Re: [Softwires] Work Group Last call for draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-07 - Ends 9th Nov

[Ian Farrer <[e-mail]>]

Hi,

Here’s my review of v07 of the draft.

Cheers,
Ian

Overall comments:
o1. There is a lot of duplication of text between the descriptions given in Section 2 and the YANG model’s description fields. This makes the document less readable, and I don’t see it adds anything.
As much of the text in section 2 is taken directly from the RFCs that originally defined the functions, it would be better to remove the section 2 descriptions where not necessary (i.e. only described/enumerate the important nodes in reference to how they are used/relate to other models, and have pointers to the original RFC/section where more detail is necessary).
Keeping the more verbose descriptions in the model make sense as these are the ones that most users will actually see once published.


Model comments:
m1. v6-v4-dscp-preservation - deals with whether the DCSP of the incoming packet will be copied to the header of the outgoing packet or not.
Would this be better implemented as a feature in the model, as this would allow the use in the mapping entry to be made conditional (with if-feature) under the mapping-entry augment. 

m2. Recommendation 3 of RFC7785 describes a rate limit for how often a source address can be migrated. The model doesn’t give any way of configuring this. Also, if there is a rate limit on the source address change rate, a timestamp as to when the b4-ipv6-address was updated would be useful.


Gramatical Comments:
Section 1
g1. s/and adopts Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA)./and adopts the Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA)./


Section 2
g2. s/ The tunnel MTU to avoid fragmentation/The tunnel MTU, used to avoid fragmentation/

g3. The bullet point starting ‘The IPv4 DSCP marking of the IPv4 packet’ finishes with the following sentence
' This information can be used by the AFTR fro enforcing the poi’. Unsure what this is meant to say.


Section 7
g4. s/eraly ynagdoctors/early yangdoctors/

g5. s/comments/comments./



> On 26. Oct 2017, at 09:09, Ian Farrer <[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> Hi,
> 
> The authors believe that draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-07 is now ready for advancement. This email marks the start of a 2 week work group last call for the draft.
> 
> Please send your comments, either for or against, to the softwire WG mailing list. The WGLC will end on Nov. 9, 2017.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Yong & Ian
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