[v6ops] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-v6ops-unique-ipv6-prefix-per-host-07: (with COMMENT)

Ben Campbell <ben@nostrum.com> Wed, 16 August 2017 21:48 UTC

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Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2017 14:48:24 -0700
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Subject: [v6ops] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-v6ops-unique-ipv6-prefix-per-host-07: (with COMMENT)
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Ben Campbell has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-v6ops-unique-ipv6-prefix-per-host-07: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I have no technical comments, but a number of editorial comments:

- General: I think this could use another proofreading and/or editing pass for
the following issues: -- Inconsistent tense--especially use of future or
present continuous. -- Wordy and convoluted sentences -- Use of "/" as a
conjunction.

- Abstract:
The abstract is longer and more detailed than is useful. The last paragraph
could have stood alone as the abstract. It's not clear to me if "hosts
(subscribers)" means something different than "hosts" in context.

-1:
Please expand "IA_NA" on first use.
s/"This document will focus..."/"This document focuses..."

"As such the use
   of IPv6 SLAAC based subscriber and address management for provider
   managed shared network services is the recommended technology of
   choice, as it does not exclude any known IPv6 implementation."
Does this document make that recommendation, or is that some pre-existing
recommendation?

-3: "The Best Current Practice documented in this note is to provide a
   unique IPv6 prefix to hosts/subscribers devices connected to the
   provider managed shared network."

The sentence hard to follow. Consider "This document recommends...".  I'm not
sure how to interpret "hosts/subscribers devices"

"Each unique IPv6 prefix can
   function as control-plane anchor point to make sure that each
   subscriber is receiving"
s/"... subscriber is receiving ..."/"... subscriber receives..."

-4: Is "First Hop Provider Router" different than "First Hop Router"?

In the last bullet (L-flag=0), are NEVER and ALWAYS in all-caps expected to
have different meaning than if they had normal capitalization?

The sentence starting with "The architected result of designing the RA as
documented above..." is convoluted and hard to follow.

"... however it SHOULD NOT use stateful DHCPv6 to receive
   a service provider managed IPv6 address": Is that really a normative
   requirement, or is it a statement of fact about existing requirements?

"it SHOULD send this traffic
   to the First Hop Provider Router." : statement of fact?

- 5: "To reduce
   undesired resource consumption on the First Hop Router the desire is
   to remove UE/subscriber context in the case of non-permanent UE, such
   as in the case of WiFi hotspots as quickly as possible. "
Convoluted sentence.

"A possible solution is to use a subscriber inactivity timer which, after
   tracking a pre-defined (currently unspecified) number of minutes,
   deletes the subscriber context on the First Hop Router."

s/which/that   (Consider " ... timer that deletes...after a predetermined
number of minutes"

-7: "The
   combination of both IPv6 privacy extensions and operator based
   assignment of a Unique IPv6 Prefix per Host provides each
   implementing operator a tool to manage and provide subscriber
   services and hence reduces the experienced privacy within each
   operator controlled domain."

I have trouble following that sentence. Is the point to say that providing
tools to manage and provide services reduces privacy in general? As worded, it
almost sounds like this is meant as a feature, which I assume is not the case.