Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

["Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <[e-mail]>]

Lars,
Even though you are very busy, please take a look at the revision and take
action on our Consumer-Facing Interface Data Model draft:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/

This draft is the last I2NSF draft to be standardized.

Thanks in advance.

Best Regards,
Paul


On Tue, May 9, 2023 at 5:27 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <
[e-mail]> wrote:

> Hi Lars,
> Let me remind you of your action on this draft:
>
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/
>
> We authors believe that we addressed your comments as much as possible.
>
> I hope this draft will move forward through your review and lifting up
> your block.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Best Regards,
> Paul
>
>
> On Fri, Apr 21, 2023 at 9:45 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <
> [e-mail]> wrote:
>
>> Hi Lars,
>> I sincerely appreciate your comment to improve our Consumer-Facing
>> Interface YANG Data Model.
>> I have addressed your comments with the following revision:
>>
>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-28
>>
>> Also, two more revisions have been posted to address other comments from
>> other ADs.
>>
>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-29
>>
>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-
>> <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-29>
>> 30
>>
>> I attach the revision letters.
>>
>> If you have further questions and comments, please let me know.
>>
>> Thanks.
>>
>> Best Regards,
>> Paul
>>
>>
>> On Wed, Apr 12, 2023 at 6:43 PM Lars Eggert via Datatracker <
>> [e-mail]> wrote:
>>
>>> Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
>>> draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: Discuss
>>>
>>> When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all
>>> email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this
>>> introductory paragraph, however.)
>>>
>>>
>>> Please refer to
>>> https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/
>>> for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions.
>>>
>>>
>>> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
>>>
>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> DISCUSS:
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27
>>>
>>> CC @larseggert
>>>
>>> Thanks to Roni Even for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
>>> (
>>> https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/PrQuAtGM5yKx1cs4Upt2cRel9IA
>>> ).
>>>
>>> ## Discuss
>>>
>>> ### Section 4.4, paragraph 3
>>> ```
>>>      URL:      This field represents the URL or hostname.
>>> ```
>>> Not a YANG expert, but I thought an inet:uri had to be an actual URI and
>>> hence
>>> cannot simply be a hostname string?
>>>
>>> ### Section 7.1, paragraph 7
>>> ```
>>>      3.  The "https://www.sns-example1.com/" and "https://www.sns-
>>>          example2.com/" URLs are labeled as "sns-websites".
>>>
>>>      4.  The "sip:[e-mail]", "sip:bob@203.0.113.15", and
>>>          "sip:[e-mail]" SIP identities are labeled as
>>> "malicious-
>>>          id".
>>> ```
>>> Use actual RFC2606 example domain names and RFC5737 example IP addresses.
>>> Also in the XML in Figure 19 of course.
>>>
>>> ### Section 10.1, paragraph 43
>>> ```
>>>      [MISPCORE] Dulaunoy, A. and A. Iklody, "MISP Core",
>>>                 commit 051e33b6711a660faf81733d825f1015aa0d301b, February
>>>                 2022, <https://github.com/MISP/misp-
>>>                 rfc/blob/051e33b6711a660faf81733d825f1015aa0d301b/misp-
>>>                 core-format/raw.md.html>.
>>>
>>>      [OPENIOC]  Gibb, W., "OpenIOC 1.1 DRAFT",
>>>                 commit d42a8777708e171f8bdd3c2c9f8590c83488285d, August
>>>                 2013, <https://github.com/fireeye/OpenIOC_1.1/blob/
>>>
>>> d42a8777708e171f8bdd3c2c9f8590c83488285d/schemas/ioc.xsd>.
>>> ```
>>> For discussion in the IESG. I don't think GitHub commits are appropriate
>>> normative references.
>>>
>>>
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> COMMENT:
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>> ## Comments
>>>
>>> ### DOWNREFs
>>>
>>> Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to `[OPENIOC]`. If so,
>>> the IESG
>>> needs to approve it.
>>>
>>> Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to `[MISPCORE]`. If so,
>>> the IESG
>>> needs to approve it.
>>>
>>> ### Inclusive language
>>>
>>> Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and
>>> more
>>> guidance:
>>>
>>>  * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`,
>>> `common`,
>>>    `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`,
>>>    `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`,
>>>    `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread`
>>>
>>> ## Nits
>>>
>>> All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may
>>> choose to
>>> address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
>>> automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so
>>> there
>>> will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know
>>> what you
>>> did with these suggestions.
>>>
>>> ### Typos
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 99
>>> ```
>>> -           for an IP address, such as IPv4 adress and IPv6 address.";
>>> +           for an IP address, such as IPv4 address and IPv6 address.";
