[Int-dir] INTDIR Review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-rfc6040update-shim-20

Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com> Wed, 22 November 2023 20:00 UTC

Return-Path: <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
X-Original-To: int-dir@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: int-dir@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 9BC32C402936; Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:00:19 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.854
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.854 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_EF=-0.1, FREEMAIL_ENVFROM_END_DIGIT=0.25, FREEMAIL_FROM=0.001, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_NONE=-0.0001, RCVD_IN_ZEN_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001, SPF_HELO_NONE=0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001, T_SCC_BODY_TEXT_LINE=-0.01, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001, URIBL_DBL_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001, URIBL_ZEN_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=gmail.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([50.223.129.194]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 3L5UFmiere1v; Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:00:18 -0800 (PST)
Received: from mail-ed1-x534.google.com (mail-ed1-x534.google.com [IPv6:2a00:1450:4864:20::534]) (using TLSv1.3 with cipher TLS_AES_128_GCM_SHA256 (128/128 bits) key-exchange X25519 server-signature RSA-PSS (2048 bits) server-digest SHA256) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 88BBDC14CEFC; Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:00:02 -0800 (PST)
Received: by mail-ed1-x534.google.com with SMTP id 4fb4d7f45d1cf-5441305cbd1so220012a12.2; Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:00:02 -0800 (PST)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=20230601; t=1700683200; x=1701288000; darn=ietf.org; h=to:subject:message-id:date:from:mime-version:from:to:cc:subject :date:message-id:reply-to; bh=V88QjY7rd1caCWaYBd5GYLvO7owb2PojCdBEjPM1lJs=; b=cMvYW5FIDXsTwHR6BxOPqVG4+GUniwQfYjFx0WZAC2RLFa7Bb66dn06xbH2sraSeDP PDB9oAyy1ZcKi4+eDUVeM/0HvFFICeCxZAdVS5zGQfkuZDc/iljGBBBEhMpfWQvZRnkJ GW7YrAudA6f7VQZmctr46TrIvarBGNg2jPavRRuP2KLKpYQhg6sdBOynQODe5e8iO3/B SwpR/k4khDX81WfTaJo1/AwsGvzRzxalqSTZ/SzLzfTMi1dBlrUbFzjzQx1bv3u/KU0R BQKytbqoEat/9GklMuX7Q6wK/HMmqR6IMfXG/Bj9S8KsLj7WpJtHQ9Cgj7Nn0PrY0suZ oJ/w==
X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=1e100.net; s=20230601; t=1700683200; x=1701288000; h=to:subject:message-id:date:from:mime-version:x-gm-message-state :from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id:reply-to; bh=V88QjY7rd1caCWaYBd5GYLvO7owb2PojCdBEjPM1lJs=; b=WMc9EIzr6l+ZIklJ51LXdPDWnRu5X58evSZpN5qZGzWznFfMuKaWMpgkC/ExqK46tb 3/VtLq0wVNBJO+nQJlG3QCKs6rGdPxxux3O5TwQJCvdbJ6uMsazmSJ70qJ4tmF9bAPtS vhvocF7IO2P8pX5AbDRFvvx5bdmXmbuaAkjisEsP17t0Wdem9OM7/i2yJLk08fgoWI7q 0uubbbvIp6U42cUWPZ68IFfycDH6/kt2/4dqmKGR3KQ0SgpEcguj9DWq9VF9O8io7Hjs AI2IfLii9tw/32/2+3zXhvKS/BOUWTx7AM5a6BWj+wRHg1FzMbTRuffLqECiEe3juWNl NiZA==
X-Gm-Message-State: AOJu0Yz+4JsVhCeGrBDymOe6FHXEiMuKZ+rb0w5bQdiRFL8dzwfetDY/ XPxIJPCfRwEBGXZj+G8oRLytA7DzvHeref7wUBjAtuMrqPs=
X-Google-Smtp-Source: AGHT+IFkb030cA1tO0VS8885D+/OQvontpUrLRH6ZacKP5cWzKChtb90+DM2e/BxidWS2BWcoRwYVZ20W/yC09TQJ8M=
X-Received: by 2002:aa7:c657:0:b0:547:b96:1172 with SMTP id z23-20020aa7c657000000b005470b961172mr2674878edr.28.1700683200236; Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:00:00 -0800 (PST)
MIME-Version: 1.0
From: Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2023 14:59:48 -0500
Message-ID: <CAF4+nEE-t=q5ZVwRZKsdy-kAatUEFVVteYN8_hdts0aAV0+g_w@mail.gmail.com>
To: int-dir@ietf.org, draft-ietf-tsvwg-rfc6040update-shim.all@ietf.org
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="000000000000069237060ac32a0d"
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/int-dir/7SKAK_9HFqAmGG_FQz4v8_yQClM>
Subject: [Int-dir] INTDIR Review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-rfc6040update-shim-20
X-BeenThere: int-dir@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.39
Precedence: list
List-Id: "This list is for discussion between the members of the Internet Area directorate." <int-dir.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/int-dir>, <mailto:int-dir-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/int-dir/>
List-Post: <mailto:int-dir@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:int-dir-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/int-dir>, <mailto:int-dir-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2023 20:00:19 -0000

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
<draft-ietf-tsvwg-rfc6040update-shim-20.txt>. These comments were written
primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors
and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any
other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on the
INT Directorate, see https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/ <
https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/>.

Based on my review, if I was on the IESG I would ballot this document as
YES.

This is a well written document that updates RFC 6040 and a number of other
RFCs to specify/clarify the propagation of Explicit Congestion
Notification (ECN) between inner and outer headers when separated by a shim

The following are minor issues (typos, misspelling, minor text
improvements) with the document:

- The usual way to indicate values to be assigned by IANA is to say "TBD"
(or, if there are multiple, TBD1, TBD2, etc.) I think that is what ZZ is
supposed to be so I suggest globally replacing "ZZ" with "TBD" and
eliminating the phrase in curly brackets in the first sentence of
6.1.1.2.1.  IANA and the RFC Editor know about TBDs and to replace them.

- The usual way to indicate a reference to the document containing that
reference is "[this document]". Suggest globally replacing "RFCXXXX" with
"[this document]" and eliminating the often repeated direction in curly
brackets to the RFC Editor to replace "RFCXXXX" with the document. The RFC
Editor knows about "[this document]" and to replace it.

- Although many RFC references are square bracket references, there are
many cases that just have "RFC" followed by a space and the number. Suggest
a global search for RFC followed by a space (or new line) and replace with
a square bracket reference.

- Suggest spelling out 3GPP on first use and/or providing a reference.
Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 2386 Panoramic Circle, Apopka, FL 32703 USA
 d3e3e3@gmail.com