Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9452 <draft-ietf-sfc-ioam-nsh-13> for your review

[Sarah Tarrant <[e-mail]>]

Greetings,

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Thank you.
RFC Editor/st

> On Jul 31, 2023, at 9:58 PM, [e-mail] wrote:
> 
> Authors,
> 
> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) 
> the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> 
> 1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been updated 
> as follows ("In-situ" to "In Situ"):
> 
> Original:
> Network Service Header (NSH) Encapsulation for In-situ OAM (IOAM) Data
> 
> Current:
> Network Service Header (NSH) Encapsulation for In Situ OAM (IOAM) Data
> -->
> 
> 
> 2) <!-- [rfced] We are having trouble understanding "by means of 
> configuration."  Does the suggested text convey the intended meaning?  
> Also, does "encapsulating/decapsulating" mean "encapsulating and 
> decapsulating" or "encapsulating or decapsulating"?
> 
> Original:
>   In an administrative domain where IOAM is used,
>   insertion of the IOAM header in NSH is enabled at the NSH tunnel
>   endpoints, which also serve as IOAM encapsulating/decapsulating nodes
>   by means of configuration.
> 
> Perhaps: 
>   In an administrative domain where IOAM is used,
>   insertion of the IOAM header in NSH is enabled at the NSH tunnel
>   endpoints, which are also configured to serve as IOAM encapsulating and 
>   decapsulating nodes. 
> -->
> 
> 
> 3) <!-- [rfced] This text appears in and points to Section 3.  May we 
> delete "Section 3"?  Please review. 
> 
> Original:
>   The operator MUST ensure that SFC-aware
>   nodes along the Service Function Path support IOAM, otherwise packets
>   might be dropped (see Section 3 further below, as well as [RFC8300]
>   Section 2.2).
> 
> Perhaps:
>   The operator MUST ensure that SFC-aware
>   nodes along the Service Function Path support IOAM; otherwise, packets
>   might be dropped (see more below, as well as Section 2.2 of [RFC8300]).
> -->
> 
> 
> 4) <!-- [rfced] Would it be helpful to expand MD for the reader?  Perhaps it could be added to list of abbreviations introduced in Section 2?
> 
> -->
> 
> 
> 5) <!-- [rfced] For readability, we have updated the text as follows.  Please let us know if any corrections are needed. 
> 
> Original:
>   Per Section 2.2 of [RFC8300], packets with Next Protocol values not
>   supported SHOULD be silently dropped by default. 
> 
> Current:
>   Per Section 2.2 of [RFC8300], packets with unsupported Next Protocol values 
>   SHOULD be silently dropped by default. 
> -->
> 
> 
> 6) <!-- [rfced] For readability, may we update the text as follows?
> 
> Original:
>   IOAM is considered a "per domain" feature, where the operator decides
>   on leveraging and configuring IOAM according to the operator's needs.
> 
> Suggested: 
>   IOAM is considered a "per domain" feature, where the operator decides
>   how to leverage and configure IOAM according to the operator's needs.
> -->
> 
> 
> 7) <!-- [rfced] For clarity, may we update the text as follows?  Please let us know if any corrections are needed.  
> 
> Original:
>   Hardware and software friendly implementation: Hardware forwarders
>   benefit from an encapsulation that minimizes iterative look-ups of
>   fields within the packet: Any operation which looks up the value of a
>   field within the packet, based on which another lookup is performed,
>   consumes additional gates and time in an implementation - both of
>   which are desired to be kept to a minimum.
> 
> Current: 
>   Hardware- and software-friendly implementation: Hardware forwarders
>   benefit from an encapsulation that minimizes iterative lookups of
>   fields within the packet. Any operation that looks up the value of a
>   field within the packet, based on which another lookup is performed,
>   consumes additional gates and time in an implementation, both of
>   which should be kept to a minimum.
> -->
> 
> 
> 8) <!-- [rfced] Terminology
> 
> a) We note that Figure 1 contains “IOAM Option and Optional Data Space”, 
> while the text defines “IOAM Option and Data Space”. Please review and let 
> us know if these should be consistent. 
> 
> 
> b) These terms may be used inconsistently.  Please review and let us know 
> if the forms on the right (on the right of the arrow) should be used 
> consistently, or if any other updates are needed. 
> 
> IOAM-Data-fields & IOAM data fields -> IOAM-Data-Fields
> IOAM-Option-Types -> IOAM Option-Type
> -->
> 
> 
> 9) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the 
> online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> and let us know if any changes are needed.
> 
> Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should 
> still be reviewed as a best practice.
> -->
> 
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> RFC Editor
> 
> 
> On Jul 31, 2023, at 7:53 PM, [e-mail] wrote:
> 
> *****IMPORTANT*****
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> Updated 2023/07/31
> 
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> Files 
> -----
> 
> The files are available here:
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452.xml
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452.html
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452.pdf
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452.txt
> 
> Diff file of the text:
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452-diff.html
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452-rfcdiff.html (side by side)
> 
> Diff of the XML: 
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452-xmldiff1.html
> 
> The following files are provided to facilitate creation of your own 
> diff files of the XML.  
> 
> Initial XMLv3 created using XMLv2 as input:
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452.original.v2v3.xml 
> 
> XMLv3 file that is a best effort to capture v3-related format updates 
> only: 
>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9452.form.xml
> 
> 
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> Thank you for your cooperation,
> 
> RFC Editor
> 
> --------------------------------------
> RFC9452 (draft-ietf-sfc-ioam-nsh-13)
> 
> Title            : Network Service Header (NSH) Encapsulation for In-situ OAM (IOAM) Data
> Author(s)        : F. Brockners, Ed., S. Bhandari, Ed.
> WG Chair(s)      : Joel M. Halpern, Jim Guichard
> 
> Area Director(s) : Alvaro Retana, John Scudder, Andrew Alston
> 
>