Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)
"Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> Sat, 03 June 2023 00:46 UTC
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From: "Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 03 Jun 2023 09:45:19 +0900
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To: Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org>
Cc: Linda Dunbar <linda.dunbar@futurewei.com>, "Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>, Yoav Nir <ynir.ietf@gmail.com>, "i2nsf@ietf.org" <i2nsf@ietf.org>, skku-iotlab-members <skku-iotlab-members@googlegroups.com>
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Subject: Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)
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Hi Roman, Do you need more time to double-check the revision of the CFI draft? You can use the attached revision letters to explain how I have addressed the comments from the ADs in the IESG telechat. Thanks. Best Regards, Paul 2023년 5월 24일 (수) 오전 7:51, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>님이 작성: > Hi Roman, > I see. > > Thanks for your guidance and help throughout all the I2NSF YANG and > Applicability documents. > > Best Regards, > Paul > > 2023년 5월 23일 (화) 오후 10:14, Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org>님이 작성: > >> Hi Paul! >> >> >> >> Lars has updated his ballot to clear the DISCUSS on this document. >> >> >> >> The action now rests with me to review that all of the relevant COMMENTs >> from the IESG have been addressed. >> >> >> >> Roman >> >> >> >> *From:* Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> >> *Sent:* Tuesday, May 23, 2023 5:29 AM >> *To:* Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org> >> *Cc:* Linda Dunbar <linda.dunbar@futurewei.com>; Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>; Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org>; The IESG < >> iesg@ietf.org>; Yoav Nir <ynir.ietf@gmail.com>; i2nsf@ietf.org; >> skku-iotlab-members <skku-iotlab-members@googlegroups.com> >> *Subject:* Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on >> draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT) >> >> >> >> Hi Lars, >> >> I have addressed your further comments on the revision. >> >> Could you take a couple of minutes to take action on this revision >> according to your comments? >> >> *https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31 >> <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31>* >> >> >> >> Thanks. >> >> >> >> Best Regards, >> >> Paul >> >> >> >> >> >> 2023년 5월 17일 (수) 오후 11:06, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com >> >님이 작성: >> >> Lars, >> >> Could you take action on this revision according to your comments? >> >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31 >> >> >> >> Thanks in advance. >> >> >> >> Best Regards, >> >> Paul >> >> >> >> >> >> On Mon, May 15, 2023 at 10:40 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> >> Hi Lars, >> >> I have reflected your comments on the revision of I2NSF Consumer-Facing >> Interface YANG Data Model Draft: >> >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31 >> >> >> >> I put my answers below with the prefix of [PAUL]. >> >> >> >> On Mon, May 15, 2023 at 6:50 PM Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org> wrote: >> >> Hi, >> >> >> >> the text in Section 4.4 still talks about hostnames. >> >> => [PAUL] hostnames are removed for the URL-Group object. >> >> >> >> The example in Section 7 still doesn't use an RFC5737 example address. >> >> => This version uses only three IPv4 documentation address blocks such >> as >> >> 192.0.2.0/24, 198.51.100.0/24, and 203.0.113.0/24. >> >> If there are non-documentation addresses in this draft, please let >> me know. >> >> >> >> Thanks a lot for the good feedback. >> >> >> >> Best Regards, >> >> Paul >> >> >> >> >> >> Thanks, >> >> Lars >> >> >> >> On 11. May 2023, at 16:30, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> >> wrote: >> >> >> >> Lars, >> >> Even though you are very busy, please take a look at the revision and >> take action on our Consumer-Facing Interface Data Model draft: >> >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/ >> >> >> >> This draft is the last I2NSF draft to be standardized. >> >> >> >> Thanks in advance. >> >> >> >> Best Regards, >> >> Paul >> >> >> >> >> >> On Tue, May 9, 2023 at 5:27 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> >> Hi Lars, >> >> Let me remind you of your action on this draft: >> >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/ >> >> >> >> We authors believe that we addressed your comments as much as possible. >> >> >> >> I hope this draft will move forward through your review and lifting up >> your block. >> >> >> >> Thanks. >> >> >> >> Best Regards, >> >> Paul >> >> >> >> >> >> On Fri, Apr 21, 2023 at 9:45 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> >> Hi Lars, >> I sincerely appreciate your comment to improve our Consumer-Facing >> Interface YANG Data Model. >> >> I have addressed your