Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Telechat review of draft-ietf-mile-iodef-xmlreg-01.txt

[Brian Trammell <[e-mail]>]

Hi, Suresh,

Thanks for the comment; yes, this one is a bit hard to parse (even for me, and I tend to write page-length sentences). I've tweaked your suggested text somewhat and applied to the current working copy of the -02 revision.

Best regards,

Brian

On Jun 5, 2012, at 5:53 PM, Suresh Krishnan wrote:

> I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
> reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
> http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
> 
> Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
> or AD before posting a new version of the draft.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-mile-iodef-xmlreg-01.txt
> Reviewer: Suresh Krishnan
> Review Date: 2012/06/07
> IESG Telechat date: 2012/06/05
> 
> Summary: This document is ready for publication as a Proposed Standard but I have a comment.
> 
> Minor
> =====
> 
> * Introduction:
> 
> The first sentence is too complex and very difficult to parse. Please consider breaking it up. I have proposed some changed text, but feel free to ignore if it changes the meaning of what you wanted to convey.
> 
> OLD:
> IODEF extensions via class extension through AdditionalData and
> RecordItem elements, as per section 5.2 of [RFC5070], generally
> register their namespaces and schemas with the IANA XML Namespace
> registry at http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/ns.html and
> the IANA XML Schema registry at
> http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/schema.html,
> respectively [RFC3688].
> 
> NEW:
> The classes of the IODEF data model can be extended by the use of
> AdditionalData and RecordItem elements, as per section 5.2 of [RFC5070].
> IODEF extensions that use such extended classes register their namespaces and schemas with the IANA XML Namespace
> registry at http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/ns.html and
> the IANA XML Schema registry at
> http://www.iana.org/assignments/xml-registry/schema.html,
> respectively [RFC3688].
> 
> 
> Thanks
> Suresh
> 
> 
> 
>