Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-ipwave-vehicular-networking-30> for your review
"Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> Wed, 01 March 2023 16:46 UTC
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From: "Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 02 Mar 2023 01:45:53 +0900
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To: Alice Russo <arusso@amsl.com>
Cc: Chris Shen <shenyiwen7@gmail.com>, Erik Kline <ek.ietf@gmail.com>, Tae Oh <tomohmail@gmail.com>, auth48archive@rfc-editor.org, cjbc@it.uc3m.es, ipwave-ads@ietf.org, ipwave-chairs@ietf.org, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org
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Subject: Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-ipwave-vehicular-networking-30> for your review
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Alice, There is one more fix as follows: ----- - OLD: when only a few meters off the ground - NEW: when only a few hundred meters off the ground ----- I attach the revised xml file. Thanks. Best Regards, Paul On Wed, Mar 1, 2023 at 11:35 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: > Hi Alice, > Here is my proofread and corrected xml file along with files of > other types. > I have corrected the contents of RFC9365 with this xml file. > Please go ahead for the publication of RFC9365 with this file. > > Thanks for your sincere help and support. > > Best Regards, > Paul > > > On Sat, Feb 25, 2023 at 12:07 AM Alice Russo <arusso@amsl.com> wrote: > >> Paul, >> >> Thank you for your mail. Please know that you have as much time as you >> need to complete the review of the document. >> >> Thank you. >> RFC Editor/ar >> >> > On Feb 24, 2023, at 7:55 AM, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> > >> > Hi Alice, >> > I need more time to proofread the revision. >> > Could you allow me more time to let me proofread it >> > by the midnight on February 25 in KST? >> > >> > I was busy with university work and event today. >> > >> > Thanks. >> > >> > Best Regards, >> > Paul >> > >> > 2023년 2월 24일 (금) 오전 1:39, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>님이 작성: >> > Hi Alice, >> > Thanks for your quick update. >> > I answer your comments inline below with the prefix "=> [PAUL]". >> > >> > On Thu, Feb 23, 2023 at 1:49 PM Alice Russo <arusso@amsl.com> wrote: >> > Paul, >> > >> > Thank you for your reply. We have updated the document accordingly; >> please see the follow-up question below. The revised files are here (please >> refresh): >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.html >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.txt >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.pdf >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.xml >> > >> > This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D: >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-diff.html >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-rfcdiff.html (side by >> side) >> > >> > This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far: >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-auth48diff.html >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-auth48rfcdiff.html (side >> by side) >> > >> > >> > For #14, regarding this sentence in Section 5, may it be updated as >> below for readability? >> > >> > > Original: >> > > This relative speed leads the half of the link lifetime between the >> > > vehicle and the IP-RSU. >> > >> > >> > Your reply: >> > This relative speed leads to the half of the lifetime of the >> wireless link >> > between the vehicle and the IP-RSU. >> > >> > Perhaps: >> > This relative speed causes the lifetime of the wireless link >> > between the vehicle and the IP-RSU to be halved. >> > >> > => [PAUL] The above Perhaps looks good to me. >> > >> > FYI, regarding the requested updates for the references: >> > - Using the organization element is the preferred syntax when an >> organization authored a document, so those changes have not been made. >> > - Several updates to add volume and issue numbers were already made in >> the edited document. >> > - A "web access date" is not included in references within RFCs. >> > >> > => [PAUL] The above policy looks good to me, but there are many places >> to fix in References: >> > Could you update the references with the following ones? >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [DFC] >> > Jeong, J., Shen, Y., Kim, S., Choe, D., Lee, K., and Y. Kim, "DFC: >> Device-free human counting through WiFi fine-grained subcarrier >> information", IET Communications, Volume 15, Issue 3, pp. 337-350, DOI >> 10.1049/cmu2.12043, January 2021, <https://doi.org/10.1049/cmu2.12043>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [DFC] >> > Jeong, J., Shen, Y., Kim, S., Choe, D., Lee, K., and Y. Kim, "DFC: >> Device-free human counting through WiFi fine-grained subcarrier >> information", IET Communications, Volume 15, Issue 3, pp. 337-350, DOI >> 10.1049/cmu2.12043, February 2021, <https://doi.org/10.1049/cmu2.12043>. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [FirstNet] >> > "FirstNet Authority: The future of public safety communications", < >> https://www.firstnet.gov/>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [FirstNet] >> > FirstNet Authority, "The future of public safety communications", < >> https://www.firstnet.gov/>. