[Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: (with COMMENT)

Ben Campbell <ben@nostrum.com> Thu, 26 October 2017 01:26 UTC

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From: Ben Campbell <ben@nostrum.com>
To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
Cc: draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam@ietf.org, Ron Bonica <rbonica@juniper.net>, Carlos Pignataro <cpignata@cisco.com>, lime-chairs@ietf.org, cpignata@cisco.com, lime@ietf.org
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Message-ID: <150898118424.24092.2532947954971145433.idtracker@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2017 18:26:24 -0700
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/lime/1DLOotbHKW9cR0vaNCb6gobzTYQ>
Subject: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: (with COMMENT)

Ben Campbell has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: No Objection

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The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
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COMMENT:
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I have some mostly editorial comments:

- I agree with Adam's comments about readability. Please also consider an
editing pass for grammar--I noted some missing articles, plural disagreement,
etc.

- Please check IDNits. It has some complaints about references. I will leave it
to the authors to determine if they are real.

-1, paragraph starting with "The different OAM tools...": The phrase "After the
connection is established" is missing an article.

-2.2: "RPC operation - A specific Remote Procedure Call.": That seems like a
circular definition.

-3, first paragraph: 'The model augments "/networks/network/node" path...':
missing article.

-3.1, 6th paragraph: "... these parameters are not explicit configured":
s/explicit/explicitly

-5.2.1.2, 2nd paragraph: s/user/users

-6, third paragraph: " writable/creatable/deletable": Please don't use "/" as a
substitute for conjunctions.

[Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-… Ben Campbell
Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-i… Qin Wu
Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-i… Ben Campbell
Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-i… Qin Wu