Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11> for your review
Jean Mahoney <jmahoney@amsl.com> Wed, 10 April 2024 17:25 UTC
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Subject: Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11> for your review
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Bala'zs, Andy, Thank you for your replies. We have updated the document: https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-lastrfcdiff.html (these changes side by side) https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.txt https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.pdf https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.html https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566.xml https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-diff.html https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9566-rfcdiff.html We have also noted your approvals on the AUTH48 status page: https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9566 We have an additional question: in Section 4.2. Should "on" be instead "an" in the following sentence? Original: The PREOF capable DetNet IP encapsulation builds on encapsulating DetNet PseudoWire (PW) directly over UDP. Perhaps: The PREOF-capable DetNet IP encapsulation builds an encapsulating DetNet pseudowire (PW) directly over UDP. We will await further word from you and Janos regarding other AUTH48 changes and/or approval. Best regards, RFC Editor/jm On 4/10/24 10:16 AM, Andrew G. Malis wrote: > I also agree, with the changes listed below the document is ready for > publication. > > Cheers, > Andy > > > On Wed, Apr 10, 2024 at 10:16 AM Balázs Varga A > <balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com <mailto:balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com>> wrote: > > Hi JM, > Many thanks for your great comments/suggestions. Please find > reactions inline. > With these changes I confirm that the document is ready for publication. > Kind regards > Bala'zs > > -----Original Message----- > From: rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <mailto:rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org> > <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <mailto:rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>> > Sent: Thursday, April 4, 2024 12:18 AM > To: Balázs Varga A <balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com > <mailto:balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com>>; Janos Farkas > <Janos.Farkas@ericsson.com <mailto:Janos.Farkas@ericsson.com>>; > agmalis@gmail.com <mailto:agmalis@gmail.com> > Cc: rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <mailto:rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>; > detnet-ads@ietf.org <mailto:detnet-ads@ietf.org>; > detnet-chairs@ietf.org <mailto:detnet-chairs@ietf.org>; > lberger@labn.net <mailto:lberger@labn.net>; debcooley1@gmail.com > <mailto:debcooley1@gmail.com>; auth48archive@rfc-editor.org > <mailto:auth48archive@rfc-editor.org> > Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 > <draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-over-ip-preof-11> for your review > > Authors, > > While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as > necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file. > > 1) <!-- [rfced] Title. FYI, we have expanded PREOF in the title to > match our guidance on expanding abbreviations upon first use. Could > the title be shortened by removing an instance of "DetNet"? > > Original: > Deterministic Networking (DetNet): DetNet PREOF via MPLS over UDP/IP > > Current: > Deterministic Networking (DetNet): DetNet Packet Replication, > Elimination, and Ordering Functions (PREOF) via MPLS over UDP/IP > > Perhaps: > Deterministic Networking (DetNet) Packet Replication, Elimination, > and Ordering Functions (PREOF) via MPLS over UDP/IP > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 2) <!-- [rfced] Title. FYI, we have made the short title, which is > displayed in the header of the PDF, consistent with the title of the > RFC. Please let us know if any changes are necessary. > > Original: > PREOF DetNet IP > > Current: > DetNet PREOF via MPLS over UDP/IP > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 3) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear > in the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search > <https://www.rfc-editor.org/search>. > --> > <Balazs> Suggested keywords: DetNet, IP Data Plane, Service > sub-layer, Replication, Elimination, Ordering. > > > 4) <!-- [rfced] Section 3. Because "practically" usually means > "almost" and "gains" typically means "acquires", may we update the > following sentence? > > Original: > The described solution practically gains from MPLS header fields > without requiring the support of the MPLS forwarding plane. > > Perhaps: > The described solution leverages MPLS header fields > without requiring the support of the MPLS forwarding plane. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 5) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.3. FYI, we have updated the following > sentence to improve clarity. Please let us know if any updates are > necessary. > > Original: > Note, that Service-IDs is a local ID on the receiver side providing > identification of the DetNet flow at the downstream DetNet service > sub-layer receiver. > > Current: > Note that the Service-ID is a local ID on the receiver side that > identifies the DetNet flow at the downstream DetNet service > sub-layer receiver. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 6) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.4. Does the sentence below mean that the > nodes are configured with the aggregation method? > > Original: > The option used for aggregation is known by configuration of the > aggregation/de-aggregation nodes. > > Perhaps: > The aggregation method is configured in the > aggregation/de-aggregation nodes. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 7) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5. Is only a Service-ID used to identify a > flow or is a Service-ID used with other information to identify a flow? > > Original: > A Service-ID can be allocated to be unique and enabling > DetNet flow identification regardless of which input interface > or UDP > tunnel the packet is received. > > Perhaps: > A unique Service-ID can be allocated and can be used > to identify a DetNet flow regardless of which input interface or UDP > tunnel receives the packet. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. If the Service-ID is unique, > no other information is needed. > > > 8) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5. The following sentence implies that > there is a single header that contains both UDP and IP information. > > Original: > ...each member flow requires their own Service-ID, UDP > and IP header information. > > Perhaps: > ...each member flow requires its own Service-ID, UDP > header information, and IP header information. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 9) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5. Is part of the processing the > assignment of the Service-ID? Is the header information assigned? > > Original: > The incoming PREOF processing can be implemented via the > provisioning > of received Service-ID, UDP and IP header information. > > Possibly: > The incoming PREOF processing can be implemented by assigning > a Service-ID to the received DetNet flow and processing the > information in the UDP and IP headers. > --> > <Balazs> Assigning a Service-ID is a prerequisite for data plane > processing. > So, I think your suggestion describes better the operation. Thanks. > > > 10) <!-- [rfced] Section 5. Does the following list item contain > multiple things (e.g., "PREOF and related Service-IDs")? If so, > should they be on separate lines? > > Original: > * PREOF + related Service-ID(s). > --> > <Balazs> Good catch, here we have two information elements. Proposed > change: > Original: > * PREOF + related Service-ID(s). > NEW: > * Type of PREOF to be executed on the DetNet flow. > * Service-ID(s) used by the member flows. > END > > > 11) <!-- [rfced] Informative References. FYI, we have updated the > following reference to use the URL provided by the DOI. Please let > us know if any updates are necessary. > > Original: > [IEEE8021CB] > IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area > networks - Frame Replication and Elimination for > Reliability", DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139, October > 2017, > > <https://standards.ieee.org/standard/802_1CB-2017.html > <https://standards.ieee.org/standard/802_1CB-2017.html>>. > > Current: > [IEEE8021CB] > IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area > networks - Frame Replication and Elimination for > Reliability", IEEE Std 802.1CB-2017, > DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139, October 2017, > <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139 > <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2017.8091139>>. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 12) <!-- [rfced] Informative References. Because the original URL > (https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802-1CBcv-d1-2.pdf <https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802-1CBcv-d1-2.pdf>) requires credentials to access, we recommend updating the reference to point to a landing page. We also note that the draft has been published as an Amendment. > > Current: > [IEEEP8021CBcv] > Kehrer, S., "FRER YANG Data Model and Management > Information Base Module", IEEE P802.1CBcv > /D1.2 P802.1CBcv, March 2021, > > <https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802- > <https://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cv-drafts/d1/802-> > 1CBcv-d1-2.pdf>. > > Perhaps: > [IEEE8021CBcv] > IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and metropolitan area > networks - Frame Replication and Elimination for > Reliability - Amendment 1: Information Model, YANG Data > Model, and Management Information Base Module", Amendment > to IEEE Std 802.1CB-2017, IEEE Std 802.1CBcv-2021, > DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.9715061, February 2022, > <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.9715061 > <https://doi.org/10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.9715061>>. > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Thanks. > > > 13) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we have added expansions for abbreviations > upon first use per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). > Please review each expansion in the document carefully to ensure > correctness. > --> > <Balazs> Your changes are OK. Thanks. > > > 14) <!-- [rfced] Terminology. May we hyphenate "PREOF capable" for > ease of reading? For example: > > Original: > Figure 5 shows using PREOF in a PREOF capable DetNet IP network... > > Perhaps > Figure 5 shows using PREOF in a PREOF-capable DetNet IP network... > --> > <Balazs> Your suggestion is OK. Please do this change also in the > titles of Fig2, Fig3, and 4.6 Section. Many thanks. > > > 15) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of > the online Style Guide > <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language > <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>> > and let us know if any changes are needed. > > Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this > should still be reviewed as a best practice. > --> > <Balazs> Yes, I have reviewed "Inclusive Language". No changes are > needed. > > > Thank you. > > RFC Editor/jm > > On 4/3/24 5:13 PM, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org > <mailto:rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org> wrote: > > *****IMPORTANT***** > > Updated 2024/04/03 > > RFC Author(s): > -------------- > > Instructions for Completing AUTH48 > > Your document has now entered AUTH48. 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Varga, J. Farkas, A. Malis > WG Chair(s) : Lou Berger, János Farkas > > Area Director(s) : Jim Guichard, John Scudder, Gunter Van de Velde > >
- [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-detne… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Jean Mahoney
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Balázs Varga A
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Andrew G. Malis
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Jean Mahoney
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Balázs Varga A
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Jean Mahoney
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Janos Farkas
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9566 <draft-ietf-d… Jean Mahoney