Re: [quicwg/base-drafts] Fix two instances of "between when" in the transport draft (#3379)

Mike Bishop <notifications@github.com> Wed, 22 January 2020 17:23 UTC

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Subject: Re: [quicwg/base-drafts] Fix two instances of "between when" in the transport draft (#3379)
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MikeBishop approved this pull request.

Not critical, perhaps, but I agree that this is less awkward.

> @@ -1722,12 +1722,12 @@ one.  The client MUST NOT use the token provided in a Retry for future
 connections. Servers MAY discard any Initial packet that does not carry the
 expected token.
 
-Unlike the token that is created for a Retry packet, there might be some time
-between when the token is created and when the token is subsequently used.
-Thus, a token SHOULD have an expiration time, which could be either an explicit
-expiration time or an issued timestamp that can be used to dynamically calculate
-the expiration time.  A server can store the expiration time or include it in an
-encrypted form in the token.
+Unlike the token that is created for a Retry packet, which is used immediatly,

```suggestion
Unlike the token that is created for a Retry packet, which is used immediately,
```
Might need rewrapping.

> @@ -3250,15 +3250,15 @@ received packets in preference to packets received in the past.
 
 ### Measuring and Reporting Host Delay {#host-delay}
 
-An endpoint measures the delays intentionally introduced between when the
-packet with the largest packet number is received and an acknowledgment is sent.
-The endpoint encodes this delay in the Ack Delay field of an ACK frame
-(see {{frame-ack}}). This allows the receiver of the ACK to adjust for any
-intentional delays, which is important for getting a better estimate of the path
-RTT when acknowledgments are delayed. A packet might be held in the OS kernel or
-elsewhere on the host before being processed.  An endpoint MUST NOT include
-delays that it does not control when populating the Ack Delay field in an
-ACK frame.
+An endpoint measures the delays introduced intentionally between the time

While I concede that "intentionally" would typically follow the verb it modifies, I prefer the old ordering because it avoids confusion about whether the delay was "introduced intentionally" or if the delay introduced is "intentionally between [times]".

```suggestion
An endpoint measures the delays intentionally introduced between the time
```

The rest of the rewording is independent of this change, and an improvement in my opinion.

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