comments with the following revision: >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-28 >> >> Also, two more revisions have been posted to address other comments from >> other ADs. >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-29 >> >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm- >> <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-29> >> 30 >> >> >> I attach the revision letters. >> >> If you have further questions and comments, please let me know. >> >> Thanks. >> >> Best Regards, >> Paul >> >> >> >> >> >> On Wed, Apr 12, 2023 at 6:43 PM Lars Eggert via Datatracker < >> noreply@ietf.org> wrote: >> >> Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for >> draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: Discuss >> >> When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all >> email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this >> introductory paragraph, however.) >> >> >> Please refer to >> https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ >> for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. >> >> >> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: >> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/ >> >> >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> DISCUSS: >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >> # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27 >> >> CC @larseggert >> >> Thanks to Roni Even for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review >> ( >> https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/PrQuAtGM5yKx1cs4Upt2cRel9IA >> ). >> >> ## Discuss >> >> ### Section 4.4, paragraph 3 >> ``` >> URL: This field represents the URL or hostname. >> ``` >> Not a YANG expert, but I thought an inet:uri had to be an actual URI and >> hence >> cannot simply be a hostname string? >> >> ### Section 7.1, paragraph 7 >> ``` >> 3. The "https://www.sns-example1.com/" and "https://www.sns- >> example2.com/" URLs are labeled as "sns-websites". >> >> 4. The "sip:alice@atlanta.com", "sip:bob@203.0.113.15", and >> "sip:carol@chicago.com" SIP identities are labeled as >> "malicious- >> id". >> ``` >> Use actual RFC2606 example domain names and RFC5737 example IP addresses. >> Also in the XML in Figure 19 of course. >> >> ### Section 10.1, paragraph 43 >> ``` >> [MISPCORE] Dulaunoy, A. and A. Iklody, "MISP Core", >> commit 051e33b6711a660faf81733d825f1015aa0d301b, February >> 2022, <https://github.com/MISP/misp- >> rfc/blob/051e33b6711a660faf81733d825f1015aa0d301b/misp- >> core-format/raw.md.html>. >> >> [OPENIOC] Gibb, W., "OpenIOC 1.1 DRAFT", >> commit d42a8777708e171f8bdd3c2c9f8590c83488285d, August >> 2013, <https://github.com/fireeye/OpenIOC_1.1/blob/ >> d42a8777708e171f8bdd3c2c9f8590c83488285d/schemas/ioc.xsd>. >> ``` >> For discussion in the IESG. I don't think GitHub commits are appropriate >> normative references. >> >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> COMMENT: >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >> ## Comments >> >> ### DOWNREFs >> >> Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to `[OPENIOC]`. If so, the >> IESG >> needs to approve it. >> >> Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to `[MISPCORE]`. If so, >> the IESG >> needs to approve it. >> >> ### Inclusive language >> >> Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and >> more >> guidance: >> >> * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, >> `common`, >> `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`, >> `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`, >> `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread` >> >> ## Nits >> >> All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may >> choose to >> address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by >> automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so >> there >> will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what >> you >> did with these suggestions. >> >> ### Typos >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 99 >> ``` >> - for an IP address, such as IPv4 adress and IPv6 address."; >> + for an IP address, such as IPv4 address and IPv6 address."; >> + + >> ``` >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 121 >> ``` >> - category such as SNS sites, game sites, ecommerce >> + category such as SNS sites, game sites, e-commerce >> + + >> ``` >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 135 >> ``` >> - gaming sites, ecommerce sites"; >> + gaming sites, e-commerce sites"; >> + + >> ``` >> >> ### URLs >> >> These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS: >> >> * >> http://www.iso.org/iso/home/standards/country_codes/iso-3166-1_decoding_table.htm >> * http://www.iso.org/iso/home/standards/country_codes.htm#2012_iso3166-2 >> >> ### Grammar/style >> >> #### Section 3.1, paragraph 1 >> ``` >> sf-capability-data-model]. Case (anti-virus): This field represents the >> conf >> ^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> This word is normally spelled as one. >> >> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 