[Uta] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-uta-rfc6125bis-14: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Fri, 04 August 2023 13:22 UTC

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Subject: [Uta] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-uta-rfc6125bis-14: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-uta-rfc6125bis-14: Discuss

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCUSS:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

# GEN AD review of draft-ietf-uta-rfc6125bis-14

CC @larseggert

Thanks to Maria Ines Robles for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/kKymWzL6jRgmCfLhf0A8IJATMMQ).

## Discuss

### Section 4.2, paragraph 4
```
     Consider a SIP-accessible voice-over-IP (VoIP) server at the host
     voice.example.edu servicing SIP addresses of the form
     user@voice.example.edu and identified by a URI of
     <sip:voice.example.edu>.  A certificate for this service would
     include a URI-ID of sip:voice.example.edu (see [SIP-CERTS]) along
     with a DNS-ID of voice.example.edu.
```
This has got to be the most pedantic Discuss ever, but
AFAICT "example.edu" is not in fact a valid example domain, i.e.,
it's missing from
https://www.iana.org/assignments/special-use-domain-names/special-use-domain-names.xhtml


----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

## Comments

### Inclusive language

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, `common`,
   `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`,
   `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`,
   `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread`

## Nits

All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

### Outdated references

Document references `draft-ietf-tls-subcerts`, but that has been published as
`RFC9345`.

### URLs

These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:

 *
 http://www.blackhat.com/presentations/bh-dc-09/Marlinspike/BlackHat-DC-09-Marlinspike-Defeating-SSL.pdf

### Grammar/style

#### Section 4.1, paragraph 1
```
SIP as described in [SIP-SIPS]). Typically this identifier type would supple
                                 ^^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Typically".

#### Section 4.2, paragraph 4
```
s or IP-IDs. Again, because of multi-protocol attacks this practice is discou
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
This word is normally spelled as one.

#### Section 6.2, paragraph 7
```
 DNS domain names more generally. Therefore the use of wildcard characters as
                                  ^^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Therefore".

## Notes

This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the
[`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].

[ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
[ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
[IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool