e-mail]>]

Hi Pavan,

I’m a co-author: no surprise, I think this should be published.

Nevertheless, I re-read the document and have nits (below), and one larger point...

As draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices went through IESG review, they expressed considerable disquiet about the term "IETF Network Slice" and the various derivative terms. While that draft has somewhat escaped unchanged, there was an agreement that subsequent documents, and the following text was included...
   It is intended that the terms "IETF Network Slice" and "IETF Network
   Slice Service" are used only this document.  Other documents that
   need to indicate the type of network slice or network slice service
   described in this document can use the terms "RFC XXXX Network Slice"
   and "RFC XXXX Network Slice Service".
I think we have to adhere to that. On the whole, we can just use the terms "network slice," "network slice service," "network slice controller," etc. We might include a simple statement at the top of the document that where we say "network slice, etc." we are referring to network slicing of networks built using IETF technologies as described in RFC XXXX."

Cheers,
Adrian

===

1.
s/comprised of single or multiple layers/ comprised of a single or multiple layers/

---

1.
s/several key aspects that differentiate/several key aspects differentiate/

---

1.
s/or set of Service/or a set of Service/

---

2.3
   Section 7.1 of
   [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices]

Currently, this should reference section 8. But that may change in the published RFC.

---

draft- ietf-teas-rfc3272bis is now RFC 9522

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3.1
OLD
      through dynamic request and
      negotiation between customers and service providers.
NEW
      through a dynamic request and
      negotiation between a customer and service provider.
END

---

3.1
OLD
      Also, the VN engineering can be
      adjusted by the operator to continuously ensure that the delivered
      service complies with the requested one.
NEW
      Also, the way that the VN is engineered can be
      adjusted by the operator to continuously ensure that the delivered
      service complies with the requested SLA.
END

---

3.1
s/across the network slice/across the network slice./

---

draft-dong-teas-enhanced-vpn-vtn-scalability has been adopted and is now draft-ietf-teas-nrp-scalability

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3.3

The abbreviation XMI is not expanded anywhere. It should be.
However, I can't tell whether this is now called XMI or xMI.
The solution is to update the Note in Figure 1 as:
OLD
   Note 2 - This is an interface between two MDSC functional elements
   encompassing different MDSC service-related functions which is not
   defined in [RFC8453].
NEW
   Note 2 - The MDSC-to-MDSC Interface (XMI) is an interface between
   two MDSC functional elements encompassing different MDSC service-
   related functions which is not defined in [RFC8453].
END

----

3.4.1
s/service set up/service setup/

---

3.4.3
OLD
   for a different customer under the care of a
   different CNC
NEW
   for different customers under the care of 
   different CNCs
END

---

4.1
I wonder whether the caption for Figure 5 is wrong.
Perhaps...
Figure 5: Relationships Between YANG Models

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4.2
   Figure 6 shows the three ACTN components and two ACTN interfaces, as
   listed in Section 3.  The figure also shows the Device Configuration
   Interface between the PNC and the devices in the physical network.
No it doesn't!
1. It only shows two of the three ACTN components
2. It only shows one of the two ACTN interfaces
3. It calls the Device Configuration Interface the "SBI". We should be consistent (and I hate "SBI")

---

4.3
I think that draft-ietf-teas-actn-pm-telemetry-autonomics has dropped "KPI"

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From: Teas <[e-mail]> On Behalf Of Vishnu Pavan Beeram
Sent: 17 February 2024 17:37
To: TEAS WG <[e-mail]>
Cc: TEAS WG Chairs <[e-mail]>
Subject: [Teas] WG Last Call: draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-05

All,

This starts a two-week working group last call on
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing/

The working group last call ends on March 2nd 2024.
Please send your comments to the working group mailing list.

Positive comments, e.g., "I've reviewed this document
and believe it is ready for publication", are welcome!
This is useful and important, even from authors.
Thank you,
Pavan, Lou and Oscar