[CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on signaling-g709v3 (editorial only)
Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net> Fri, 14 June 2013 22:15 UTC
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Date: Fri, 14 Jun 2013 18:15:21 -0400
From: Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net>
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Subject: [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on signaling-g709v3 (editorial only)
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Hi, The following are comments as part of my LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3-09. Note that I'm the document shepherd, see RFC 4858 for more information. As with other documents: - This and the other g709v3 documents should be consistent in usage of "TS granularity" versus "TSG". Sometimes one is used rather than the other, sometimes both are used in the same document (as is the case in this document). Please pick either one and update the four documents to be consistent. - Another and related comment is please define and use a consistent plural form of "TS". You initially define "TSs" to expand to "Time Slots", but then use "TS" as the plural form in many (but not all cases). I personally think "TSs" in all plural cases makes the most sense. - Also same comment for TSGs. - Please be consistent in usage of "Gbps". Some inconsistent examples: "1.25Gps", "1.25 Gbps" and "1.25 Gbps". (I personally prefer the final form, but any common form is fine.) Please see http://tools.ietf.org/idnits?url=http://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3-09.txt for line numbers used in this message. Line 47: s/updates/provides an alternative to Line 49: s/evolving OTN addressing ODUk multiplexing and new/full set of OTN Line 97: s/updates/provides an alternative to Line 132: s/[G.709-V3]/[G709-2012] Line 143: drop "needs to be updated because it" Line 330: "Here:" what? Do you mean "Where:"? Line 373: s/PATH/Path Line 379: s/MAY not/may not Lines 388/9: Tolerance no longer signaled. Suggest saying as much. Lines 581: s/ignored/ignored on receipt. Section 6. You should consistently use formal object names throughout this section, which can be found at http://www.iana.org/assignments/rsvp-parameters/rsvp-parameters.xml. e.g, "Label Set" --> "LABEL_SET Object". Line 591: s/MAY not/need not Line 611: As repeating whats in 3473, suggest lower case usage of 2119 terms. Line 624,625,626/7: s/TS type/TSG Line 879. How about adding to the beginning of the paragraph something along the lines of: This document is a modification to [RFC3473] and [RFC4328], and only differs in specific information communicated. As such, this document ... Lines 888-897 How about: Upon approval of this document, IANA will make the following assignments in the "Class Types or C-Types ‒ 9 FLOWSPEC" and "Class Types or C-Types ‒ 12 SENDER_TSPEC" section of the "RSVP Parameters" registry located at http://www.iana.org/assignments/rsvp-parameters/rsvp-parameters.xml Value Description Reference 7* OTN-TDM [This.I-D] (*) Suggested value Lines 905-909: Drop lines Line 911->928: to match registry, Replace with: Value Type Technology Reference ===== ====================== ========== 47 G.709 ODU-2.5G G.709 ODUk [RFC4328], (IANA to update Type field) [This.I-D] 56 SBCON/ESCON G.709 ODUk, [RFC4328], (IANA to update Type field) Lambda, Fiber [This.I-D] 59* Framed GFP G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 60* STM-1 G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 61* STM-4 G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 62* InfiniBand G.709 ODUflex [This.I-D] 63* SDI (Serial Digital Interface) G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 64* SDI/1.001 G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 65* DVB_ASI G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 66* G.709 ODU-1.25G G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 67* G.709 ODU-Any G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 68* Null Test G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 69* Random Test G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] 70* 64B/66B GFP-F Ethernet G.709 ODUk [This.I-D] Line 930: Add "Upon approval of this document, IANA will define a "OTN Line 931/932 Drop to end of sentence starting with "will be defined by ..." Line 956: add: New values are to be assigned via Standards Action as defined in [RFC5226]. Lines 1006-1023: Aren't these all normative references? That's it, Lou
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call: g709-framework, g709-in… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call: g709-framework, g70… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-framewo… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-info-mo… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on ospf-g709v3 … Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 2nd WG Last Call comments on signaling-g7… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g7… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Gruman, Fred
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Gruman, Fred
- [CCAMP] R: 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-info… Daniele Ceccarelli
- Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Lou Berger
- Re: [CCAMP] R: 2nd WG Last Call comments on g709-… Lou Berger
- [CCAMP] 答复: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-si… Fatai Zhang
- Re: [CCAMP] 答复: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpl… Lou Berger