Re: [Tsvwg] AD review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-05

[Sally Floyd <[e-mail]>]

Lars -

> find my review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-05 below. I didn't find 
> any major technical issues, it's mostly small nits.
>
> One overall meta-comment, however, is that the document mixes 
> specification (description of the mechanism and protocols) and 
> applicability statements (discussion of behavior, effects, issues, 
> plus long appendices discussing related work, design options not 
> taken, a rebuttal to a review, etc.) This makes it difficult for the 
> reader to extract the mandatory-to-implement pieces out of the overall 
> work.
>
> For a Standards Track document, I'd require that this be addressed, 
> probably by refactoring the document into multiple smaller and more 
> focused ones. Since this is going for Experimental, I'm not going to 
> require this, but still would like to strongly suggest that the 
> authors discuss whether presenting the large body of work in a small 
> number of more focused documents (maybe: architecture, IP-layer 
> extension specification, TCP extension specification, applicability 
> statement) may not be more readable.

Many thanks for the review.  We made all the changes, and submitted the
revised version, at:
http://www.icir.org/floyd/papers/draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-06.txt
http://www.icir.org/floyd/papers/draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-06.ps

We deleted one appendix (the one on "Feedback from Bob Briscoe"),
and added two paragraphs to the Introduction saying that all of the
formal specifications are in Sections 3, 4, and 6.

- Sally

      Changes from draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-05:

      * Minor editing in response to IESG feedback.
        This includes changing one "should" to "SHOULD",
        and changing formating of the IANA Considerations
        section.

      * Clarifying in the Introduction that the QS router
        does not give preferential treatment to QS packets.
        In response to email from Fil Dickinson.

      * Added a discussion of interactions between
        Quick-Start and draft-ietf-pmtud-method.  Feedback
        from IESG.

      * Deleted Appendix F on "Feedback from Bob Briscoe".
        From feedback from the IESG about deleting unnecessary
        appendices.

      * Added a paragraph to the Introduction about which
        sections contain normative references, and which
        sections are general discussion.  Feedback from
        IESG.