[ippm] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-ippm-multipoint-alt-mark-07: (with COMMENT)

Barry Leiba via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Tue, 10 March 2020 04:51 UTC

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Subject: [ippm] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-ippm-multipoint-alt-mark-07: (with COMMENT)
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Barry Leiba has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-ippm-multipoint-alt-mark-07: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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I found this to be a somewhat difficult read, with some awkward wording. 
Because of time constraints I’ll mostly not comment specifically, but leave it
to the RPC.  My comments below on Section 1 are examples.

— Abstract —

   This document aims to generalize and expand this
   methodology

“This document generalizes and expands this methodology”

— Section 1 —
The “; so” in the first sentence doesn’t follow from what comes before.  It
seems that you’ve just glued together two unrelated sentences, and I would
unglue them: “point-to-point path.  The extension proposed”

How does the extension explain anything?  Isn’t it the document that does the
explaining, but then the extension that does the enabling?

I can’t parse the first sentence of the second paragraph, and I can’t figure
out what you’re trying to say.  Can you try re-writing it?

Please check to make sure you are consistent about capitalizing “Alternate
Marking” and “Multipoint Alternate Marking” through the document.  It looks
like you have it about half and half.