[Gen-art] Re: Gen-art review of draft-ietf-v6ops-vlan-usage-00.txt

I certainly have no problem with that.

Elwyn

Fred Baker wrote:

> in my humble opinion, if the authors are OK with the edits, this  
> could go with the document to the RFC Editor.
>
> On Dec 13, 2005, at 3:20 PM, Elwyn Davies wrote:
>
>> I was selected as General Area Review Team reviewer for this  
>> specification
>> (for background on Gen-ART, please see
>> http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
>>
>> Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-vlan-usage-00
>> Intended Status: Informational
>> Shepherding AD: David Kessens
>> Proto shepherd: Fred Baker
>> Review Trigger: IESG Telechat, 12 December 2005
>>
>> Summary:
>> This document is essentially ready for Informational.
>>
>> There are a couple of editorial nits and I have suggested a small  
>> number of editorial improvements below.
>>
>> Editorial:
>> s1, para 6: s/provided a/provided by a/
>>
>> s1, last para: s/sites who/sites that/
>>
>> s2.2, para 1: I think that 'BSD-based' could be removed - I think  
>> the idea was that a standard PC rather than a dedicated router  could 
>> be used but that doesn't really matter here and if not you  ought to 
>> expand the acronym BSD.
>>
>> s2.2, para 1: The phrase '/64 size links' is a bit colloquial.  How  
>> about 'stub links using 64 bit subnet prefixes'
>>
>> s2.3, para 2: s/while IPv6/while the IPv6/
>>
>> s2.5: Might be good to remind people that the VLAN tag is 16 bits  so 
>> that this can work with a 'usual' maximum 48 bit site prefix
>>
>> App A, para 1: s/for BSD/using a computer running the FreeBSD  
>> variant of the Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) operating  system 
>> as a router/
>>
>> App A: In the configuration s/#Router advs/# Router advertisements/
>

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