Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9313 <draft-ietf-v6ops-transition-comparison-04> for your review

Gabor LENCSE <lencse@hit.bme.hu> Sat, 17 September 2022 14:06 UTC

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Subject: Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9313 <draft-ietf-v6ops-transition-comparison-04> for your review
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Dear RFC Editor,

First of all, thank you very much for your thorough work!

I have reviewed the DIFF ( 
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9313-diff.html ) and I am fine 
with corrections, except the deletion of the Acknowledgement section. I 
believe that those people would deserve our thanks. So if possible, 
please keep that section.

Besides the performed and proposed corrections, I would like to ask for 
two further ones.

CORRECTION REQUEST 1

In Section 4.4.3. Implementation Code Sizes, lw4o6 is listed twice. Its 
second occurrence should be deleted.

OLD:

    are 17 kB, 35 kB, 15 kB, 35 kB, and 48 kB for 464XLAT, lw4o6, DS-
    Lite, MAP-E, MAP-T, and lw4o6, respectively (see

NEW:

    are 17 kB, 35 kB, 15 kB, 35 kB, and 48 kB for 464XLAT, lw4o6, DS-
    Lite, MAP-E, and MAP-T, respectively (see

CORRECTION REQUEST 2

OLD:

    NAT64 vendors often support direct communication

NEW:

    Some NAT64 vendors support direct communication

Rationale: the same wording should be used as with the other technologies.


Please see my further answers inline.

On 9/14/2022 5:56 AM, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org wrote:t
> Authors,
>
> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
>
>
> 1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been updated as
> follows. Abbreviations have been expanded per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC
> Style Guide"). Please review.
>
> Original:
>    Pros and Cons of IPv6 Transition Technologies for IPv4aaS
>
> Current:
>    Pros and Cons of IPv6 Transition Technologies for IPv4-as-a-Service (IPv4aaS)
> -->
OK.
> 2) <!-- [rfced] Is "In this case" needed at the beginning of both sentences
> below?
>
> Original:
>    In this case, the IPv6-only client sends out IPv6 packets, and the
>    CLAT functions as an IPv6 router and the PLAT performs a stateful NAT64 for
>    these packets.  In this case, there is a single translation.
>
> Perhaps:
>    In this case, the IPv6-only client sends out IPv6 packets, the CLAT
>    functions as an IPv6 router router, and the PLAT performs a stateful NAT64 for
>    these packets. There is a single translation.
> -->
OK.
>
> 3) <!-- [rfced] May we update "user's equipment (UE or smartphone)" as follows?
> Or is another meaning intended?
>
> Original:
>     Note: in mobile networks, CLAT is commonly implemented in the user's
>     equipment (UE or smartphone), please refer to Figure 2 of [RFC6877].
>     
> Perhaps:
>     Note: In mobile networks, CLAT is commonly implemented in the user
>     equipment (UE) or smartphone; please refer to Figure 2 of [RFC6877].
> -->

OK.

> 4) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that [RFC2473] and [RFC2663] are correct here. We
> believe these are okay, but we ask because we do not see "AFTR" or "4in6" in
> [RFC2473] (though we do see "encapsulation" and "decapsulation"), and we do not
> see "NAPT44" in [RFC2663] (though we do see "NAPT").
>
> Original:
>     The AFTR performs encapsulation/decapsulation of the 4in6
>     [RFC2473] traffic and translates the IPv4 source address in the inner
>     IPv4 packet to public IPv4 source address using a stateful NAPT44
>     [RFC2663] function.
> -->
They are correct.
>
> 5) <!-- [rfced] Please also confirm that [RFC2663] is correct here. We do not see
> "stateful" or "NAPT44" in [RFC2663], though we do see "NAPT".
>
> Original:
>     The CE (Customer-Edge) router typically performs stateful NAPT44
>     [RFC2663] to translate the private IPv4 source addresses and source
>     ports into an address and port range defined by applying the MAP rule
>     to the delegated IPv6 prefix.
> -->
It is correct.
>
> 6) <!-- [rfced] We updated the series of verbs as follows for parallel
> structure (i.e., "decapsulate...validate...calculate" rather than
> "decapsulate...validating...how to calculate"). Please review and confirm
> that the updated text retains the intended meaning.
>
> Original:
>    These rules determine how the MAP BR is to decapsulate
>    traffic that it receives from the client, validating the source IPv4 address
>    and transport layer ports assigned, as well as how to calculate the
>    destination IPv6 address for ingress IPv4 traffic.
>
> Current:
>    These rules determine how the MAP BR is to decapsulate traffic
>    that it receives from the client, validate the source IPv4 address and
>    transport-layer ports assigned, and calculate the destination IPv6 address
>    for ingress IPv4 traffic.
> -->
OK.
>
> 7) <!-- [rfced] Will "to be statelessly NAT64 translated" be clear to readers?
> Would recasting the sentence be helpful?
>
> Original:
>     The MAP BR is
>     provisioned with the same BMR as the client, enabling the received
>     IPv6 traffic to be statelessly NAT64 translated back to the public
>     IPv4 source address used by the client.
>     
> Perhaps:
>     The MAP BR is
>     provisioned with the same BMR as the client, enabling the received
>     IPv6 traffic to be translated (using stateless NAT64) back to the public
>     IPv4 source address used by the client.
> -->
OK.
>
> 8) <!-- [rfced] We see the following forms used in the document. Is one form
> preferred?
>
> 4-in-6 vs. 4in6

Yes, I believe that it should be 4in6 everywhere, as it is much more 
commonly used.

> In addition, Table 1 has "4-6-4 encap.". Should this read "4-in-6
> encapsulation" (per bulleted list that precedes table) or "4in6
> encapsulation"?
> -->

Yes, "encap." means "encapsulation". So "4in6 encapsulation" would be 
the best at both places.

> 9) <!-- [rfced] Is [RFC2473] correct here? We do not see "IP-in-IP" in [RFC2473],
> though we do see "tunneling".
>
> Original:
>     In the scope of this document, all of the encapsulation based
>     mechanisms use IP-in-IP tunnelling [RFC2473].
> -->
It is correct.
>
> 10) <!--[rfced] The text that follows the colon below is very similar to text in
> Section 8.3.1 of RFC 7597. Is this meant to be a direct quote?
>
> Original:
>    The advice given in [RFC7597] Section 8.3.1 is applicable to all of
>    these mechanisms: It is strongly recommended that the MTU in the IPv6-only
>    domain be well managed (it should have sufficiently large MTU to support
>    tunneling and/or translation) and that the IPv6 MTU on the CE WAN-side
>    interface be set so that no fragmentation occurs within the boundary of the
>    IPv6-only domain.  -->

Yes, the main text is basically the same, but the original one did not 
contain the explanation of being well managed in parenthesis: (it should 
have sufficiently large MTU to support tunneling and/or translation). 
Perhaps this is why quotation marks were not used. Anyway, RFC 7597 is 
properly cited, so I hope that it is not considered plagiarism. :-)

I would leave it as is.

> 11) <!-- [rfced] How may we recast this sentence to improve clarity and eliminate
> the sentence fragment (i.e., text beginning with "First at...")?
>
> Original:
>    For the high-level solution of IPv6 service provider network
>    traversal, MAP-T uses double stateless translation.  First at the CE from IPv4
>    to IPv6 (NAT46), and then from IPv6 to IPv4 (NAT64), at the service provider
>    network.
>
> Perhaps:
>    For the high-level solution of IPv6 service provider network
>    traversal, MAP-T uses double stateless translation. The first translation is
>    from IPv4 to IPv6 (NAT46) at the CE, and the second translation is from IPv6
>    to IPv4 (NAT64) at the service provider network.
> -->
OK.
> 12) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We updated these bullets as follows to avoid awkward
> hyphenation with the expansion of "CGN".
>
> Original:
>     *  CGN-based approaches (DS-Lite, 464XLAT)
>
>     *  A+P-based approaches (lw4o6, MAP-E, MAP-T)
>
> Updated:
>     *  Approaches based on Carrier-Grade NAT (CGN) (DS-Lite, 464XLAT)
>
>     *  Approaches based on A+P (lw4o6, MAP-E, MAP-T)
> -->

OK.


> 13) <!--[rfced] How may we clarify "maintains per-session state only co-located
> devices"? Is a word missing here?
>
> Original:
>    In the A+P-based model, a device (usually a CE) performs stateful
>    NAPT44 and maintains per-session state only co-located devices, e.g.  in the
>    customer's home network.
>
> Perhaps:
>    In the A+P-based model, a device (usually a CE) performs stateful NAPT44
>    and maintains per-session state only on co-located devices, e.g., in the
>    customer's home network.
> -->

It was not my text, but I would read the original as:

   In the A+P-based model, a device (usually a CE) performs stateful
   NAPT44 and maintains per-session state only*for*  co-located devices, e.g.  in the
   customer's home network.

I mean that the CE maintains per session state for the communication of 
the devices behind the CE. (Typically owned by the customer.)


>
> 14) <!-- [rfced] Will readers know what "this" refers to here? Please review this
> sentence in context and let us know if any updates are needed.
>
> Original:
>     In the
>     case of 464XLAT, this can be achieved as well through EAMT (Explicit Address
>     Mapping Table) [RFC7757].
> -->

As I read the paragraph, I understood that "this" referred to 1:1 
mapping. However, I would begin the sentence with capital L.

OLD:

    lw4o6, MAP-E, and MAP-T can also be configured without IPv4 address
    sharing; see the details in Section 4.3.  However, in that case,
    there is no advantage in terms of public IPv4 address saving.  In the
    case of 464XLAT, this can also be achieved through EAMT (Explicit
    Address Mapping Table) [RFC7757].

NEW:

    *L*w4o6, MAP-E, and MAP-T can also be configured without IPv4 address
    sharing; see the details in Section 4.3.  However, in that case,
    there is no advantage in terms of public IPv4 address saving.  In the
    case of 464XLAT,*one-to-one mapping*  can also be achieved through EAMT (Explicit
    Address Mapping Table) [RFC7757].

I hope that is better.

> 15) <!-- [rfced] What does 'under "port numbers"' mean here? Would "By" or
> something else be a better word choice than "under"?
>
> Original:
>     Note: under "port numbers", we mean TCP/UDP port numbers or ICMP
>     identifiers.
> -->

Yes, I think "by" is the perfect English word.

(I am sorry, it was surely my text. The word "under" sounds perfect in 
Hungarian.)

>
> 16) <!--[rfced] Will it be clear to readers what "it" refers to in the phrase
> "if it is enabled on that network or part of it"?
>
> Original:
>     In most networks, it is possible to, using existing data about flows
>     to CDNs/caches or other well-known IPv6-enabled destinations,
>     calculate the percentage of traffic that would turn into IPv6 if it
>     is enabled on that network or part of it.
>
> Perhaps:
>     In most networks, it is possible to use existing data about flows to
>     Content Delivery Networks (CDNs), caches, or other well-known
>     IPv6-enabled destinations to calculate the percentage of traffic that
>     would turn into IPv6 if IPv6 is enabled on that network or on part of it.
> -->
OK.
>
> 17) <!-- [rfced] Please review the text starting with "in order to allow
> customers..." and let us know if updates for clarity would be helpful.
>
> Original:
>     From the 65,535 ports available per IPv4 address, we could even
>     consider reserving 1,024 ports, in order to allow customers that need
>     EAMT entries for incoming connections to System Ports (0-1023, also
>     called well-known ports) [RFC7605], which means 64,511 ports actually
>     available per each IPv4 address.
>
> Perhaps:
>     From the 65,535 ports available per IPv4 address, we could even
>     consider reserving 1,024 ports for customers that need
>     EAMT entries for incoming connections to System ports (0-1023, also
>     called "well-known ports") [RFC7605]. This means that 64,511 ports are
>     actually available for each IPv4 address.
> -->
OK.
>
> 18) <!-- [rfced] Should "IPv4/port" and "IPv6/port" in these sentences read "IPv4
> port" and "IPv6 port" (space rather than backslash)? We see an instance of "IPv4 port"
> elsewhere in the document.
>
> Original:
>     It is also possible to configure specific ports mapping in 464XLAT/
>     NAT64 using EAMT [RFC7757], which means that only those ports are
>     "lost" from the pool of addresses, so there is a higher maximization
>     of the total usage of IPv4/port resources.
>     ...
>     As the deployment of IPv6 progresses, the use of NAT64, and therefore
>     of public IPv4 addresses, decreases (more IPv6/ports, less IPv4/
>     ports), so either more subscribers can be accommodated with the same
>     number of IPv4 addresses, or some of those addressed can be retired
>     from the NAT64.
> -->

I think it would be better to use "IPv6 ports" and "IPv4 ports".


> 19) <!--[rfced] Should "dynamically assignment of addresses" here read "dynamic
> assignment of addresses"? Also, may we move the "when" clause to the
> beginning of the sentence to improve readability?
>
> Original:
>    An alternative approximation for the other IPv4aaS technologies,
>    when dynamically assignment of addresses is not possible, must ensure
>    sufficient number of ports per subscriber.
>
> Perhaps:
>    When dynamic assignment of addresses is not possible, an
>    alternative approximation for the other IPv4aaS technologies must ensure a
>    sufficient number of ports per subscriber.
> -->
Yes, please perform the change.
>
> 20) <!-- [rfced] May we split up this long sentence as follows to improve
> readability?
>
> Original:
>     In that
>     case, assuming 80% of IPv6 traffic, as above, which will allow only
>     30 subscribers per each IPv4 address, so the closer approximation to
>     275,000 subscribers per our example with 464XLAT (with a /22), will
>     be using a /19, which serves 245,760 subscribers (a /19 has 8,192
>     addresses, 30 subscribers with 2,000 ports each, per address).
>
> Perhaps:
>     In that
>     case, assuming 80% is IPv6 traffic (as above), only
>     30 subscribers will be allowed per each IPv4 address; thus, the closer approximation to
>     275,000 subscribers per our example with 464XLAT (with a /22) will
>     be using a /19, which serves 245,760 subscribers (a /19 has 8,192
>     addresses, 30 subscribers with 2,000 ports each, per address).
> -->
>
OK.
> 21) <!-- [rfced] Is "into 2x2=4 categories" correct here? Is the intent "in a 2x2
> matrix"? Please review and let us know if any updates are needed.
>
> Original:
>     The five IPv4aaS technologies can be classified into 2x2=4 categories
>     on the basis of two aspects:
> -->

My intent was "two times two". I think  "2x2 matrix" is a good expression.

OLD:

    The five IPv4aaS technologies can be classified into 2x2=4 categories
    on the basis of two aspects:

NEW:

    The five IPv4aaS technologies can be classified into a 2x2 matrix
    on the basis of two aspects:

>
> 22) <!-- [rfced] In Table 3, will it be clear to readers what "X" stands for in
> the second row? That is, does the "X" indicate presence or absence of
> NAPT44 per-flow state in the operator network?
> -->
It indicates the presence. Do you think that a "+" sign would be better?
> 23) <!-- [rfced] We updated "PLAT/AFTR devices" to "PLAT and AFTR devices" because of the word "respectively".
>
> Original:
>     464XLAT and DS-Lite use stateful NAPT at the PLAT/AFTR devices,
>     respectively.
>
> Updated:
>     464XLAT and DS-Lite use stateful NAPT at the PLAT and AFTR devices,
>     respectively.
OK.
>    
>
> Is "PLAT/AFTR" okay as is in these sentences, or should these also read "PLAT and AFTR"?
>
> Original:
>     Technologies utilizing DNS64 can also distribute load across PLAT/
>     AFTR devices, evenly or unevenly, by using different prefixes.
>     ...
>     Each entry in the PLAT/
>     AFTR's generates a logging entry.
> -->

I can understand it with "/", but feel free to use "and" or even "or" if 
you think that one of them is better!

However, I am not sure why "'s" occurs in the last quoted sentence. I 
think it should not.

OLD:

Each entry in the PLAT/
    AFTR's generates a logging entry.

NEW:

Each entry in the PLAT/
    AFTR generates a logging entry.

> 24) <!-- [rfced] We are having trouble parsing this sentence. Please clarify
> "common CE router NAT44 implementations utilizing Netfilter,
> multiplexes".
>
> Original:
>     We note that common CE router NAT44 implementations utilizing
>     Netfilter, multiplexes active sessions using a 3-tuple (source
>     address, destination address, and destination port).
>     
> Perhaps:
>     We note that common NAT44 implementations utilizing
>     Netfilter at the CE router multiplex active sessions using a 3-tuple (source
>     address, destination address, and destination port).
> -->
OK.
>
> 25) <!-- [rfced] Please clarify "Load balancer and firewall vendors" here. Is the
> intent "Load balancers and firewall vendors" (two separate things),
> "Vendors of load balancers and firewalls" (two types of vendors), or
> something else?
Vendors of load balancers and vendors of firewalls.
> Original:
>     Load balancer and firewall vendors usually support NAT64 as well,
>     while not all of them have support for the other protocols.
> -->

I would write:

    Vendors of load balancers and firewalls usually support NAT64 as well,
    while not all of them have support for the other protocols.

But I understand the it can also be misparsed. I can live with the 
following, too:

    Vendors of load balancers and vendors of firewalls usually support NAT64 as well,
    while not all of them have support for the other protocols.

But it does not sound me very good. Perhaps:

    Load balancers and firewalls usually support NAT64 as well,
    while not all of them have support for the other protocols.

What do you think?

> 26) <!-- [rfced] We have updated this sentence as follows to improve
> readability. Please let us know any objections.
>
> Original:
>    The OpenWRT Linux based open-source OS designed for CE devices offers
>    a number of different 'opkg' packages as part of the distribution:
>
> Updated:
>    OpenWRT is a Linux-based open-source OS designed for CE devices. It offers
>    a number of different 'opkg' packages as part of the distribution:
> -->

OK.

> 27) <!-- [rfced] Please review "lw4o6 taking over in the last years". Is the
> intended meaning "deployments of lw4o6 have been rapidly increasing in
> the last few years" or something similar?
>
> Original:
>     Lw4o6 and DS-Lite have more deployments, with DS-Lite
>     being the most common, but lw4o6 taking over in the last years.
>
> Perhaps:
>     Lw4o6 and DS-Lite have more deployments, with DS-Lite
>     being the most common, but deployments of lw4o6 have been rapidly
>     increasing in the last few years.
> -->
OK.

> 28) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that the URL here is correct. We do not see either
> sizes or technologies listed on this page.
>
> Original:
>     As hint to the relative complexity of the mechanisms, the following
>     code sizes are reported from the OpenWRT implementations of each
>     technology are 17kB, 35kB, 15kB, 35kB, and 48kB for 464XLAT, lw4o6,
>     DS-Lite, MAP-E, MAP-T, and lw4o6, respectively
>     (https://openwrt.org/packages/start).
> -->

I think that the URL is correct. It can be used to access OpenWRT packages.

There are two sub URLs at this page:


    Package database of 21.02

Overview of all available packages grouped by type: Package Index 
<https://openwrt.org/packages/index/start>

Comprehensive and searchable package table: Package Table 
<https://openwrt.org/packages/table/start>

But the second one does not work even now. So I do not recommend using 
any more specific URLs.


Please note that my "CORRECTION REQUEST 1" above refers to this place.

NEW:

    As hint to the relative complexity of the mechanisms, the following
    code sizes are reported from the OpenWRT implementations of each
    technology are 17kB, 35kB, 15kB, 35kB, and 48kB for 464XLAT, lw4o6,
    DS-Lite, MAP-E, and MAP-T, respectively
    (https://openwrt.org/packages/start).

>
> 29) <!-- [rfced] May we update these sentences in Sections 4.5.2 and 4.5.2 (both
> introduce bulleted lists) as follows?
>
> Original:
>     Figures from existing deployments (end of 2018), show that the
>     typical traffic volumes in an IPv6-only cellular network, when
>     464XLAT technology is used together with DNS64, are:
>     ...
>     Figures from several existing deployments (end of 2020), mainly with
>     residential customers, show that the typical traffic volumes in an
>     IPv6-only network, when 464XLAT is used with DNS64, are in the
>     following ranges:
>
> Perhaps:
>     Figures from existing deployments (through the end of 2018) show the
>     typical traffic volumes in an IPv6-only cellular network when
>     464XLAT technology is used together with DNS64:
>     ...
>     Figures from several existing deployments (through the end of 2020), mainly with
>     residential customers, show the ranges of typical traffic volumes in an
>     IPv6-only network, when 464XLAT is used with DNS64:
> -->

OK.


>
> 30) <!--[rfced] FYI - We updated the text below for clarity (i.e., changed "which"
> to "that", split into two sentences, and updated "figures" to
> "percentage"). Please review and confirm that the updated text
> accurately conveys the intended meaning.
>
> Original:
>    When a wireline ISP has mainly residential customers, content
>    providers and CDNs which are already IPv6 enabled (Google/Youtube, Netflix,
>    Facebook, Akamai, etc) typically account for the 65-85% of the traffic in the
>    network, so when the subscribers are IPv6 enabled, about the same figures of
>    traffic will become IPv6.
>
> Current:
>     When a wireline ISP has
>     mainly residential customers, content providers and CDNs that are
>     already IPv6 enabled (Google/YouTube, Netflix, Facebook, Akamai,
>     etc.) typically account for 65-85% of the traffic in the network.
>     Thus, when the subscribers are IPv6 enabled, about the same
>     percentage of traffic will become IPv6.
> -->

OK.

> 31) <!-- [rfced] Please review "PLAT/AFTR's generates". Is a word missing here? Or
> should "PLAT/AFTR's" read "PLAT/AFTR" (no 's)?
>
> Original:
>     Each entry in the PLAT/AFTR's generates a logging entry.
>
> Perhaps:
>     Each entry in the PLAT/AFTR's table generates a logging entry.
>
> Or:
>     Each entry in the PLAT/AFTR generates a logging entry.
> -->

I can accept any of them, but I prefer the first one.


>
> 32) <!-- [rfced] Will it be clear to readers what "they" and "them" refer to here?
> Also, may we move the "because" clause to the beginning of the sentence
> to improve readability?
>
> Original:
>    Using those optimizations, because the NAT46 has already translated
>    the IPv4-only flow to IPv6, and the services are dual-stack, they can
>    be reached without the need to translate them back to IPv4.
>
> Perhaps:
>     Because the NAT46 has already translated
>     the IPv4-only flow to IPv6 and the services are dual-stack, using these
>     optimizations allows the services to
>     be reached without the need to translate the flow back to IPv4.
> -->
OK.
>
> 33) <!-- [rfced] How may we clarify "legacy [RFC5180] compliant commercial tester
> [LEN2020a]"? What is "compliant"?
A tester that complies with RFC5180, but does not comply with RFC 8219.
> Original:
>     An example
>     for the latter is our stateless NAT64 measurements testing Througput
>     and Frame Loss Rate using a legacy [RFC5180] compliant commercial
>     tester [LEN2020a]
>
> Perhaps:
>     An example
>     for the latter is our stateless NAT64 measurements testing Throughput
>     and Frame Loss Rate using a legacy commercial
>     tester [LEN2020a] that is compliant with [RFC5180].
> -->
OK.
>
> 34) <!-- [rfced] In [RFC4814], we see "pseudorandom port" rather than "random
> port". Are any updates needed here?
>
> Original:
>     Originally, it literally followed the test
>     frame format of [RFC2544] including "hard-wired" source and
>     destination port numbers, and then it has been complemented with the
>     random port feature required by [RFC4814].
> -->

Yes, pseudorandom is more accurate. Not real (physical process based) 
random numbers are used.

NEW:

    Originally, it literally followed the test
    frame format of [RFC2544] including "hard-wired" source and
    destination port numbers, and then it has been complemented with the
    pseudorandom port number feature required by [RFC4814].


> 35) <!-- [rfced] Should "an own caching DNS server" here read "its own caching DNS
> server"? Or is another meaning intended?
>
> Original:
>     However, an
>     efficient cache poisoning attack requires that the subscriber
>     operates an own caching DNS server and the attack is performed in the
>     service provider network.
>
> Perhaps:
>     However, an
>     efficient cache poisoning attack requires that the subscriber
>     operates its own caching DNS server and the attack is performed in the
>     service provider network.
> -->
OK.
>
> 36) <!-- [rfced] The URLs in the following reference entries are to personal
> webpages. May we update to use more stable URLs, perhaps the URLs that
> the DOIs point to?
There are two conflicting goals: open access and stability. I used the 
URLs pointing to my own home page the make the papers available for 
anyone. But perhaps it is better to use the non open access but more 
stable URLs.
> Note that for [REP2014], we also updated the date from 2014 to 2015 (in
> citation as well as reference entry), "37th" to "38th", and "Repas" to
> "Répás" per the DOI provided. Please let us know any objections.

Let me explain the situation. It is rather complicated.

The conference where the paper was presented was held in Berlin in 2014. 
Sándor Répás, my PhD student was there and presented his paper. I have 
found a CFP: http://www.wikicfp.com/cfp/servlet/event.showcfp?eventid=35034

However, due to some technical problems the papers of "TSP 2014 : 2014 
37th International Conference on Telecommunications and Signal 
Processing" were not included into IEEE Xplore in 2014. Next year, the 
conference was in Prague. (I myself was also there.) The URL is: 
http://www.wikicfp.com/cfp/servlet/event.showcfp?eventid=42303

The papers of TSP 2014 were included into IEEE Xplore in 2015 together 
with the TSP 2015 papers (as if they were presented in 2015), but of 
course they were NOT presented (again) in Prague in 2015.

So my list of publications contains the best possible information:

S. Répás, T. Hajas and G. Lencse, "Port Number Consumption of the NAT64 
IPv6 Transition Technology", /Proceedings of the 37th International 
Conference on Telecommunications and Signal Processing (TSP 2014)/, 
(Berlin, Germany, 2014. July, 1-3.) Brno University of Technology, pp. 
66-72. DOI: 10.1109/TSP.2015.7296411
Full Paper in PDF 
<http://www.hit.bme.hu/~lencse/publications/TSP-2014-PC.pdf>

Even if the above DOI (containing 2015) contradicts the name of the 
conference (37th and TSP 2014), in fact this is complete truth. But I 
can live with the updated information. :-)

And indeed, Sándor's exact family name is "Répás". I have willfully 
replaced the Hungarian accented letters in his name with the English 
approximations: "Repas". I did so in all author names of all references 
to use only ASCII characters.

>
> Original:
>     [LEN2018]  Lencse, G. and Y. Kadobayashi, "Methodology for the
>                identification of potential security issues of different
>                IPv6 transition technologies: Threat analysis of DNS64 and
>                stateful NAT64",  Computers & Security (Elsevier), vol.
>                77, no. 1, pp. 397-411,  DOI: 10.1016/j.cose.2018.04.012,
>                1 August 2018,
>                <http://www.hit.bme.hu/~lencse/publications/ECS-2018- 
> Methodology-revised.pdf>.
>
>     [LEN2019]  Lencse, G. and Y. Kadobayashi, "Comprehensive Survey of
>                IPv6 Transition Technologies: A Subjective Classification
>                for Security Analysis",  IEICE Transactions on
>                Communications, vol. E102-B, no.10, pp. 2021-2035.,  DOI:
>                10.1587/transcom.2018EBR0002, 1 October 2019,
>                <http://www.hit.bme.hu/~lencse/publications/ e102-b_10_2021.pdf>.
>
>     [REP2014]  Repas, S., Hajas, T., and G. Lencse, "Port number
>                consumption of the NAT64 IPv6 transition
>                technology",  Proc. 37th Internat. Conf. on
>                Telecommunications and Signal Processing (TSP 2014),
>                Berlin, Germany,  DOI: 10.1109/TSP.2015.7296411, July
>                2014,<http://www.hit.bme.hu/~lencse/publications/TSP- 2014-PC.pdf>.
>
> Perhaps:
>     [LEN2018]  Lencse, G. and Y. Kadobayashi, "Methodology for the
>                identification of potential security issues of different
>                IPv6 transition technologies: Threat analysis of DNS64 and
>                stateful NAT64", Computers & Security, Vol. 77, No. 1, pp.
>                397-411, DOI 10.1016/j.cose.2018.04.012, August 2018,
>                <https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/ 
> S0167404818303663?via%3Dihub>.
>
>     [LEN2019]  Lencse, G. and Y. Kadobayashi, "Comprehensive Survey of
>                IPv6 Transition Technologies: A Subjective Classification
>                for Security Analysis", IEICE Transactions on
>                Communications, Vol. E102-B, No. 10, pp. 2021-2035,
>                DOI 10.1587/transcom.2018EBR0002, October2019,
>                <https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/transcom/E102.B/10/ 
> E102.B_2018EBR0002/_article>.
>
>     [REP2015]  Répás, S., Hajas, T., and G. Lencse, "Port Number
>                Consumption of the NAT64 IPv6 Transition Technology", 38th
>                International Conference on Telecommunications and Signal
>                Processing, DOI 10.1109/TSP.2015.7296411, 2015,
>                <https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/7296411>.	
> -->
>
I can accept all.


> 37) <!-- [rfced] We have updated these references as follows. Would it be helpful
> to update the [MEX2022] citation tag to something more descriptive,
> perhaps [JOOL-MAPT]?
>
> Original:
>     [jool]     NIC.MX, "Open Source SIIT and NAT64 for Linux", 2022,
>                <http://www.jool.mx>.
> 	      ...
>     [MEX2022]  Jool Developers, "Jool: Siit and NAT64",  Documentation of
>                Jool MAP-T implementation, 2022,
>                <https://www.jool.mx/en/run-mapt.html>.
> 	
> Updated:
>     [JOOL]     "Jool: SIIT & NAT64",<http://www.jool.mx>.
>     ...
>     [MEX2022]  "MAP-T Run",<https://www.jool.mx/en/run-mapt.html>.
> -->
OK.
>
> 38) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that this reference entry is correct. We ask
> because we do not see the title on the URL provided, though we do see a
> few instances of "vpp". Also, the original text that contains the [vpp]
> citation mentions "VPP/fd.io", which we do not see at the URL.  Note that
> the URL provided redirects tohttps://gerrit.fd.io/r/admin/repos/  (a
> repository of some sort). Please review and let us know if any updates
> are needed.
>
> Original:
>     *  VPP/fd.io [vpp] (MAP-BR, lwAFTR, CGN, CLAT, NAT64).
>     ...
>     [vpp]      "VPP Implementations of IPv6-only with IPv4aaS", 2022,
>                <https://gerrit.fd.io/r/#/admin/projects/>.
> -->

What do you think of this one: https://wiki.fd.io/view/VPP

It contains VPP.

> 39) <!-- [rfced] We have updated these references as follows per the guidance on
> "Referencing Web-Based Public Code Repositories (e.g., GitHub)" at
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#ref_repo. Please review this
> website and the updated reference entries to confirm accuracy.
>
> Note that we did not update the title of either reference entry. For [SNABB],
> is the title okay as is? Or would "Snabb Switch: Fast open source packet"
> (which appears under "About" at<https://github.com/Igalia/snabb>) be better?
> We see that the title of the [SIITPERF] entry appears under "About".
>
> Original:
>     [SIITperf] Lencse, G., "Siitperf: an RFC 8219 compliant SIIT
>                (stateless NAT64) tester", November 2019,
>                <https://github.com/lencsegabor/siitperf>.
>     ...	
>     [snabb]    Igalia, "Snabb implementation of lwAFTR", 2022,
>                <https://github.com/Igalia/snabb>.
>
> Updated:
>     [SIITPERF] "Siitperf: an RFC 8219 compliant SIIT (stateless NAT64)
>                tester", commit bdce0f, February 2021,
>                <https://github.com/lencsegabor/siitperf>.

Perfect!

Including the commit was a very good idea! Especially because I plan to 
merge the "stateful" branch into the "master" branch. With the commit 
number, everything will remain clear also after the merge. :-)

>
>     [SNABB]    "Snabb implementation of lwAFTR", commit 1ef72ce, January
>                2022,<https://github.com/Igalia/snabb>.
> -->
>
The old title would fit better to our RFC. But I can see that Snabb 
implements other things, too... I can accept if you update it to "Snabb 
Switch: Fast open source packet processing"
> 40) <!-- [rfced] Is the citation [aftr] correct here? We ask because we do not see
> AFTR mentioned on the link provided in the corresponding reference entry
> for [aftr]. Please review.
>
> Original:
>     *  AFTR [aftr] (DSLite AFTR).
>
> Also, we do not see the title of the reference entry below listed at the
> provided URL. The URL goes to the ISC downloads page that provides downloads
> for BIND 9, ISC DHCP, Kea, and Stork. Is the intent to cite one of these? Is
> the current title of this reference okay as is, or is an update needed?
>
> Original:
>     [aftr]     ISC, "ISC implementation of AFTR", 2022,
>                <https://www.isc.org/downloads/>.
> -->

As far as I remember, AFTR was linked to this page. But they have 
changed this page this year. It did not look like this. :-(

I have found the repository here: https://downloads.isc.org/isc/aftr/ -- 
Please update the reference to this page. Although I am not sure, how 
long it will be available. I am also not sure if this about 12-year-old 
software would compile now. Perhaps yes, under Debian 6. :-)


> 41) <!-- [rfced] Terminology
>
> a) We see both "tester" and "Tester" in the document. Should the capialization
> be consistent?

Perhaps yes. I would prefer Tester, as I usually use so in my BMWG 
draft, but I can accept the other version, too. (But I would not touch 
paper titles.)


>
> b) FYI - we see both "well-known ports" and "Well-Known-Ports" in the document.
> We updated to "well-known ports" as that form is more common in the RFC
> Series.

OK.


>
> c) We expanded the following acronyms as shown below. Please let us know
> any objections.
>
> Content Delivery Network (CDN) - per expansion in RFC 8683
>
> Inter-Packet Delay Variation (IPDV)
OK.
>
>
> d) How should the acronym "MAP" be expanded when not in the context of "MAP-E" or "MAP-T"?
>
I did not find any occurrence of "MAP" which is not in the context of 
MAP-E or MAP-T.

(E.g. "MAP rules" is also in this context.)


> e) Please review the following terms that use the backslash. Are these okay as
> is, or would updating to use commas with "and" (or "or") be better?
>
> lwAFTR/BR
> PLAT/AFTR/BR
> PLAT/AFTR/lwAFTR/BR
> -->

 From my side, they are OK with a "/". But if you prefer other solutions 
from editorial point of view, I can accept it, too.


>
> 42) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online
> Style Guide<https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> and let us know if any changes are needed.
>
> For example, please consider whether the following should be updated:
>
> native
> -->

I am fine with it as is.


>
> 43) <!-- [rfced] XML formatting
>
> a) Please review whether any of the notes in this document
> should be in the <aside> element. It is defined as "a container for
> content that is semantically less important or tangential to the
> content that surrounds it" (https://xml2rfc.tools.ietf.org/xml2rfc-doc.html#name-aside-2).
I am not aware any of it.
>
> b) Would it be helpful to use the <eref> element for sohu.com and
> twitter.com here to create links in the html and pdf output formats? Note that
> we would need to update to<https://www.sohu.com/>  and<https://twitter.com/>,
> respectively.
>
> Original:
>     For example, under
>     certain conditions, 120-160 ports were used (URL: sohu.com, browser:
>     Firefox under Ubuntu Linux), and in some other cases it was only 3-12
>     ports (URL: twitter.com, browser: Iceweasel under Debian Linux).

They are used so in the original paper, therefore, I would keep them as 
they are. They are used as examples. There is no point in making them 
working links.

> c) Some author comments are present in the XML. Please confirm that
> no updates related to these comments are outstanding. Note that the
> comments will be deleted prior to publication.
> -->
It is OK the delete them.
>
> Thank you.
>
> RFC Editor/st/mc/rv
>
Thank you very much for your meticulous work. I have learnt a lot from 
this review!

Best regards,

Gábor


>
> On Sep 13, 2022, at 1:46 PM,rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org  wrote:
>
> *****IMPORTANT*****
>
> Updated 2022/09/13
>
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> --------------------------------------
> RFC9313 (draft-ietf-v6ops-transition-comparison-04)
>
> Title            : Pros and Cons of IPv6 Transition Technologies for IPv4aaS
> Author(s)        : G. Lencse, J. Martinez, L. Howard, R. Patterson, I. Farrer
> WG Chair(s)      : Ron Bonica, XiPeng Xiao
>
> Area Director(s) : Warren Kumari, Robert Wilton
>
>