[Gen-art] Re: Gen-art review of draft-ietf-v6ops-vlan-usage-00.txt

in my humble opinion, if the authors are OK with the edits, this  
could go with the document to the RFC Editor.

On Dec 13, 2005, at 3:20 PM, Elwyn Davies wrote:

> I was selected as General Area Review Team reviewer for this  
> specification
> (for background on Gen-ART, please see
> http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
>
> Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-vlan-usage-00
> Intended Status: Informational
> Shepherding AD: David Kessens
> Proto shepherd: Fred Baker
> Review Trigger: IESG Telechat, 12 December 2005
>
> Summary:
> This document is essentially ready for Informational.
>
> There are a couple of editorial nits and I have suggested a small  
> number of editorial improvements below.
>
> Editorial:
> s1, para 6: s/provided a/provided by a/
>
> s1, last para: s/sites who/sites that/
>
> s2.2, para 1: I think that 'BSD-based' could be removed - I think  
> the idea was that a standard PC rather than a dedicated router  
> could be used but that doesn't really matter here and if not you  
> ought to expand the acronym BSD.
>
> s2.2, para 1: The phrase '/64 size links' is a bit colloquial.  How  
> about 'stub links using 64 bit subnet prefixes'
>
> s2.3, para 2: s/while IPv6/while the IPv6/
>
> s2.5: Might be good to remind people that the VLAN tag is 16 bits  
> so that this can work with a 'usual' maximum 48 bit site prefix
>
> App A, para 1: s/for BSD/using a computer running the FreeBSD  
> variant of the Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) operating  
> system as a router/
>
> App A: In the configuration s/#Router advs/# Router advertisements/

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