[Ips] AD review of draft-ietf-ips-iser

[Lars Eggert <[e-mail]>]

Hi,

please find the AD review of draft-ietf-ips-iser-05.txt below. In a  
nutshell: No major issues but a number of comments and nits.  
Depending on the amount of changes needed, an RFC Editor Note may be  
sufficient, or a new revision may be needed.

Lars

---<snip>---

   Has idnits (unused references, etc.) and boilerplate issues (some due
   to boilerplate changes during the too-long AD review - mea culpa).


INTRODUCTION, paragraph 12:
 >    Ko et. al.                Expires April  
2006                         1

   Nit: s/et./et/ everywhere


Section 7.3.12, paragraph 3:
 >    qualified with DataDescriptorReject which defines the Rejct  
buffer.

   Nit: s/Rejct/Reject/


Section 8.1.1.3, paragraph 3:
 >    CmdSN of the PDU sent by the intiator in this category is x,  
the PDU

   Nit: s/intiator/initiator/


Section 8.1.2, paragraph 7:
 >    (Implementatin note:  SCSI task timeout and recovery can be a

   Nit: s/Implementatin/Implementation/


Section 9.1, paragraph 4:
 >         The Opcode field identifies the type of iSER Messages:

   Are there IANA actions required for these type codes? IANA section is
   empty.


Section 13.2, paragraph 2:
 >    [DA] M. Chadalapaka et al., "Datamover Architecture for iSCSI",  
IETF
 >        Internet-draft, draft-ietf-ips-da-02.txt (work in progress),


   Not normative?

 >    [RDDPSEC] J. Pinkerton et al., "DDP/RDMAP Security", IETF Internet
 >        Draft draft-ietf-rddp-security-07.txt (work in progress),  
April
 >        2005

   Not normative?

-- 
Lars Eggert                                     NEC Network Laboratories

Hi,

please find the AD review of draft-ietf-ips-iser-05.txt below. In a  
nutshell: No major issues but a number of comments and nits.  
Depending on the amount of changes needed, an RFC Editor Note may be  
sufficient, or a new revision may be needed.

Lars

---<snip>---

   Has idnits (unused references, etc.) and boilerplate issues (some due
   to boilerplate changes during the too-long AD review - mea culpa).


INTRODUCTION, paragraph 12:
 >    Ko et. al.                Expires April  
2006                         1

   Nit: s/et./et/ everywhere


Section 7.3.12, paragraph 3:
 >    qualified with DataDescriptorReject which defines the Rejct  
buffer.

   Nit: s/Rejct/Reject/


Section 8.1.1.3, paragraph 3:
 >    CmdSN of the PDU sent by the intiator in this category is x,  
the PDU

   Nit: s/intiator/initiator/


Section 8.1.2, paragraph 7:
 >    (Implementatin note:  SCSI task timeout and recovery can be a

   Nit: s/Implementatin/Implementation/


Section 9.1, paragraph 4:
 >         The Opcode field identifies the type of iSER Messages:

   Are there IANA actions required for these type codes? IANA section is
   empty.


Section 13.2, paragraph 2:
 >    [DA] M. Chadalapaka et al., "Datamover Architecture for iSCSI",  
IETF
 >        Internet-draft, draft-ietf-ips-da-02.txt (work in progress),


   Not normative?

 >    [RDDPSEC] J. Pinkerton et al., "DDP/RDMAP Security", IETF Internet
 >        Draft draft-ietf-rddp-security-07.txt (work in progress),  
April
 >        2005

   Not normative?

-- 
Lars Eggert                                     NEC Network Laboratories

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