Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11> for your review

[Janos Farkas <[e-mail]>]

Hi,

Thank you very much for your efforts improving the document!
I also approve the updated revision.

Kind regards,
Janos

-----Original Message-----
From: Jean Mahoney <[e-mail]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2024 7:26 PM
To: Andrew G. Malis <[e-mail]>; Balázs Varga A <[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail]; Janos Farkas <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11> for your review

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Bala'zs, Andy,

Thank you for your replies. We have updated the document:

    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-lastrfcdiff.html (these changes side by side)
    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.txt
    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.pdf
    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.html
    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.xml
    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-diff.html
    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-rfcdiff.html

We have also noted your approvals on the AUTH48 status page:

    https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9566

We have an additional question: in Section 4.2. Should "on" be instead "an" in the following sentence?

Original:
    The PREOF capable DetNet IP encapsulation builds on encapsulating
    DetNet PseudoWire (PW) directly over UDP.

Perhaps:
    The PREOF-capable DetNet IP encapsulation builds an encapsulating
    DetNet pseudowire (PW) directly over UDP.

We will await further word from you and Janos regarding other AUTH48 changes and/or approval.

Best regards,
RFC Editor/jm


On 4/10/24 10:16 AM, Andrew G. Malis wrote:
> I also agree, with the changes listed below the document is ready for
> publication.
>
> Cheers,
> Andy
>
>
> On Wed, Apr 10, 2024 at 10:16 AM Balázs Varga A
> <[e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>> wrote:
>
>     Hi JM,
>     Many thanks for your great comments/suggestions. Please find
>     reactions inline.
>     With these changes I confirm that the document is ready for publication.
>     Kind regards
>     Bala'zs
>
>     -----Original Message-----
>     From: [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>
>     <[e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>>
>     Sent: Thursday, April 4, 2024 12:18 AM
>     To: Balázs Varga A <[e-mail]
>     <mailto:[e-mail]>>; Janos Farkas
>     <[e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>>;
>     [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>
>     Cc: [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>;
>     [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>;
>     [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>;
>     [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>; [e-mail]
>     <mailto:[e-mail]>; [e-mail]
>     <mailto:[e-mail]>
>     Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566
>     <draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11> for your review
>
>     Authors,
>
>     While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as
>     necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
>
>     1) <!-- [rfced] Title. FYI, we have expanded PREOF in the title to
>     match our guidance on expanding abbreviations upon first use. Could
>     the title be shortened by removing an instance of "DetNet"?
>
>     Original:
>        Deterministic Networking (DetNet): DetNet PREOF via MPLS over
> UDP/IP
>
>     Current:
>        Deterministic Networking (DetNet): DetNet Packet Replication,
>        Elimination, and Ordering Functions (PREOF) via MPLS over
> UDP/IP
>
>     Perhaps:
>        Deterministic Networking (DetNet) Packet Replication, Elimination,
>        and Ordering Functions (PREOF) via MPLS over UDP/IP
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     2) <!-- [rfced] Title. FYI, we have made the short title, which is
>     displayed in the header of the PDF, consistent with the title of the
>     RFC. Please let us know if any changes are necessary.
>
>     Original:
>        PREOF DetNet IP
>
>     Current:
>        DetNet PREOF via MPLS over UDP/IP
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     3) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear
>     in the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search
>     <https://www.rfc-editor.org/search>.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Suggested keywords: DetNet, IP Data Plane, Service
>     sub-layer, Replication, Elimination, Ordering.
>
>
>     4) <!-- [rfced] Section 3. Because "practically" usually means
>     "almost" and "gains" typically means "acquires", may we update the
>     following sentence?
>
>     Original:
>         The described solution practically gains from MPLS header fields
>         without requiring the support of the MPLS forwarding plane.
>
>     Perhaps:
>         The described solution leverages MPLS header fields
>         without requiring the support of the MPLS forwarding plane.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     5) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.3. FYI, we have updated the following
>     sentence to improve clarity. Please let us know if any updates are
>     necessary.
>
>     Original:
>         Note, that Service-IDs is a local ID on the receiver side providing
>         identification of the DetNet flow at the downstream DetNet service
>         sub-layer receiver.
>
>     Current:
>         Note that the Service-ID is a local ID on the receiver side that
>         identifies the DetNet flow at the downstream DetNet service
>         sub-layer receiver.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     6) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.4. Does the sentence below mean that the
>     nodes are configured with the aggregation method?
>
>     Original:
>         The option used for aggregation is known by configuration of the
>         aggregation/de-aggregation nodes.
>
>     Perhaps:
>         The aggregation method is configured in the
>         aggregation/de-aggregation nodes.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     7) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5. Is only a Service-ID used to identify a
>     flow or is a Service-ID used with other information to identify a flow?
>
>     Original:
>         A Service-ID can be allocated to be unique and enabling
>         DetNet flow identification regardless of which input interface
>     or UDP
>         tunnel the packet is received.
>
>     Perhaps:
>         A unique Service-ID can be allocated and can be used
>         to identify a DetNet flow regardless of which input interface or UDP
>         tunnel receives the packet.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. If the Service-ID is unique,
>     no other information is needed.
>
>
