[Lwip] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-lwig-minimal-esp-08: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Tue, 05 April 2022 14:25 UTC

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Subject: [Lwip] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-lwig-minimal-esp-08: (with COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-lwig-minimal-esp-08: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Section 2. , paragraph 6, comment:
>    [RFC4303] does not require the SPI to be randomly generated over 32
>    bits.  However, this is the recommended way to generate SPIs as it
>    provides some privacy benefits and avoids, for example, correlation
>    between ESP communications.  To randomly generate a 32 bit SPI, the
>    node generates a random 32 bit valueand checks it does not fall in
>    the 0-255 range.  If the SPI has an acceptable value, it is used to
>    index the inbound session, otherwise the SPI is re-generated until an
>    acceptable value is found.

Wouldn't it be simpler to compute a 24-bit random value and left-shift it by
eight? Or left-shift the 32-bit value; both remove the need to check.

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term "dummy"; alternatives might be "placeholder", "sample", "stand-in",
   "substitute".

Thanks to Roni Even for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/W3R6WdPRLgAuvMIJYWnld5uaCmU).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NIT
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 2. , paragraph 6, nit:
-    node generates a random 32 bit valueand checks it does not fall in
+    node generates a random 32 bit value and checks it does not fall in
+                                        +

Section 3. , paragraph 6, nit:
-    are no requirements to implement an anti-replay protection mechanism
-    implemented by IPsec.  Similarly to the SN the implementation of anti
-  -----------------------
+    are no requirements to implement an anti-replay protection mechanism.
+                                                                        +

Section 4. , paragraph 4, nit:
-    would typically be the case when the Data Payload is of fix size.
+    would typically be the case when the Data Payload is of fixed size.
+                                                               ++

Document still refers to the "Simplified BSD License", which was corrected in
the TLP on September 21, 2021. It should instead refer to the "Revised BSD
License".

Uncited references: [RFC2119] and [RFC8174].

Section 1. , paragraph 1, nit:
> igure 1 describes an ESP Packet. Currently ESP is implemented in the kernel o
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Currently".

Section 1. , paragraph 2, nit:
> y to fit multiple purpose usage of these OS. However, completeness of the IPs
>                                    ^^^^^^^^
The plural demonstrative "these" does not agree with the singular noun "OS".

Section 1. , paragraph 2, nit:
>  as well as multipurpose scope of these OS is often performed at the expense
>                                   ^^^^^^^^
The plural demonstrative "these" does not agree with the singular noun "OS".

Section 1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> or constrained devices remains inter-operable with the standard ESP implemen
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

Section 2. , paragraph 2, nit:
> ommunications, this document recommends to index SA with the SPI only. The i
>                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The verb "recommends" is used with the gerund form.

Section 2.1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> g the key is being used. For example, a SPI might be encoded with the Securit
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 2.1. , paragraph 4, nit:
> h privacy and security concerns. Typically some specific values or subset of
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Typically".

Section 2.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> ed information by ESP itself, these information may also be leaked otherwise
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The plural demonstrative "these" does not agree with the singular noun
"information".

Section 2.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> affic pattern before determining non random SPI can be used. Typically, temp
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.

Section 2.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> s, used outdoors may not leak privacy sensitive information and most of its t
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 2.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> opened) may leak truly little privacy sensitive information outside the local
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 2.1. , paragraph 6, nit:
>  packet. The SN is set by the sender so the receiver can implement anti-repl
>                                     ^^^
Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are
closely connected and short).

Section 3. , paragraph 6, nit:
> ability to spoof and replay an acknowledgement is of limited interest and mig
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Do not mix variants of the same word ("acknowledgement" and "acknowledgment")
within a single text.

Section 3. , paragraph 6, nit:
> y discarding any packets that present a SN whose value is too much in the pa
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3. , paragraph 6, nit:
> s based on the largest possible value a SN can take over a session. When SN
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3. , paragraph 7, nit:
> ned devices, this document recommends to implement some rekey mechanisms (see
>                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The verb "recommends" is used with the gerund form.

Section 4. , paragraph 5, nit:
> ns - may also reveal important privacy oriented information. Some constrained
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 4. , paragraph 5, nit:
>  a sufficient tradeoff between the require energy to send additional payload
>                                    ^^^^^^^
The word "require" is not a noun. Did you mean "requirement"?

Section 5. , paragraph 4, nit:
> on the cryptographic suite used. Currently [RFC8221] only recommends cryptog
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Currently".

Section 5. , paragraph 4, nit:
> ent with a size different from zero. It length is defined by the security rec
>                                      ^^
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please
verify.

Section 7. , paragraph 2, nit:
> oss reboots, this document recommends to consider algorithms that are nonce
>                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The verb "recommends" is used with the gerund form.

Section 7. , paragraph 5, nit:
> of the encryption algorithm transform or the energy associated with it are es
>                                      ^^^
Use a comma before "or" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are
closely connected and short).

Section 7. , paragraph 10, nit:
> eration must follow [RFC4086]. In addition [SP-800-90A-Rev-1] provides approp
>                                   ^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "addition".

Section 9. , paragraph 2, nit:
> In particular Scott Fluhrer suggested to include the rekey index in the SPI.
>                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The verb "suggested" is used with the gerund form.