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [OMNI] >> > Templin, F. L., Ed., "Transmission of IP Packets over Overlay Multilink >> Network (OMNI) Interfaces", Work in Progress, Internet-Draft, >> draft-templin-intarea-omni-11, 10 January 2023, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-templin-intarea-omni-11>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [OMNI] >> > Templin, F. L., Ed., "Transmission of IP Packets over Overlay Multilink >> Network (OMNI) Interfaces", Work in Progress, Internet-Draft, >> draft-templin-intarea-omni-25, 15 February 2023, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-templin-intarea-omni-25>. >> > --- >> > - OLD: >> > [PARCELS] >> > Templin, F. L., Ed., "IP Parcels", Work in Progress, Internet-Draft, >> draft-templin-intarea-parcels-19, 10 January 2023, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-templin-intarea-parcels-19>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [PARCELS] >> > Templin, F. L., Ed., "IP Parcels and Advanced Jumbos", Work in >> Progress, Internet-Draft, draft-templin-intarea-parcels-51, 15 February >> 2023, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-templin-intarea-parcels-51>. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [PSCE] >> > European Comission, "PSCEurope Public Safety Communications Europe", < >> https://www.psc-europe.eu/>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [PSCE] >> > European Commission, "PSCEurope: Public Safety Communications Europe", < >> https://www.psc-europe.eu/>. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [SAINT] >> > Jeong, J., Jeong, H., Lee, E., Oh, T., and D. H. C. Du, "SAINT: >> Self-Adaptive Interactive Navigation Tool for Cloud-Based Vehicular Traffic >> Optimization", IEEE Transactions on Vehicular Technology, Volume 65, Issue >> 6, DOI 10.1109/TVT.2015.2476958, June 2016, < >> https://doi.org/10.1109/TVT.2015.2476958>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [SAINT] >> > Jeong, J., Jeong, H., Lee, E., Oh, T., and D. H. C. Du, "SAINT: >> Self-Adaptive Interactive Navigation Tool for Cloud-Based Vehicular Traffic >> Optimization", IEEE Transactions on Vehicular Technology, Volume 65, Issue >> 6, pp. 4053-4067, DOI 10.1109/TVT.2015.2476958, June 2016, < >> https://doi.org/10.1109/TVT.2015.2476958>. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [SAINTplus] >> > Shen, Y., Lee, J., Jeong, H., Jeong, J., Lee, E., and D. H. C. Du, >> "SAINT+: Self-Adaptive Interactive Navigation Tool+ for Emergency Service >> Delivery Optimization", IEEE Transactions on Intelligent Transportation >> Systems, Volume 19, Issue 4, DOI 10.1109/TITS.2017.2710881, June 2017, < >> https://doi.org/10.1109/TITS.2017.2710881>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [SAINTplus] >> > Shen, Y., Lee, J., Jeong, H., Jeong, J., Lee, E., and D. H. C. Du, >> "SAINT+: Self-Adaptive Interactive Navigation Tool+ for Emergency Service >> Delivery Optimization", IEEE Transactions on Intelligent Transportation >> Systems, Volume 19, Issue 4, pp. 1038-1053, DOI 10.1109/TITS.2017.2710881, >> April 2018, <https://doi.org/10.1109/TITS.2017.2710881>. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [Truck-Platooning] >> > California Partners for Advanced Transportation Technology (PATH), >> "Automated Truck Platooning", < >> https://path.berkeley.edu/research/connected-and-automated-vehicles/truck-platooning >> >. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [Truck-Platooning] >> > California Partners for Advanced Transportation Technology (PATH), >> "Truck Platooning", < >> https://path.berkeley.edu/research/connected-and-automated-vehicles/truck-platooning >> >. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [VEHICULAR-MM] >> > Jeong, J., Ed., Mugabarigira, B., Shen, Y., and H. Jung, "Vehicular >> Mobility Management for IP-Based Vehicular Networks", Work in Progress, >> Internet-Draft, draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-mobility-management-08, 25 >> July 2022, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-mobility-management-08 >> >. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [VEHICULAR-MM] >> > Jeong, J., Ed., Mugabarigira, B., Shen, Y., and H. Jung, "Vehicular >> Mobility Management for IP-Based Vehicular Networks", Work in Progress, >> Internet-Draft, draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-mobility-management-09, 4 >> February 2023, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-mobility-management-09 >> >. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [VEHICULAR-ND] >> > Jeong, J., Ed., Shen, Y., Kwon, J., and S. Cespedes, "Vehicular >> Neighbor Discovery for IP-Based Vehicular Networks", Work in Progress, >> Internet-Draft, draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-neighbor-discovery-14, 25 July >> 2022, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-neighbor-discovery-14 >> >. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [VEHICULAR-ND] >> > Jeong, J., Ed., Shen, Y., Kwon, J., and S. Cespedes, "Vehicular >> Neighbor Discovery for IP-Based Vehicular Networks", Work in Progress, >> Internet-Draft, draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-neighbor-discovery-15, 4 >> February 2023, < >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-jeong-ipwave-vehicular-neighbor-discovery-15 >> >. >> > --- >> > >> > - OLD: >> > [VIP-WAVE] >> > Cespedes, S., Lu, N., and X. Shen, "VIP-WAVE: On the Feasibility of IP >> Communications in 802.11p Vehicular Networks", IEEE Transactions on >> Intelligent Transportation Systems, Volume 14, Issue 1, DOI >> 10.1109/TITS.2012.2206387, March 2013, < >> https://doi.org/10.1109/TITS.2012.2206387>. >> > >> > - NEW: >> > [VIP-WAVE] >> > Cespedes, S., Lu, N., and X. Shen, "VIP-WAVE: On the Feasibility of IP >> Communications in 802.11p Vehicular Networks", IEEE Transactions on >> Intelligent Transportation Systems, Volume 14, Issue 1, pp. 82-97, DOI >> 10.1109/TITS.2012.2206387, March 2013, < >> https://doi.org/10.1109/TITS.2012.2206387>. >> > --- >> > >> > >> > Please review if any further changes are needed. We will wait to hear >> from you again before continuing the publication process. This page shows >> the AUTH48 status of your document: >> > https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9365 >> > >> > => [PAUL] I will proofread the current version tomorrow. >> > When I am done, I will let you know with possible corrections >> > by midnight on February 24 (Friday) in Korean Standard Time (UTC >> +9). >> > >> > Thanks. >> > >> > Best Regards, >> > Paul >> > >> > Thank you. >> > RFC Editor/ar >> > >> > > On Feb 22, 2023, at 10:51 AM, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> > > >> > > Hi Alice, >> > > Here are my updates with my revision letters >> > > so that you can reflect them on the xml file by yourself. >> > > >> > > I have used my old xml file to reflect my answers, so >> > > you can refer to the attached xml for only your reference. >> > > >> > > If you need my help, please let me know. >> > > >> > > Thanks. >> > > >> > > Best Regards, >> > > Paul >> > > >> > > On Tue, Feb 21, 2023 at 1:57 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> > > Hi Alice, >> > > I will modify the xml file according to your comments and questions >> this week (by February 24 in KST). >> > > >> > > I will also provide you with a revision letter to show how I have >> updated the text. >> > > >> > > Thanks. >> > > >> > > Best Regards, >> > > Paul >> > > >> > > On Sun, Feb 19, 2023 at 2:43 AM Alice Russo <arusso@amsl.com> wrote: >> > > Paul, >> > > Thank you for your mail. Yes; please know that you have the time >> needed for the review of the edited document and the questions. It's your >> choice whether you update the source file yourself or reply via mail (in >> which case, we will update the source file). We will check in with you at >> the one-week mark if we haven't heard from you. We'll be here for any >> questions or followups on the updates for the document. >> > > >> > > Thank you. >> > > RFC Editor/ar >> > > >> > > > On Feb 18, 2023, at 3:34 AM, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < >> jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> wrote: >> > > > >> > > > Hi RFC Editor, >> > > > I will review your comments and answer them. >> > > > Today and tomorrow are the weekend, so I am busy with my >> Christianity worship and fellowship. >> > > > Could you allow me to finish them by noon (12pm) next Tuesday >> (February 21) in Korean time? >> > > > >> > > > Thanks. >> > > > >> > > > Best Regards, >> > > > Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > On Sat, Feb 18, 2023 at 4:19 PM <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org> wrote: >> > > > Greetings, >> > > > >> > > > While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as >> necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file. >> > > > >> > > > 1) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that >> appear in the >> > > > title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 2) <!--[rfced] We note that "IPWAVE" has been expanded as "IP" >> > > > (rather than "IPv6") in the past - for example, in the name of >> > > > the IETF working group. Is it intentional to use "IPv6" in >> > > > this document without modifying the acronym? >> > > > >> > > > Title and Section 1 contain: >> > > > IPv6 Wireless Access in Vehicular Environments (IPWAVE) >> > > > >> > > > vs. RFC 8691 (and the IPWAVE WG page) contains: >> > > > IP Wireless Access in Vehicular Environments (IPWAVE) >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 3) <!-- [rfced] Would you like the terms in Section 2 to be >> alphabetized? >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 4) <!-- [rfced] We had difficulty parsing this sentence, >> specifically "at >> > > > edge". How should it be updated for clarity? Does "at edge" refer >> to >> > > > "at the edge of the network"? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > * Edge Computing Device (ECD): It is a computing device (or >> server) >> > > > at edge for vehicles and vulnerable road users. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 5) <!-- [rfced] If LiDAR is the method used by a "LiDAR sensor" or >> > > > "LiDAR device" (rather than the device itself), may this definition >> > > > be updated as follows, or otherwise? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > * LiDAR: "Light Detection and Ranging". It is a scanning >> device to >> > > > measure a distance to an object by emitting pulsed laser >> light and >> > > > measuring the reflected pulsed light. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > * Light Detection and Ranging (LiDAR): This is a method >> > > > for measuring a distance to an object by emitting pulsed >> > > > laser light and measuring the reflected pulsed light. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 6) <!-- [rfced] Should "dot11OCBActivited" be "dot11OCBActivated" >> > > > for correct spelling ("i" changed to "a")? >> > > > We note that "dot11OCBActivited" is in Section 2 of RFC 8691. >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > * 802.11-OCB: It refers to the mode specified in IEEE Std >> > > > 802.11-2016 [IEEE-802.11-OCB] when the MIB attribute >> > > > dot11OCBActivited is 'true'. >> > > > >> > > > Suggested: >> > > > * 802.11-OCB: This refers to the mode specified in IEEE Std >> > > > 802.11-2016 [IEEE-802.11-OCB] when the MIB attribute >> > > > dot11OCBActivated is 'true'. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 7) <!-- [rfced] FYI, so that it wouldn't appear that "safe driving" >> describes >> > > > "avoidance", we updated "safe driving and collision avoidance" to >> > > > "driving safely and avoiding collisions". Please let us know if this >> > > > isn't agreeable. >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > * Context-aware navigation for safe driving and collision >> avoidance >> > > > >> > > > Current: >> > > > * Context-aware navigation for driving safely and avoiding >> collisions >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 8) <!-- [rfced] FYI, for clarity concerning "UAM end systems in >> air", we >> > > > rephrased this sentence. Please review. >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > A collision avoidance service of UAM end systems in air can be >> > > > envisioned as a use case in air vehicular environments >> > > > [I-D.templin-ipwave-uam-its]. >> > > > >> > > > Current: >> > > > A service for collision avoidance of in-air UAM end systems is >> one >> > > > possible use case in air vehicular environments [UAM-ITS]. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 9) <!-- [rfced] Can only trucks or any type of vehicle use V2V >> communication >> > > > in this case? If the latter, we suggest replacing "Trucks" with >> "Vehicles". >> > > > (The preceding sentence is included for context.) >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > Platooning [Truck-Platooning] allows a series (or group) of >> vehicles >> > > > (e.g., trucks) to follow each other very closely. Trucks can >> use V2V >> > > > communication in addition to forward sensors in order to maintain >> > > > constant clearance between two consecutive vehicles at very short >> > > > gaps (from 3 meters to 10 meters). >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > Platooning [Truck-Platooning] allows a series (or group) of >> vehicles >> > > > (e.g., trucks) to follow each other very closely. Vehicles can >> use V2V >> > > > communication in addition to forward sensors in order to maintain >> > > > constant clearance between two consecutive vehicles at very short >> > > > gaps (from 3 to 10 meters). >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 10) <!-- [rfced] Please clarify "accident vehicles"; does it refer >> to >> > > > vehicles in a collision, rather than vehicles responding to a >> collision? >> > > > >> > > > Also, since "IP-RSU" is not a type of network, we suggest >> rephrasing >> > > > the final list. Should it be via "an IP-RSU" or "IP-RSUs" (plural)? >> > > > >> > > > How may we update this sentence for clarity? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > The emergency communication between accident vehicles (or >> emergency >> > > > vehicles) and a TCC can be performed via either IP-RSU, 4G-LTE >> or 5G >> > > > networks. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > The emergency communication between vehicles in an accident (or >> > > > emergency-response vehicles) and a TCC can be performed via >> either >> > > > an IP-RSU or 4G-LTE or 5G networks. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 11) <!-- [rfced] How may this sentence be updated to make the list >> > > > items parallel? Also, what does "a used approach" refer to? >> > > > For the reader, is there some context to provide for citing >> > > > HIP certificates [RFC8002]? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > These extra means can be certificate-based, >> > > > biometric, credit-based, and one-time passcode (OTP) approaches >> in >> > > > addition to a used approach [RFC8002]. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > These extra means could include approaches based on certificates, >> > > > biometrics, credit, or One-Time Passwords (OTPs) >> > > > in addition to Host Identity Protocol certificates [RFC8002]. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 12) <!