>     8) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5. The following sentence implies that
>     there is a single header that contains both UDP and IP information.
>
>     Original:
>         ...each member flow requires their own Service-ID, UDP
>         and IP header information.
>
>     Perhaps:
>         ...each member flow requires its own Service-ID, UDP
>         header information, and IP header information.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     9) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5. Is part of the processing the
>     assignment of the Service-ID? Is the header information assigned?
>
>     Original:
>         The incoming PREOF processing can be implemented via the
>     provisioning
>         of received Service-ID, UDP and IP header information.
>
>     Possibly:
>         The incoming PREOF processing can be implemented by assigning
>         a Service-ID to the received DetNet flow and processing the
>         information in the UDP and IP headers.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Assigning a Service-ID is a prerequisite for data plane
>     processing.
>     So, I think your suggestion describes better the operation. Thanks.
>
>
>     10) <!-- [rfced] Section 5. Does the following list item contain
>     multiple things (e.g., "PREOF and related Service-IDs")? If so,
>     should they be on separate lines?
>
>     Original:
>         *  PREOF + related Service-ID(s).
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Good catch, here we have two information elements. Proposed
>     change:
>     Original:
>         *  PREOF + related Service-ID(s).
>     NEW:
>         *  Type of PREOF to be executed on the DetNet flow.
>         *  Service-ID(s) used by the member flows.
>     END
>
>
>     11) <!-- [rfced] Informative References. FYI, we have updated the
>     following reference to use the URL provided by the DOI. Please let
>     us know if any updates are necessary.
>
>     Original:
>         [IEEE8021CB]
>                    IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area
>                    networks - Frame Replication and Elimination for
>                    Reliability", DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139, October
>                    2017,
>
>     <https://standards.ieee.org/standard/802_1CB-2017.html
>     <https://standards.ieee.org/standard/802_1CB-2017.html>>.
>
>     Current:
>         [IEEE8021CB]
>                    IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area
>                    networks - Frame Replication and Elimination for
>                    Reliability", IEEE Std 802.1CB-2017,
>                    DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139, October 2017,
>                    <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139
>     <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139>>.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     12) <!-- [rfced] Informative References. Because the original URL
>     (https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802-1CBcv-d1-2.pdf <https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802-1CBcv-d1-2.pdf>) requires credentials to access, we recommend updating the reference to point to a landing page. We also note that the draft has been published as an Amendment.
>
>     Current:
>         [IEEEP8021CBcv]
>                    Kehrer, S., "FRER YANG Data Model and Management
>                    Information Base Module", IEEE P802.1CBcv
>                    /D1.2 P802.1CBcv, March 2021,
>
>     <https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802-
>     <https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802->
>                    1CBcv-d1-2.pdf>.
>
>     Perhaps:
>         [IEEE8021CBcv]
>                    IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area
>                    networks - Frame Replication and Elimination for
>                    Reliability - Amendment 1: Information Model, YANG Data
>                    Model, and Management Information Base Module", Amendment
>                    to IEEE Std 802.1CB-2017, IEEE Std 802.1CBcv-2021,
>                    DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.9715061, February 2022,
>                    <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.9715061
>     <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.9715061>>.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     13) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we have added expansions for abbreviations
>     upon first use per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide").
>     Please review each expansion in the document carefully to ensure
>     correctness.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your changes are OK. Thanks.
>
>
>     14) <!-- [rfced] Terminology. May we hyphenate "PREOF capable" for
>     ease of reading? For example:
>
>     Original:
>         Figure 5 shows using PREOF in a PREOF capable DetNet IP network...
>
>     Perhaps
>         Figure 5 shows using PREOF in a PREOF-capable DetNet IP network...
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Please do this change also in the
>     titles of Fig2, Fig3, and 4.6 Section. Many thanks.
>
>
>     15) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of
>     the online Style Guide
>     <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language
>     <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>>
>     and let us know if any changes are needed.
>
>     Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this
>     should still be reviewed as a best practice.
>     -->
>     <Balazs> Yes, I have reviewed "Inclusive Language". No changes are
>     needed.
>
>
>     Thank you.
>
>     RFC Editor/jm
>
>     On 4/3/24 5:13 PM, [e-mail]
>     <mailto:[e-mail]> wrote:
>
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>     https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.html
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>     https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.pdf
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> 0>
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> <https://www/
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>
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>     https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-xmldiff1.html
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> <https://www/
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> &reserved=0>
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> ed=0>
>
>
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>     RFC9566 (draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11)
>
>     Title            : Deterministic Networking (DetNet): DetNet PREOF
>     via MPLS over UDP/IP
>     Author(s)        : B. Varga, J. Farkas, A. Malis
>     WG Chair(s)      : Lou Berger, János Farkas
>
>     Area Director(s) : Jim Guichard, John Scudder, Gunter Van de Velde
>
>