Re: [core] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-core-new-block-08
Marco Tiloca <marco.tiloca@ri.se> Wed, 17 March 2021 17:37 UTC
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To: mohamed.boucadair@orange.com, "draft-ietf-core-new-block@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-core-new-block@ietf.org>
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From: Marco Tiloca <marco.tiloca@ri.se>
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Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/core/OJKFk3KP6L6fZkSILhKJQCGH_VU>
Subject: Re: [core] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-core-new-block-08
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Hi, Thanks for the quick update and the revised version! It looks good to me. I will proceed with the write-up and the publication request. Best, /Marco On 2021-03-17 07:26, mohamed.boucadair@orange.com wrote: > Hi Marco, > > Thank you for the review. > > An updated version that fixes almost all your points is online. Changes can be tracked at: https://eur02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Frfcdiff%3Furl2%3Ddraft-ietf-core-new-block-09&data=04%7C01%7Cmarco.tiloca%40ri.se%7Cc0df8e881566480a281608d8e90d916a%7C5a9809cf0bcb413a838a09ecc40cc9e8%7C0%7C0%7C637515591928458819%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0&sdata=r7DuNZdtQQHk2zdk1D6du7rnzhcUx1be74JOha%2BG4AI%3D&reserved=0. > > We didn't went with the following change proposal: > >> * s/It is not recommended that these options are used/It is NOT >> RECOMMENDED to use these options > because it is redundant with this text in Section 10: > > It is NOT RECOMMENDED that the NoSec security mode is > used if the Q-Block1 and Q-Block2 Options are to be used. > > Also, for this one: > > " > Refer to version -13 of draft-ietf-core-echo-request-tag > " > > I don't know why the latest version is not indicated as the entry is automatically populated. > > Cheers, > Jon & Med > >> -----Message d'origine----- >> De : core [mailto:core-bounces@ietf.org] De la part de Marco Tiloca >> Envoyé : mardi 16 mars 2021 17:43 >> À : draft-ietf-core-new-block@ietf.org >> Cc : core@ietf.org WG (core@ietf.org) <core@ietf.org> >> Objet : [core] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-core-new-block-08 >> >> Hello Med and Jon, >> >> Please, find below my comments from the shepherd review. >> >> Best, >> /Marco >> >> >> >> [General] >> >> * In the document header, replace "CORE" with "CoRE Working Group" >> >> >> [Abstract] >> >> * s/Block1 and Block2 Options/Block1 and Block2 Options defined in >> RFC 7959 >> >> Don't include an actual link to RFC 7959, only mention it as >> plaintext >> >> * s/interchanges as well/interchanges. Also, they support >> >> >> [Section 1] >> >> * In the sentence "These options operate ... has completed.", what's >> the subject for "can"? Also, "when the request" seems to relate only >> to the previous "ask". Proposed overall rephrasing: >> >> These options operate synchronously, i.e., each individual block >> has to be requested. A CoAP endpoint can only ask for (or send) the >> next block when the transfer of the previous block has completed. >> >> * s/Packet, and hence/Packet transmission rate, and hence >> >> >> [Section 1.1] >> >> * s/(NON) without requiring/(NON) messages without requiring >> >> * s/in place for NON/in place when NON messages are used >> >> * s/in a single CoAP packet/in a single CoAP message >> >> * Proposed rephrasing for "... the receiving CoAP endpoint informs >> the CoAP sender endpoint either successful receipt or reports on all >> blocks in the body that have not yet been received." >> >> ... the receiving CoAP endpoint either informs the CoAP sender >> endpoint of successful reception, or reports on all blocks in the >> body that have not yet been received. >> >> * s/If the new option is not supported/If the new options are not >> supported >> >> * I think that the paragraph "Q-Block1 and Q-Block2 Options are >> designed to work in particular with Non-confirmable requests and >> responses." fits better right before the paragraph "Using NON >> messages, the faster ..." >> >> >> [Section 1.3] >> >> * s/that can't use/that cannot use >> >> * s/It is not recommended that these options are used/It is NOT >> RECOMMENDED to use these options >> >> >> [Section 2] >> >> * You would expect the reader to be familiar also with RFC 7959 and >> RFC >> 8132. >> >> >> [Section 3.1] >> >> * s/properties of Q-Block1/properties of the Q-Block1 >> >> * s/or similar so that/or similar request so that >> >> * s/both a class E and a class U in terms of OSCORE/both of class E >> and >> class U for OSCORE >> >> >> [Section 3.3] >> >> * s/and the resource was created/and that the resource was created >> >> * s/and the resource was deleted/and that the resource was deleted >> >> * s/and the resource was updated/and that the resource was updated >> >> * s/and the appropriate representation/and that the appropriate >> representation >> >> * When discussing the 2.05 (Content) code, why is the exact Token to >> use >> in each notification left unspecified? Shouldn't it be about using >> the >> one from the last received payload also in this case? >> >> * When discussing the 2.31 (Continue) code, I believe the words "in >> the >> response" are a remnant and should be removed. I think it should >> read: >> >> This Response Code can be used to indicate that all of the blocks >> up >> to and including the Q-Block1 Option block NUM (all having the M bit >> set) have been successfully received. >> >> * Also about 2.31 (Continue): "... and MAX_PAYLOADS (Section 6.2) >> payloads have been received by the server." Since when? Since the >> acknowledgment of the previous MAX_PAYLOADS set? >> >> * On 4.00 (Bad Request), as non native speaker, I got a bit confused >> by >> the combination of "does not"+"both"+"and". Perhaps rephrase as: >> >> "... if the request includes neither a Request-Tag Option nor a >> Size1 Option but ..." >> >> * "If the server has not received all the payloads ... before sending >> a >> 4.08 (Request Entity Incomplete) response." >> >> This seems better fitting as a last paragraph in the block of >> text >> above about the 4.08 code. >> >> >> [Section 3.4] >> >> * "A client SHOULD only maintain a partial body (missing payloads) >> for >> up to NON_PARTIAL_TIMEOUT (Section 6.2) or as defined by the Max-Age >> Option ..." >> >> Doesn't this also apply to the retention of the Tokens used >> during >> the body transfer from the server to the client? I couldn't find a >> given >> guidance about the client releasing those Tokens, analogous to the >> one >> given in Section 3.1, but I guess it would fit here. >> >> * s/with a 2.03 (Valid Response)/with a 2.03 (Valid) Response >> >> * s/a triggered Observe/a triggered Observe notification >> >> >> [Section 6.2] >> >> * On NON_MAX_RETRANSMIT, "After this occurs, the local endpoint >> SHOULD >> consider the body stale and remove all references to it." >> >> It's better to remind what such references are, i.e. Tokens and >> Request-Tags on the client, as well as ETags on the server. >> >> >> [Section 7] >> >> * s/Q-Block2s/Q-Block2 responses >> >> >> [Section 9] >> >> * You can mention that the examples consider MAX_PAYLOADS = 10 and >> NON_MAX_RETRANSMIT = 4, just as per the default values in Table 3. >> >> >> [Section 9.1.3] >> >> * s/the token that was used in the last block number received >> payload/the token that was used in the last received payload >> >> >> [Section 9.3.3] >> >> * s/where there are some blocks are lost/where some blocks are lost >> >> * s/response is be the token/response is the token >> >> * s/last block number received payload/last received payload >> >> * In Figure 16, the final response with Message ID M:0xa7 should have >> ET=24. >> >> >> [Section 10] >> >> In all the following subsections, please replace "[RFCXXXX]" with >> "[This >> _Document]", as you do in Section 10.2. >> >> >> [Section 10.1] >> >> * Rename the section as "CoAP Option Numbers Registry". >> >> * Expand the first sentence as "... "CoAP Option Numbers" sub- >> registry >> [Options] defined in [RFC7252] within the "Constrained RESTful >> Environments (CoRE) Parameters" registry." >> >> * Any rationale behind suggesting 51 as option number for Q-Block2 ? >> The >> number is consistent with the intended option properties; however >> other >> consistent, smaller and unassigned values are 31, 43 and 47. >> >> >> [Section 10.2] >> >> * Rename the section as "Media Type Registrations". >> >> * Expand the first sentence as "... [IANA-MediaTypes]. This >> registration >> follows the procedures specified in [RFC6838]." , and add RFC6838 as >> normative reference. >> >> * Expand "Encoding considerations" as: " Must be encoded as a CBOR >> sequence [RFC8742], as defined in Section 4 of [RFCXXXX]. >> >> * In "Security considerations", add an actual link to the section. >> >> * In "Applications that use this media type", you should be more >> specific, e.g.: >> >> The type is used by applications relying on block-wise transfers, >> allowing a server to specify non-received blocks and request for >> their >> retransmission, as defined in Section 4 of [This_Document]. >> >> * It's fine to just have "Additional information: N/A". >> >> >> [Section 10.3] >> >> * Rename the section as "CoAP Content-Formats Registry". >> >> * s/the CoAP Content-Format ID/the following CoAP Content-Format >> >> * Expand the first sentence as "... "CoAP Content-Formats" sub- >> registry >> [Format], defined in [RFC7252], within the "Constrained RESTful >> Environments (CoRE) Parameters" registry." >> >> >> [Section 11] >> >> * Please swap this section with the previous one. Security >> considerations come before IANA considerations. >> >> >> [Section 12] >> >> * The "Acknowledgements" section should be moved down and be right >> before the final "Authors Addresses". Also, it must be a non-numbered >> section. >> >> >> [Section 13] >> >> * Refer to version -13 of draft-ietf-core-echo-request-tag >> >> >> [Appendix A.1] >> >> * s/the use Q-Block1 Option/the use of Q-Block1 Option >> >> * In Figure 18, the notation "--->?" should still be "--->X", like >> used >> also in a similar fashion later at the end of Figure 19. >> >> >> -- >> Marco Tiloca >> Ph.D., Senior Researcher >> >> RISE Research Institutes of Sweden >> Division ICT >> Isafjordsgatan 22 / Kistagången 16 >> SE-164 40 Kista (Sweden) >> >> Phone: +46 (0)70 60 46 501 >> https://eur02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ri.se%2F&data=04%7C01%7Cmarco.tiloca%40ri.se%7Cc0df8e881566480a281608d8e90d916a%7C5a9809cf0bcb413a838a09ecc40cc9e8%7C0%7C0%7C637515591928458819%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0&sdata=5Dt6Abd9NI%2Fxn02dCje6ESnpI4PRgidrxJdNzmpNVts%3D&reserved=0 >> > > _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ > > Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc > pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler > a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration, > Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci. > > This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged information that may be protected by law; > they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation. > If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and delete this message and its attachments. > As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable for messages that have been modified, changed or falsified. > Thank you. > -- Marco Tiloca Ph.D., Senior Researcher RISE Research Institutes of Sweden Division ICT Isafjordsgatan 22 / Kistagången 16 SE-164 40 Kista (Sweden) Phone: +46 (0)70 60 46 501 https://www.ri.se
- [core] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-core-new-blo… Marco Tiloca
- Re: [core] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-core-new… mohamed.boucadair
- Re: [core] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-core-new… Marco Tiloca