1 >> ``` >> This information describes a caller id or receiver id in order to >> prevent an >> ^^ >> ``` >> This abbreviation for "identification" is spelled all-uppercase. >> >> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 1 >> ``` >> on describes a caller id or receiver id in order to prevent any exploits >> (or >> ^^ >> ``` >> This abbreviation for "identification" is spelled all-uppercase. >> >> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 3 >> ``` >> ow-rate-threshold? uint64 | +--rw anti-virus | | +--rw profile* string | >> | +- >> ^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> This word is normally spelled as one. >> >> #### Section 3.2, paragraph 9 >> ``` >> he Action object SHALL have following information: Primary-action: This >> fiel >> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> The article "the" may be missing. >> >> #### Section 4, paragraph 3 >> ``` >> , e.g., 'Dublin', 'New York', and 'Sao Paulo'. Range-ipv4-address: This >> repre >> ^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> Did you mean "São Paulo" (= city in Brazil)? >> >> #### Section 4.5, paragraph 1 >> ``` >> is field is not mandatory but recommended to be used as it is helpful for >> fut >> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> The verb "recommended" is used with the gerund form. >> >> #### Section 5.1, paragraph 4 >> ``` >> er-Facing Interface, this document provide examples for security policy >> rules >> ^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> The verb "provide" is plural. Did you mean: "provides"? Did you use a verb >> instead of a noun? >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 68 >> ``` >> nclude 'Dublin', 'New York', and 'Sao Paulo'."; } uses ip-address-info{ >> refin >> ^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> Did you mean "São Paulo" (= city in Brazil)? >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 94 >> ``` >> ck mitigation."; } } } container anti-virus { description "A condition >> for an >> ^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> This word is normally spelled as one. >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 94 >> ``` >> us { description "A condition for anti-virus"; leaf-list profile { type >> strin >> ^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> This word is normally spelled as one. >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 97 >> ``` >> hs are filenames/paths to be excluded and relative ones are interpreted >> as gl >> ^^^^ >> ``` >> Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless >> they >> are closely connected and short). >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 114 >> ``` >> ed as a binary to accommodate any kind of a payload type such as HTTP, >> HTTPS, >> ^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> If "kind" is a classification term, "a" is not necessary. Use "kind of". >> (The >> phrases "kind of" and "sort of" are informal if they mean "to some >> extent".). >> >> #### Section 6.1, paragraph 114 >> ``` >> 5 bytes of the payload. This field accept values greater than or equal to >> th >> ^^^^^^ >> ``` >> The verb "accept" is plural. Did you mean: "accepts"? Did you use a verb >> instead of a noun? >> >> ## Notes >> >> This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can >> use the >> [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into >> individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the >> [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT]. >> >> [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md >> [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments >> [IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool >> >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> I2nsf mailing list >> I2nsf@ietf.org >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/i2nsf >> >> -- >> >> =========================== >> Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D. >> Associate Professor >> >> Director at SKKU Open Source Software Center >> >> Department of Computer Science and Engineering >> Sungkyunkwan University >> Office: +82-31-299-4957 >> Email: pauljeong@skku.edu, jaehoon.paul@gmail.com >> Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php >> <http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php> >> > -- > =========================== > Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D. > Associate Professor > Director at SKKU Open Source Software Center > Department of Computer Science and Engineering > Sungkyunkwan University > Office: +82-31-299-4957 > Email: pauljeong@skku.edu, jaehoon.paul@gmail.com > Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php > <http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php> >
- [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i2nsf… Lars Eggert via Datatracker
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Lars Eggert
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Roman Danyliw
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong