[CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-info-model (editorial)
Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net> Fri, 14 June 2013 20:04 UTC
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Date: Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:04:17 -0400
From: Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net>
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Subject: [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-info-model (editorial)
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Hi, The following are comments as part of my LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-otn-g709-info-model-08. Note that I'm the document shepherd, see RFC 4858 for more information. Please see http://tools.ietf.org/idnits?url=http://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-ccamp-otn-g709-info-model-08.txt for line numbers used in this message. The draft needs to be nit free before being passed to the IESG. The following nits show in the above URL: Checking references for intended status: Informational ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- == Unused Reference: 'RFC3630' is defined on line 831, but no explicit reference was found in the text == Unused Reference: 'RFC5250' is defined on line 853, but no explicit reference was found in the text == Outdated reference: A later version (-06) exists of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ospf-g709v3-04 == Outdated reference: A later version (-12) exists of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g709-framework-11 == Outdated reference: A later version (-09) exists of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3-05 I also have the following editorial comments: - From my comments on the framework document: this and the other g709v3 documents should be consistent in usage of "TS granularity" versus "TSG". Sometimes one is used rather than the other, sometimes both are used in the same document (as is the case in this document). Please pick either one and update the four documents to be consistent. - Another and related comment is please define and use a consistent plural form of "TS". You initially define "TSs" to expand to "Time Slots", but then use "TS" as the plural form in many (but not all cases). I personally think "TSs" in all plural cases makes the most sense. - Also same comment for TSGs. - please be consistent in usage of "Gbps". Some inconsistent examples: "1.25/2.5", "1.25Gbps", "1.25 GBps" and "1.25 Gbps". (I personally prefer the final form, but any common form is fine.) Line 24: s/methods/protocols Lines 88-97: Section 1 This section is a bit odd in what it says and doesn't say. How about something along the following as a replacement: GMPLS routing and signaling, as defined by [RFC4203], [RFC3473] and [RFC4328], provides the mechanisms for basic GMPLS control of OTN networks based on the 2001 revision of the G.709 specification. The 2012 revision of the G.709 specification, [G709-2012], includes new OTN features which are not supported by GMPLS. This document provides an evaluation of exiting GMPLS signaling and routing protocols against G.709 [G.709-2012] requirements. Background information and a framework for the GMPLS protocol extensions need to support [G.709-2012] is provided in [OTN-FWK]. Specific routing and signaling extensions are defined in [OTN-OSPF] and [OTN-RSVP]. Line 214: s/2,5/2.5 Line 257: Do you perhaps mean "This distinction" rather than "The discrimination"? Line 292: s/r[/[ Line 300: AUTOpayloadtype needs a reference Line 320: s/TS size/TSG Line 322/3: I think the 1st sentence cane be dropped (as it really just says "On the other side the client TSG is the TSG that is exported towards the client layer.") Line 412: s/like/such as Line 416 s/his/its Lines 452-457: This paragraph is incomprehensible. I tried to come up with suggested, but failed as I'm not sure what is being made. Line 461: A guess: s/so to have a more precise choice capability./to enable precise path selection Line 464: s/allowed/possible Section 17. The choice of which documents are informative and which are normative seems a bit random. I'm not too sure what a normative reference really means in this type of informational document in any case, but clearly the itu data plane documents should be normative if any references are identified as such. That's it, Lou
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call: g709-framework, g709-in… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call: g709-framework, g70… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-framewo… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-info-mo… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on ospf-g709v3 … Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on signaling-g7… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g7… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Gruman, Fred
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Gruman, Fred
- [CCAMP] R: 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-info… Daniele Ceccarelli
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] R: 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 答复: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] 答复: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpl… Lou Berger