--[rfced] Please clarify this sentence, in particular the >> phrase >> > > > "classify to different severity levels for driving safety". Does it >> > > > mean the messages are classified into severity levels based >> > > > on their potential significance to driving safety, or otherwise? >> > > > Also, does "credit for the sender" refer to the "credit of the >> sender"? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > First, a credit- >> > > > based means is to let a vehicle classify the received messages >> sent >> > > > by another host to different severity levels for driving safety >> in >> > > > order to calculate the credit for the sender. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > First, a credit- >> > > > based method is when a vehicle classifies the messages it >> received >> > > > from another host into various levels based on their potential >> > > > effects on driving safety in order to calculate the credit of >> that sender. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 13) <!-- [rfced] This sentence is quite complex, making it >> difficult to parse. >> > > > May we replace "which" with "This improvement" to split this into >> two >> > > > sentences? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > For the reliability required in V2V networking, the ND >> optimization >> > > > defined in MANET [RFC6130] [RFC7466] improves the classical IPv6 >> ND >> > > > in terms of tracking neighbor information with up to two hops and >> > > > introducing several extensible Information Bases, which serves >> the >> > > > MANET routing protocols such as the different versions of >> Optimized >> > > > Link State Routing Protocol (OLSR) [RFC3626] [RFC7181], Open >> Shortest >> > > > Path First (OSPF) derivatives (e.g., [RFC5614]), and Dynamic Link >> > > > Exchange Protocol (DLEP) [RFC8175] with its extensions [RFC8629] >> > > > [RFC8757]. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > For the reliability required in V2V networking, the ND >> optimization >> > > > defined in the Mobile Ad Hoc Network (MANET) [RFC6130] [RFC7466] >> > > > improves the classical IPv6 ND in terms of tracking neighbor >> > > > information with up to two hops and introducing several >> extensible >> > > > Information Bases. This improvement serves the MANET routing >> > > > protocols, such as the different versions of Optimized Link >> State >> > > > Routing Protocol (OLSR) [RFC3626] [RFC7181], Open Shortest Path >> > > > First (OSPF) derivatives (e.g., [RFC5614]), and Dynamic Link >> > > > Exchange Protocol (DLEP) [RFC8175] with its extensions [RFC8629] >> > > > [RFC8757]. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 14) <!--[rfced] Please clarify this sentence, in particular "leads >> the half >> > > > of the link lifetime". >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > This relative speed leads the half of the link lifetime between >> the >> > > > vehicle and the IP-RSU. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 15) <!--[rfced] Please review how "not-onlink" has been rephrased >> > > > and let us know any updates. That term has been avoided because it >> > > > has not appeared in other RFCs and is not consistent with the >> hyphen >> > > > in the term "on-link". Please note that RFC 8691 uses the phrase >> > > > "advertised as not on-link". For example: >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > a destination vehicle [..] needs to be distinguished as either >> > > > an on-link host or a not-onlink host >> > > > >> > > > Current: >> > > > a destination vehicle [..] needs to be distinguished as either >> > > > as a host that is either on-link or not on-link >> > > > >> > > > In Section 5.1.1, three instances were updated as follows (please >> > > > see the diff file for context). >> > > > - a prefix that is not on-link >> > > > - the prefix should be not on-link. >> > > > - prefixes that are not on-link >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 16) <!--[rfced] Please clarify this sentence, in particular "can >> maintain its >> > > > neighboring vehicles in a stable way". >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > For example, the NA interval needs to be >> > > > dynamically adjusted according to a vehicle's speed so that the >> > > > vehicle can maintain its neighboring vehicles in a stable way, >> ... >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > For example, the NA interval needs to be >> > > > dynamically adjusted according to a vehicle's speed so that the >> > > > vehicle can maintain its position relative to its neighboring >> > > > vehicles in a stable way, ... >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 17) <!-- [rfced] How may this text be rephrased to clarify it? The >> > > > original reads as though the RFC "installs the ND cache entries". >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > [RFC8505], as >> > > > opposed to [RFC4861], is stateful and proactively installs the ND >> > > > cache entries, which saves broadcasts and provides deterministic >> > > > presence information for IPv6 addresses. Mainly it updates the >> > > > Address Registration Option (ARO) of ND defined in [RFC6775] to >> > > > include a status field that can indicate the movement of a node >> and >> > > > optionally a Transaction ID (TID) field, i.e., a sequence number >> that >> > > > can be used to determine the most recent location of a node. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > (Option A) >> > > > [RFC8505], as >> > > > opposed to [RFC4861], states how to proactively install the ND >> > > > cache entries. This saves broadcasts and provides deterministic >> > > > presence information for IPv6 addresses. The installation then >> > > > updates the Address Registration Option (ARO) of ND defined in >> > > > [RFC6775] to include a status field that can indicate the >> movement >> > > > of a node and optionally a Transaction ID (TID) field, i.e., a >> > > > sequence number that can be used to determine the most recent >> > > > location of a node. >> > > > >> > > > (Option B) >> > > > The extension described in [RFC8505] is stateful >> > > > and proactively installs the ND cache entries; this saves >> broadcasts >> > > > and provides deterministic presence information for IPv6 >> addresses. >> > > > Mainly, it updates the Address Registration Option (ARO) of ND >> > > > defined in [RFC6775] to include a status field (which can >> indicate >> > > > the movement of a node) and optionally a Transaction ID (TID) >> field >> > > > (which is a sequence number that can be used to determine the >> most >> > > > recent location of a node). >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 18) <!-- [rfced] Please clarify "the SLAAC with [RFC8505]". Does it >> > > > mean "SLAAC with the registration extension specified in >> > > > [RFC8505]" or otherwise? >> > > > >> > > > Also, will the phrase "costs a DAD" be clear to the reader? >> > > > Does it mean "costs DAD overhead" or otherwise? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > Even though the SLAAC with classic ND costs a DAD during mobility >> > > > management, the SLAAC with [RFC8505] and/or AERO/OMNI do not >> cost a >> > > > DAD. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > Even though SLAAC with classic ND costs DAD overhead during >> > > > mobility management, SLAAC with the registration extension >> > > > specified in [RFC8505] and/or with AERO/OMNI does not cost DAD >> overhead. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 19) <!--[rfced] Please clarify "among them"; does it mean mutual >> > > > authentication of the vehicles? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > In addition, >> > > > to prevent bogus IP-RSUs and MA from interfering with the IPv6 >> > > > mobility of vehicles, mutual authentication among them needs to >> be >> > > > performed by certificates (e.g., TLS certificate). >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > In addition, >> > > > to prevent bogus IP-RSUs and MA from interfering with the IPv6 >> > > > mobility of vehicles, mutual authentication of the vehicles >> needs >> > > > to be performed by certificates (e.g., TLS certificate). >> > > > >> > > > Or simply cut "among them": >> > > > In addition, >> > > > to prevent bogus IP-RSUs and MA from interfering with the IPv6 >> > > > mobility of vehicles, mutual authentication needs to be >> > > > performed by certificates (e.g., TLS certificate). >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 20) <!-- [rfced] Would you like the references to be alphabetized >> > > > or left in their current order? (This would be done by setting >> > > > the rfc element's sortRefs attribute to true.) >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 21) <!-- [rfced] The title in this reference does not match the >> title of the >> > > > document available from the provided URL. So would you like to keep >> > > > the URL and update the title? Or, perhaps a different URL was >> intended? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > [FCC-ITS-Modification] >> > > > Federal Communications Commission, "Use of the >> 5.850-5.925 >> > > > GHz Band, First Report and Order, Further Notice of >> > > > Proposed Rulemaking, and Order of Proposed >> Modification, >> > > > FCC 19-138", Available: >> https://www.fcc.gov/document/fcc- >> > > > modernizes-59-ghz-band-improve-wi-fi-and-automotive- >> > > > safety-0, November 2020. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps: >> > > > [FCC-ITS-Modification] >> > > > Federal Communications Commission, "FCC Modernizes >> 5.9 GHz >> > > > Band to Improve Wi-Fi and Automotive Safety", >> November 2020, >> > > > <https://www.fcc.gov/document/fcc-modernizes-59- >> > > > ghz-band-improve-wi-fi-and-automotive-safety-0>. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 22) <!-- [rfced] Are there exactly two modes for routing in RPL? >> > > > If so, may we update the sentence as follows? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > There are two modes for routing in RPL >> > > > such as non-storing mode and storing mode. >> > > > >> > > > Perhaps (remove "such as"): >> > > > There are two modes for routing in RPL: >> > > > non-storing mode and storing mode. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 23) <!-- [rfced] Some author comments are present in the XML. >> Please confirm >> > > > that no updates related to these comments are outstanding. Note >> that the >> > > > comments will be deleted prior to publication. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 24) <!-- [rfced] Terminology and Capitalization >> > > > >> > > > a) Will it be clear to readers what the following terms are? If not, >> > > > please let us know if definitions should be added to Section 2. >> > > > >> > > > gNodeB >> > > > eNodeB >> > > > >> > > > We note that RFC 9269 contains: >> > > > eNodeB: The eNodeB is a base station entity that supports the >> Long >> > > > Term Evolution (LTE) air interface. >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > b) In this definition, "Vehicle" is capitalized but throughout the >> > > > document it isn't. Would you like to make this instance lowercase >> or, >> > > > would you like any other instances of "vehicle" to be capitalized? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > * Vehicle: A Vehicle in this document is a node that has an >> IP-OBU >> > > > for wireless communication with other vehicles and IP-RSUs. >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > c) In this definition, "Vehicular Cloud” is capitalized but >> throughout the >> > > > document it is sometimes capitalized and sometimes not. How may we >> update >> > > > for consistency? >> > > > >> > > > Original: >> > > > * Vehicular Cloud: A cloud infrastructure for vehicular >> networks, >> > > > having compute nodes, storage nodes, and network forwarding >> > > > elements (e.g., switch and router). >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > 25) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of >> the online >> > > > Style Guide < >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> >> > > > and let us know if any changes are needed. >> > > > >> > > > Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this >> should >> > > > still be reviewed as a best practice. >> > > > >> > > > In addition, please consider whether "traditional helicopter" >> should be >> > > > updated for clarity. While the NIST website >> > > > < >> https://www.nist.gov/nist-research-library/nist-technical-series-publications-author-instructions#table1 >> > >> > > > indicates that this term is potentially biased, it is also >> ambiguous. >> > > > "Tradition" is a subjective term, as it is not the same for >> everyone. >> > > > --> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > Thank you. >> > > > >> > > > RFC Editor/st/ar >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > On Feb 17, 2023, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org wrote: >> > > > >> > > > *****IMPORTANT***** >> > > > >> > > > Updated 2023/02/17 >> > > > >> > > > RFC Author(s): >> > > > -------------- >> > > > >> > > > Instructions for Completing AUTH48 >> > > > >> > > > Your document has now entered AUTH48. Once it has been reviewed >> and >> > > > approved by you and all coauthors, it will be published as an RFC. >> > > > If an author is no longer available, there are several remedies >> > > > available as listed in the FAQ (https://www.rfc-editor.org/faq/). >> > > > >> > > > You and you coauthors are responsible for engaging other parties >> > > > (e.g., Contributors or Working Group) as necessary before providing >> > > > your approval. >> > > > >> > > > Planning your review >> > > > --------------------- >> > > > >> > > > Please review the following aspects of your document: >> > > > >> > > > * RFC Editor questions >> > > > >> > > > Please review and resolve any questions raised by the RFC Editor >> > > > that have been included in the XML file as comments marked as >> > > > follows: >> > > > >> > > > <!-- [rfced] ... --> >> > > > >> > > > These questions will also be sent in a subsequent email. >> > > > >> > > > * Changes submitted by coauthors >> > > > >> > > > Please ensure that you review any changes submitted by your >> > > > coauthors. We assume that if you do not speak up that you >> > > > agree to changes submitted by your coauthors. >> > > > >> > > > * Content >> > > > >> > > > Please review the full content of the document, as this cannot >> > > > change once the RFC is published. Please pay particular >> attention to: >> > > > - IANA considerations updates (if applicable) >> > > > - contact information >> > > > - references >> > > > >> > > > * Copyright notices and legends >> > > > >> > > > Please review the copyright notice and legends as defined in >> > > > RFC 5378 and the Trust Legal Provisions >> > > > (TLP – https://trustee.ietf.org/license-info/). >> > > > >> > > > * Semantic markup >> > > > >> > > > Please review the markup in the XML file to ensure that elements >> of >> > > > content are correctly tagged. For example, ensure that >> <sourcecode> >> > > > and <artwork> are set correctly. See details at >> > > > <https://authors.ietf.org/rfcxml-vocabulary>. >> > > > >> > > > * Formatted output >> > > > >> > > > Please review the PDF, HTML, and TXT files to ensure that the >> > > > formatted output, as generated from the markup in the XML file, >> is >> > > > reasonable. Please note that the TXT will have formatting >> > > > limitations compared to the PDF and HTML. >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > Submitting changes >> > > > ------------------ >> > > > >> > > > To submit changes, please reply to this email using ‘REPLY ALL’ as >> all >> > > > the parties CCed on this message need to see your changes. The >> parties >> > > > include: >> > > > >> > > > * your coauthors >> > > > >> > > > * rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org (the RPC team) >> > > > >> > > > * other document participants, depending on the stream (e.g., >> > > > IETF Stream participants are your working group chairs, the >> > > > responsible ADs, and the document shepherd). >> > > > >> > > > * auth48archive@rfc-editor.org, which is a new archival mailing >> list >> > > > to preserve AUTH48 conversations; it is not an active >> discussion >> > > > list: >> > > > >> > > > * More info: >> > > > >> https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ietf-announce/yb6lpIGh-4Q9l2USxIAe6P8O4Zc >> > > > >> > > > * The archive itself: >> > > > https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/auth48archive/ >> > > > >> > > > * Note: If only absolutely necessary, you may temporarily opt >> out >> > > > of the archiving of messages (e.g., to discuss a sensitive >> matter). >> > > > If needed, please add a note at the top of the message that >> you >> > > > have dropped the address. When the discussion is concluded, >> > > > auth48archive@rfc-editor.org will be re-added to the CC >> list and >> > > > its addition will be noted at the top of the message. >> > > > >> > > > You may submit your changes in one of two ways: >> > > > >> > > > An update to the provided XML file >> > > > — OR — >> > > > An explicit list of changes in this format >> > > > >> > > > Section # (or indicate Global) >> > > > >> > > > OLD: >> > > > old text >> > > > >> > > > NEW: >> > > > new text >> > > > >> > > > You do not need to reply with both an updated XML file and an >> explicit >> > > > list of changes, as either form is sufficient. >> > > > >> > > > We will ask a stream manager to review and approve any changes that >> seem >> > > > beyond editorial in nature, e.g., addition of new text, deletion of >> text, >> > > > and technical changes. Information about stream managers can be >> found in >> > > > the FAQ. Editorial changes do not require approval from a stream >> manager. >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > Approving for publication >> > > > -------------------------- >> > > > >> > > > To approve your RFC for publication, please reply to this email >> stating >> > > > that you approve this RFC for publication. Please use ‘REPLY ALL’, >> > > > as all the parties CCed on this message need to see your approval. >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > Files >> > > > ----- >> > > > >> > > > The files are available here: >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.xml >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.html >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.pdf >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.txt >> > > > >> > > > Diff file of the text: >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-diff.html >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-rfcdiff.html (side by >> side) >> > > > >> > > > Diff of the XML: >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365-xmldiff1.html >> > > > >> > > > The following files are provided to facilitate creation of your own >> > > > diff files of the XML. >> > > > >> > > > Initial XMLv3 created using XMLv2 as input: >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.original.v2v3.xml >> > > > >> > > > XMLv3 file that is a best effort to capture v3-related format >> updates >> > > > only: >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9365.form.xml >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > Tracking progress >> > > > ----------------- >> > > > >> > > > The details of the AUTH48 status of your document are here: >> > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9365 >> > > > >> > > > Please let us know if you have any questions. >> > > > >> > > > Thank you for your cooperation, >> > > > >> > > > RFC Editor >> > > > >> > > > -------------------------------------- >> > > > RFC9365 (draft-ietf-ipwave-vehicular-networking-30) >> > > > >> > > > Title : IPv6 Wireless Access in Vehicular Environments >> (IPWAVE): Problem Statement and Use Cases >> > > > Author(s) : J. Jeong, Ed. >> > > > WG Chair(s) : Carlos J. Bernardos, Russ Housley >> > > > Area Director(s) : Erik Kline, Éric Vyncke >> > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > > >> <Revision-Letter-for-AUTH48-for-IPWAVE-PS-Draft-2023-02-18.docx><Revision-Letter-for-AUTH48-for-IPWAVE-PS-Draft-2023-02-18.pdf><draft-ietf-ipwave-vehicular-networking-30-rfc9365.xml> >> > >> > -- >> > =========================== >> > Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D. >> > Associate Professor >> > Department of Computer Science and Engineering >> > Sungkyunkwan University >> > Office: +82-31-299-4957 >> > Email: pauljeong@skku.edu, jaehoon.paul@gmail.com >> > Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php >> >> >>
- [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-ipwav… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- [auth48] [AD] - Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Erik Kline
- Re: [auth48] [AD] - Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <d… Erik Kline
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Alice Russo
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9365 <draft-ietf-i… Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong