Re: [auth48] [IANA] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9353 <draft-ietf-lsr-pce-discovery-security-support-13> for your review

[Megan Ferguson <[e-mail]>]

IANA,

We would like to request a title change to a registry as described in the following communication with the authors:

> 13) <!--[rfced] Should the title change for the following IANA registry?
>      We note that RFC 5086 expanded PCED on first use and capped
>      "sub-" when in a title.  If these changes are agreeable, we will
>      communicate them to IANA during AUTH48 and update the text of
>      this document accordingly.  See:
>      https://www.iana.org/assignments/igp-parameters/igp-parameters.xhtml:
> 
> Current:
> PCED sub-TLV Type Indicator
> 
> Perhaps:
> PCE Discovery (PCED) Sub-TLV Type Indicator
> 
> >From RFC 5089:
>    This document defines a new sub-TLV (named the PCE Discovery (PCED))
>    to be carried within the IS-IS Router Capability TLV ([RFC4971]).
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Happy with the change!

We will await confirmation of this change prior to moving this document forward in the publication process. 

Authors - Completion of this change by IANA will be recorded at http://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9353.
 
Thank you.

RFC Editor/mf

> On Jan 2, 2023, at 11:05 AM, Acee Lindem (acee) <acee=[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> Hi RFC Editor, Dhruv, 
>  
> I concur with Dhruv on thanking the RFC Editors for the excellent work!!!
>  
> See a couple inlines. 
>  
> From: Dhruv Dhody <[e-mail]>
> Date: Sunday, January 1, 2023 at 11:28 PM
> To: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
> Cc: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]<[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, Acee Lindem (acee) <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9353 <draft-ietf-lsr-pce-discovery-security-support-13> for your review
> 
> Hello,
>  
> Happy New Year! Thanks for making the document better with your excellent work. See inline...
>  
> On Sat, Dec 24, 2022 at 1:43 AM <[e-mail]> wrote:
> Authors,
> 
> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> 
> 1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been updated as follows:
> 
> a) Abbreviations have been expanded per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 (“RFC
> Style Guide”). Please review.
> 
> Original:
> IGP extension for PCEP security capability support in PCE discovery
> 
> Current: 
> IGP Extension for Path Computation Element Communication Protocol
> (PCEP) Security Capability Support in PCE Discovery (PCED)
>  
> Dhruv: This is fine.
>  
>  
> 
> b) The short title (in the running header of the PDF version) has been updated.  Please review and let us know any objections.
> 
> Current:
> IGP Extension: PCEP Security in PCED
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: No objection.
>  
>  
> 
> 2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in 
> the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->
> 
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Can't think of any other keywords
>  
>  
> 3) <!-- [rfced]  Please review our suggested rephrase of the following text. Does it retain your intended meaning?
> 
> Original: 
> When a Path Computation Element (PCE) is a Label Switching Router
> (LSR) participating in the Interior Gateway Protocol (IGP), or even a server participating in the IGP, its presence and path computation capabilities can be advertised using IGP flooding.  
> 
> Perhaps: 
> When a Path Computation Element (PCE) is a Label Switching Router
> (LSR) or a server participating in the Interior Gateway Protocol (IGP), its
> presence and path computation capabilities can be advertised using IGP
> flooding. -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: I am happy with the rephrasing.
>  
>  
> 
> 4) <!--[rfced] Please review the updates we have made to the following
>      text (to avoid awkward hyphenation) to ensure the changes have
>      retained your intended meaning.
> 
> Original:
> As described in [RFC5440], Path Computation Element Communication
> Protocol (PCEP) communication privacy and integrity are important
> issues, as an attacker that intercepts a PCEP message could obtain
> sensitive information related to computed paths and resources.
> 
> Current:
> As described in RFC 5440, privacy and
> integrity are important issues for communication using the Path
> Computation Element Communication Protocol (PCEP); an attacker that
> intercepts a PCEP message could obtain sensitive information related
> to computed paths and resources.
> 
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: It is fine; just s/RFC 5440/[RFC5440]/ and I noticed that in the link that is exactly what you have already :)
>  
>  
> 
> 5) <!-- [rfced] We have updated this sentence to include TCP-AO as a
>      method to advertise PCEP security to make the text parallel to
>      the Abstract. Please let us know any objections.
> 
> Original:
> [RFC5088] and [RFC5089] define a method to advertise path computation
> capabilities using IGP flooding for OSPF and IS-IS respectively.
> However, these specifications lack a method to advertise PCEP security
> (e.g., TLS) support capability.
> 
> Current: 
> [RFC5088] and [RFC5089] define a method to advertise path computation
> capabilities using IGP flooding for OSPF and IS-IS, respectively.
> However, these specifications lack a method to advertise PCEP security
> (e.g., TLS and TCP-AO) support capability. -->
> 
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Sure!
>  
>  
> 6) <!--[rfced] Is text missing here?  "...the IS-IS" what?  Protocol?
>      Sub-TLVs?  Please clarify.
> 
> Original:
> [RFC5089] states that the IS-IS uses the same registry as OSPF.
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Perhaps -
> 
> [RFC5089] states that the IS-IS PCE-CAP-FLAGS sub-TLV uses the 
> same registry as OSPF.
>  
> Dhruv’s suggested text is fine. 
>  
>  
> 
> 7) <!--[rfced] Please review the following text for clarity.  We were
>      unsure about the last sentence when comparing it with the IANA
>      actions in the IANA Considerations section and RFC 8306.  If the
>      suggested text is incorrect, please provide another rephrasing.
> 
> Original:
> This document updates [RFC8306] where it uses the term "OSPF PCE
> Capability Flag" and request assignment from OSPF Parameters registry
> with "PCE Capability Flag" and the IGP Parameters registry.
> 
> Perhaps:
> This document also updates [RFC8306] by changing the term "OSPF PCE
> Capability Flag" to read as "Path Computation Element (PCE) Capability
> Flags" and to note the corresponding registry now exits in the
> 
> 
> "Interior Gateway Protocol (IGP) Parameters" registry.
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Happy with the rephrasing!
>  
> Please change “exits” to “exists”. 
>  
>  
> 
> 8) <!--[rfced] Please review whether any of the notes in this document
>      should be in the <aside> element. It is defined as "a container
>      for content that is semantically less important or tangential to
>      the content that surrounds it"
>      (https://authors.ietf.org/en/rfcxml-vocabulary#aside).
> 
> Original (1):
> Note that [RFC5557] uses the term "OSPF registry" instead of the "IGP
> registry" whereas [RFC8623] and [RFC9168] uses the term "OSPF
> Parameters" instead of "IGP Parameters".
> 
> Original (2): 
> Note that the PCEP Open message exchange is another way to discover
> PCE capabilities information, but in this instance, the TCP security
> related key parameters need to be known before the PCEP session is
> established and the PCEP Open messages are exchanged.  Thus, the use
> of the PCE Discovery and capabilities advertisement of the IGP needs
> to be leveraged. -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Happy to use <aside> element in the xml!
>  
>  
> 
> 9) <!--[rfced] The Web Portion of the RFC Style Guide
>      (https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/) recommends using
>      the abbreviated form of an abbreviation after it has been
>      introduced. We will implement this style for each of the
>      following abbreviations unless we hear objection.
> 
> PCE Discovery (PCED)
> TCP Authentication Option (TCP-AO) 
> Master Key Tuple (MKT) -->   
> 
>  
> Dhruv: No objection
>  
>  
> 
> 10) <!--[rfced] The following text is difficult to follow with regard to subject/verb agreement.  Would either of the following suggestions work?
> 
> Original:
> Thus, the use of the PCE discovery and capabilities
> advertisement of the IGP needs to be leveraged.
> 
> Perhaps A:
> Thus, PCE discovery and capabilities
> advertisement of the IGP need to be leveraged.
> 
> Perhaps B:
> Thus, the leveraging of PCE discovery and capabilities
> advertisement of the IGP is necessary.  
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: A is fine with me!
>  
> I’d suggest:
>      Thus, the IGP advertisement and flooding mechanisms need to be
>      leveraged for PCE discovery and capabilities advertisement.
>  
> However, I don’t feel that strongly and would be happy with A.
>  
>  
> 
> 11) <!--[rfced] We have received guidance from Benoit Claise and the YANG
> Doctors that "YANG module" and "YANG data model" are preferred. 
> We have updated the text to use these forms.  Please review. 
> 
> Original: 
> The YANG model for PCEP [I-D.ietf-pce-pcep-yang] supports PCEP
> security parameters (key, key chain, and TLS).
> 
> Current: 
> The YANG module for PCEP [I-D.ietf-pce-pcep-yang] supports PCEP
> security parameters (key, key chain, and TLS). -->
> 
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Ack
>  
>  
> 12) <!--[rfced] We suggest rephrasing this sentence for the ease of the
>      reader. Does the following suggestion retain your intended
>      meaning?
> 
> Original:
> Thus, before advertising the PCEP security parameters, using the
> mechanism described in this document, the IGP MUST be known to provide
> authentication and integrity for the PCED TLV using the mechanisms
> defined in [RFC5304], [RFC5310] or [RFC5709].
> 
> Perhaps: 
> Thus, before advertising the PCEP security parameters by using the
> mechanism described in this document, the IGP MUST be known to provide
> authentication and integrity for the PCED TLV using the mechanisms
> defined in [RFC5304], [RFC5310], or [RFC5709]. -->
> 
> 
>  
> Dhruv: It does! Happy with the rephrase!
>  
>  
> 13) <!--[rfced] Should the title change for the following IANA registry?
>      We note that RFC 5086 expanded PCED on first use and capped
>      "sub-" when in a title.  If these changes are agreeable, we will
>      communicate them to IANA during AUTH48 and update the text of
>      this document accordingly.  See:
>      https://www.iana.org/assignments/igp-parameters/igp-parameters.xhtml:
> 
> Current:
> PCED sub-TLV Type Indicator
> 
> Perhaps:
> PCE Discovery (PCED) Sub-TLV Type Indicator
> 
> >From RFC 5089:
>    This document defines a new sub-TLV (named the PCE Discovery (PCED))
>    to be carried within the IS-IS Router Capability TLV ([RFC4971]).
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Happy with the change!
>  
>  
> 
> 14) <!-- [rfced] RFC 2385 has been obsoleted by RFC 5925. Would the following update be agreeable?  We note that RFC 5925 is already in the References section.
> 
> Original:
>    As described in Section 10.2 of [RFC5440], an PCEP speaker MUST
>    support TCP MD5 [RFC2385], so no capability advertisement is needed
>    to indicate support.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    As described in Section 10.2 of [RFC5440], an PCEP speaker MUST
>    support TCP MD5 [RFC2385], so no capability advertisement is needed
>    to indicate support.  (Note that RFC 2385 has been obsoleted by RFC
>    5925.)
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: I think the reference RFC2385 itself needs to change. I see two option, we could either - 
>  
> A: Not using any reference, I see published RFCs which include the term "MD5" without a reference as it is quite well-known. 
> B: Use the reference as RFC 1321 (can also say that is obsoleted by RFC 5925) 
>  
> I think it should be “a PCEP speaker” rather than “an PCEP speaker since neither “P” or “Path” would be preceded by “an”.
> I don’t feel strongly about the reference – FBOW MD5 is deployed. Either option is fine with me stating that it has been
> obsoleted. 
>  
> I would like to know the opinion of the RFC editor team and others in CC! 
>  
>  
>  
>  
> 
> 15) <!-- [rfced] Would you like the references to be alphabetized
> or left in their current order?-->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Please alphabetize them.
> 
> 16) <!-- [rfced] We note that the URL provided for the reference below
>      goes to a page titled "Unicode Security Considerations" instead
>      of "Character Encoding Model". Please let us know how we should
>      update this reference.
> 
> Original:
>    [UTR36]    Davis, M., "Unicode Technical Report #36, Character
>               Encoding Model",
>               UTR17 https://www.unicode.org/unicode/reports/tr36/,
>               February 2005. -->
> 
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Thanks for spotting this! Please correct this to -> 
>  
> Davis, M., Ed. and M. Suignard, Ed., "Unicode Security Considerations", Unicode Technical Report #36, August 2010, <http://unicode.org/reports/tr36/>.
>  
> This is what I see in RFC 9003.
>  
>  
> 17) <!-- [rfced] We had the following questions related to terminology use
>      throughout the document:
> 
> a) We see the following variations with regard to spacing,
> hyphenation, and capping. Please review occurrences and let us know
> if/how these may be made consistent.
> 
> key-chain vs. keychain vs. key chain
>  
> Dhruv: key chain
>  
> Agreed. This is consistent with RFC 8177. 
>  
> Thanks,
> Acee
>  
>  
> 
> key-chain name vs. Key Chain Name vs. keychain name
> 
>  
> Dhruv: key chain name (and capitalize based on context) 
>  
> Also in section 3.3.1, the field name "Key Name" should be "Key Chain Name" to align with 3.3.2  
>  
>  
> Note we see both Key Chain Name sub-TLV and KEY-CHAIN-NAME sub-TLV as well.
> 
>  
> Dhruv: Use KEY-CHAIN-NAME sub-TLV
>  
>  
> b) We see the following mixed use of KeyID and Key ID (spacing).  May
> these be made uniform?  If so, how may we update?
> 
> ...[RFC5925] (referred to as KeyID).
> vs.
> KeyID: The one octet Key ID as per [RFC5925]
> (Note: we assume KEY-ID sub-TLV should remain as is).
> -->
> 
>  
> Dhruv: My preference is for KeyID and yes when referring to sub-TLV it should be KEY-ID sub-TLV.
>  
>  
> 
> 18) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide
> <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> and let
> us know if any changes are needed. For example, please consider whether
> the term "Master Key Tuple (MKT)" should be updated.
> 
> Original: 
> KeyID: The one octet Key ID as per [RFC5925] to uniquely identify
> the Master Key Tuple (MKT). -->
> 
> 
>  
> Dhruv: No change is needed.
>  
> Thanks! 
> Dhruv
>  
>  
> Thank you.
> 
> RFC Editor/mc/mf
> 
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> 
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> 
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> RFC Editor
> 
> --------------------------------------
> RFC9353 (draft-ietf-lsr-pce-discovery-security-support-13)
> 
> Title            : IGP extension for PCEP security capability support in PCE discovery
> Author(s)        : D. Lopez, Q. Wu, D. Dhody, Q. Ma, D. King
> WG Chair(s)      : Acee Lindem, Christian Hopps
> Area Director(s) : Alvaro Retana, John Scudder, Andrew Alston
>