Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: (with COMMENT)

Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com> Thu, 26 October 2017 04:48 UTC

From: Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com>
To: Ben Campbell <ben@nostrum.com>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
CC: "draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam@ietf.org>, Ron Bonica <rbonica@juniper.net>, Carlos Pignataro <cpignata@cisco.com>, "lime-chairs@ietf.org" <lime-chairs@ietf.org>, "cpignata@cisco.com" <cpignata@cisco.com>, "lime@ietf.org" <lime@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: (with COMMENT)
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Date: Thu, 26 Oct 2017 04:48:26 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: (with COMMENT)
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Thanks Ben.
-----邮件原件-----
发件人: Ben Campbell [mailto:ben@nostrum.com]
发送时间: 2017年10月26日 9:26
收件人: The IESG
抄送: draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam@ietf.org; Ron Bonica; Carlos Pignataro; lime-chairs@ietf.org; cpignata@cisco.com; lime@ietf.org
主题: Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: (with COMMENT)

Ben Campbell has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-14: No Objection

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The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
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COMMENT:
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I have some mostly editorial comments:

- I agree with Adam's comments about readability. Please also consider an editing pass for grammar--I noted some missing articles, plural disagreement, etc.

[Qin]: Will fix them. Thanks.

- Please check IDNits. It has some complaints about references. I will leave it to the authors to determine if they are real.

[Qin]: will investigate, thanks.

-1, paragraph starting with "The different OAM tools...": The phrase "After the connection is established" is missing an article.

[Qin]: Good catch, will fix this.
-2.2: "RPC operation - A specific Remote Procedure Call.": That seems like a circular definition.

[Qin]: This follows definition in terminology section of RFC7950, we can add reference to RFC7950 for this.

-3, first paragraph: 'The model augments "/networks/network/node" path...':
missing article.

[Qin]: Okay.

-3.1, 6th paragraph: "... these parameters are not explicit configured":
s/explicit/explicitly

[Qin]:Okay, will fix this.

-5.2.1.2, 2nd paragraph: s/user/users

[Qin]: Okay.

-6, third paragraph: " writable/creatable/deletable": Please don't use "/" as a substitute for conjunctions.

[Qin]: This follows template defined in YANG security guideline
https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-guidelines
But if you like, we can change this.

[Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-… Ben Campbell
Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-i… Qin Wu
Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-i… Ben Campbell
Re: [Lime] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-i… Qin Wu