>>> +                                             +
>>> ```
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 121
>>> ```
>>> -                   category such as SNS sites, game sites, ecommerce
>>> +                   category such as SNS sites, game sites, e-commerce
>>> +                                                            +
>>> ```
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 135
>>> ```
>>> -               gaming sites, ecommerce sites";
>>> +               gaming sites, e-commerce sites";
>>> +                              +
>>> ```
>>>
>>> ### URLs
>>>
>>> These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:
>>>
>>>  *
>>> http://www.iso.org/iso/home/standards/country_codes/iso-3166-1_decoding_table.htm
>>>  *
>>> http://www.iso.org/iso/home/standards/country_codes.htm#2012_iso3166-2
>>>
>>> ### Grammar/style
>>>
>>> #### Section 3.1, paragraph 1
>>> ```
>>> sf-capability-data-model]. Case (anti-virus): This field represents the
>>> conf
>>>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> This word is normally spelled as one.
>>>
>>> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 1
>>> ```
>>>  This information describes a caller id or receiver id in order to
>>> prevent an
>>>                                      ^^
>>> ```
>>> This abbreviation for "identification" is spelled all-uppercase.
>>>
>>> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 1
>>> ```
>>> on describes a caller id or receiver id in order to prevent any exploits
>>> (or
>>>                                      ^^
>>> ```
>>> This abbreviation for "identification" is spelled all-uppercase.
>>>
>>> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 3
>>> ```
>>> ow-rate-threshold? uint64 | +--rw anti-virus | | +--rw profile* string |
>>> | +-
>>>                                   ^^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> This word is normally spelled as one.
>>>
>>> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 9
>>> ```
>>> he Action object SHALL have following information: Primary-action: This
>>> fiel
>>>                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> The article "the" may be missing.
>>>
>>> #### Section 4, paragraph 3
>>> ```
>>> , e.g., 'Dublin', 'New York', and 'Sao Paulo'. Range-ipv4-address: This
>>> repre
>>>                                    ^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> Did you mean "São Paulo" (= city in Brazil)?
>>>
>>> #### Section 4.5, paragraph 1
>>> ```
>>> is field is not mandatory but recommended to be used as it is helpful
>>> for fut
>>>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> The verb "recommended" is used with the gerund form.
>>>
>>> #### Section 5.1, paragraph 4
>>> ```
>>> er-Facing Interface, this document provide examples for security policy
>>> rules
>>>                                    ^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> The verb "provide" is plural. Did you mean: "provides"? Did you use a
>>> verb
>>> instead of a noun?
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 68
>>> ```
>>> nclude 'Dublin', 'New York', and 'Sao Paulo'."; } uses ip-address-info{
>>> refin
>>>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> Did you mean "São Paulo" (= city in Brazil)?
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 94
>>> ```
>>> ck mitigation."; } } } container anti-virus { description "A condition
>>> for an
>>>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> This word is normally spelled as one.
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 94
>>> ```
>>> us { description "A condition for anti-virus"; leaf-list profile { type
>>> strin
>>>                                   ^^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> This word is normally spelled as one.
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 97
>>> ```
>>> hs are filenames/paths to be excluded and relative ones are interpreted
>>> as gl
>>>                                      ^^^^
>>> ```
>>> Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless
>>> they
>>> are closely connected and short).
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 114
>>> ```
>>> ed as a binary to accommodate any kind of a payload type such as HTTP,
>>> HTTPS,
>>>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> If "kind" is a classification term, "a" is not necessary. Use "kind of".
>>> (The
>>> phrases "kind of" and "sort of" are informal if they mean "to some
>>> extent".).
>>>
>>> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 114
>>> ```
>>> 5 bytes of the payload. This field accept values greater than or equal
>>> to th
>>>                                    ^^^^^^
>>> ```
>>> The verb "accept" is plural. Did you mean: "accepts"? Did you use a verb
>>> instead of a noun?
>>>
>>> ## Notes
>>>
>>> This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can
>>> use the
>>> [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
>>> individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the
>>> [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].
>>>
>>> [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
>>> [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
>>> [IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> I2nsf mailing list
>>> [e-mail]
>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/i2nsf
>>>
>>