[Gen-art] RE: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-wb-03

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ben Campbell [mailto:ben@estacado.net]
> Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2007 4:07 PM
> To: General Area Review Team; Cullen Jennings; Desineni, Harikishan;
> Qiaobing.Xie@Motorola.com; csp@csperkins.org; roni.even@polycom.co.il;
> tom.taylor@rogers.com
> Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-wb-03
> 
> I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
> reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
> http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
> 
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-wb-03
> Reviewer: Ben Campbell
> Review Date: 2007-10-18
> IETF LC End Date: 2007-10-22
> 
> Summary:
> 
> This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that
> should be fixed before publication.
> 
> Comments:
> 
> I found the draft well written and easy to understand. I only had one
> substantive nit; the rest are editorial only:
> 
> Substantive:
> 
> Section 17, 11th example (I think):
> 
> "Example offer answer exchanges for interoperability between legacy
> (RFC XXXX) and updated EVRC-B(RFC 4788) implementations:"
> 
> Are the RFC references reversed? RFC XXX is the updated, not the
> legacy, version, right?

RFC 4788 is the legacy version. I'll fix this.

> 
> 
> Editorial:
> 
> Section 1:
> 
> Odd spacing between sentences. Sometime there are no spaces,
> sometimes there are two. I did not notice this elsewhere.
> 

OK

> Section 3, second paragraph (Personal pet-peeve; feel free to
ignore.):
> 
> Constructs like "...defined in [5]."  create extra work for the
> reader in the form of page flipping. " Things like "defined in <doc-
> name> [5]",  or "...defined in [mnemonic symbol] " are much more
> friendly.
> 
> Section 9, first paragraph:
> 
> s/"EVRCB, EVRCB0"/"EVRCB and EVRCB0"
OK

> 
> Section 10, title:
> 
> s/attributs/attributes

OK

About to submit version -04

Thanks,
Hari

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