[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-fecframe-pseudo-cdp-04

"Miguel A. Garcia" <Miguel.A.Garcia@ericsson.com> Thu, 27 September 2012 07:18 UTC

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Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:18:03 +0200
From: "Miguel A. Garcia" <Miguel.A.Garcia@ericsson.com>
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To: kozat@docomolabs-usa.com, "\"Ali C. Begen (abegen)\" " <abegen@cisco.com>, Greg Shepherd <gjshep@gmail.com>, fecframe-chairs@tools.ietf.org, Martin Stiemerling <martin.stiemerling@neclab.eu>
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Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-fecframe-pseudo-cdp-04
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I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Please resolve these comments along with any other comments you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-fecframe-pseudo-cdp-04
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <Miguel.A.Garcia@ericsson.com>
Review Date: 2012-09-27
IETF LC End Date: 2012-10-01

Summary: The document is ready for publication as an Informational RFC, 
but has some nits that should be addressed

Major issues: none

Minor issues: none

Nits/editorial comments:

- About the SDP example in Section 3.1. The first paragraph reads:

    The SDP description below states that the source flow defined
    by the tuple {*,*,233.252.0.1,30000} is identified with FID=0 and the
    source flow defined by the tuple {*,*,233.252.0.2,30000} is
    identified with FID=1.


However, the example shows flows does not show any flow with any token 
named "FID". I don't know if the text is trying to refer to the "mid" 
attribute, in which case the values are S1 and S2, respectively. Or the 
text is trying to refer to the "id" parameter of the "fec-source-flow" 
attribute. The text should not leave this interpretation to the reader.

- Figure 7 and 8. Do the captions need to indicate that these are "for 
IPv4", for example, in Figure 7: "Example of a source packet for IPv4"

- idnits reveals that draft-ietf-fecframe-config-signaling ha sbeen 
published as RFC 6695.

/Miguel
-- 
Miguel A. Garcia
+34-91-339-3608
Ericsson Spain