Re: [gaia] Fixes to "Alternative Network Deployments" Internet Draft

[Arjuna Sathiaseelan <[e-mail]>]

Thanks Ioannis - I would also encourage others to read this draft and
give feedback..

http://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-manyfolks-gaia-community-networks-01

Regards

On 5 November 2014 16:12, Ioannis Komnios <[e-mail]> wrote:
> All,
>
> I have reviewed the “Alternative Network Deployments” Internet Draft and I
> have found several things that could be fixed, in order to make the text
> more concise and readable.
>
> Issues to be considered
> p.4 We should introduce the acronym AN for Alternative Networks, since we
> use it in the document.
> p.5 The Free Network description does not read well here, since it MAY be
> the same as a Community Network. I suggest to create a separate sub-section,
> where we define a Free Network.
> p.5 “The principles of these networks” and p. 6 “These networks grow…”.  It
> is not clear if we refer to community networks or free networks. We should
> make it clear.
> p.6 “These networks are also called sometimes “Free networks” or even
> “Network Commons.” This is a confusing repetition and should be omitted.
> p.7 “The network capacity shared…” This is a repetition, since it is already
> mentioned in the previous paragraph.
> p.6-7 The way crowdshared approaches and user-centric approaches are defined
> right now is a little confusing, since they look really similar. We can add
> some examples of each case to highlight the differences.
> p.7 FON missing reference: https://corp.fon.com/en
> p.8 The bullets that describe the actors in user-centric networks start
> abruptly. We should first add a sentence like “The actors involved in a
> user-centric network are summarised below:”
> p.8 We should define ISP and ASP acronyms when we first use them.
> p.8 We should rename Section 2.4 Testbeds to Testbeds for research purposes
> to make it more clear.
> p.8 Section 3.1 mostly describes developing countries and digital divide,
> not network deployment scenarios. For this reason, we could rename this
> section “Digital Divide”. We can also add a reference to the Digital Agenda
> Europe (http://ec.europa.eu/digital-agenda/)
> p.11 We should add a reference to dwellers that share the cost of the
> infrastructure ant the gateway and access it via inexpensive wireless
> devices.
> p.11 We refer to scarce technical skills as a problem to rural areas. The
> same problem exists in developing countries, as well.
> p.11 There is no need for a subsection 4.1.1. since it is the only one. We
> should re-write this paragraph more formally and move the reference to the
> end of the document.
> p.11 Add one more introductory sentence to Section 4.2. “Below we summarise
> topics to be considered in such deployments.”
> p.11 We first refer to Fresnel zone in p.11, but we describe it in p.12.
> This explanation should be moved here.
> p.13 Section 4.2.2. Link Length could be further split into three
> subsections: Line-of-Sight, Transmitted and Received Power and Medium Access
> Protocol.
> p.17 Section 4.2.3.2. GMS should be re-written like “GSM has also been used
> in Alternative Networks as layer 2 option.” and reference should be moved to
> the end of the document.
> p.19 When we refer to LEDBAT we can add the following two publications that
> summarise some important LEDBAT issues:
> -D.Ros and M. Welzl, “Assessing LEDBAT’s delay impact”, Communication
> Letters, IEEE, vol. 17, no. 5, pp. 1044-1047, May 2013.
> -I. Komnios, A. Sathiaseelan and J. Crowcroft, “LEDBAT performance in
> subpacket regimes”, IEEE/IFIP WONS, Austria, April 2014.
> p.19 Rename Section 5.2.1. "Services provided by these networks” to
> “Services provided by alternative networks”
> p.20 We should add an introduction to Section 5.2.1.1. such as “Intranet
> services can include, but are not limited to:”. And also make the first
> letter of each bullet capital.
>
> Typos and others
> p.1 and p.4: “as well as providing Internet” -> “as well as Internet”
> p.2 “network models as e.g., community networks” -> “network models such as
> community networks”
> p.4 “In line with this objective this” -> “In line with this objective,
> this”
> p.4 “Each of them have” -> “Each of them has”
> p.4 “as well as technological” -> “as well as the technological”
> p.5 “a obvious” -> “an obvious"
> p.5 “Freedom 0 - Freedom” -> “Freedom 0 - The freedom”
> p.5 “most reusable forms.” ” -> “most reusable forms. ”
> p.5 “as long as you don’t harm” -> “as long as you do not harm”
> p. 6 “to be normally used” -> “is normally used”
> p.6 “as e.g. Less-than-best-effort” -> “as Less-than-best-effort”
> p.7 “an people can” -> “and people can”
> p.8 “ “Interest” “ -> “ Interest “
> p.8 “The Virtual Operator: entity that” -> “The Virtual Operator (VO): An
> entity that”
> p.8 “This section discusses the scenarios where alternative networks are
> interesting or have been deployed.” -> “This section discusses scenarios,
> where alternative networks have been deployed."
> p.9 “worried of being left behind” -> “in order not to be left behind”
> p.9 “peoples” -> “people”
> p.10 “Although it is undeniable the contribution… access gap,” -> “Although
> the contribution… access gap is undeniable,”
> p.10 “they do not deemed them profitable” -> “they do not deem them
> profitable”
> p.11 “stability and to that of the services” -> “stability and the services”
> p.11 “off-the-self” -> “off-the-shelf”
> p.12 “omnis” -> “omnidirectional antennas”
> p.12 “So a moderate gain” -> “A moderate gain”
> p.13 “Of course, in the case of” -> “In the case of”
> p.13 “Keep also in mind that the same type” -> “The same type”
> p.13 “some vendor use” -> “some vendors use”
> p.13 “So, for optimum” -> “For optimum”
> p.13 “Bear in mind that the sensitivity” -> “The sensitivity”
> p.14 “over water, if they cannot” -> “over water. If they cannot”
> p.14 “So to achieve” -> “In order to achieve”
> p.14 “a) increase the output power.The maximum” -> “a) Increase the output
> power. The maximum”
> p.14 “the EIRP (Equivalent Isotropically Irradiated Power)” -> “Equivalent
> Isotropically Radiated Power (EIRP)”
> p.14 “So one can increase” -> “One can increase"
> p.14 “can be reduced say from” -> “can be reduced from”
> p.14 “is related with the medium” -> “is related to the medium”
> p.14 “This will reduce significantly the” -> “This will significantly reduce
> the”
> p.16 “This is means” -> “This means”
> p.16 “they are said to be associated” -> “they are associated”
> p.16 “and will only communicate” -> “and only communicate”
> p.17 “Remember that managed mode” -> “Managed mode”
> p.17 “so it is likely that you will want to run a high repeater site” -> “so
> a high repeater site is required”
> p.17 “but most almost” -> “but almost”
> p.18 “These networks are composed of” -> “Alternative Networks are typically
> composed of”
> p.18 “not guaranteed, the link stability” -> “not guaranteed and the link
> stability”
> p.18 “E.g., they use” -> “For example, they use”
> p.18 “From crowd shared perspective and considering just regular” -> “From
> crowdshared perspective and considering only regular”
> p.18 “that implement a” -> “that implements a”
> p.18 “and protect the sharer” -> “and protects the sharer.”
> p.18 “requieres” -> “requires”
> p.19 “And so, recently” -> “Recently”
> p.19 “LETBAT" -> “LEDBAT"
> p.19 “This application have shown” -> “These applications have shown”
> p.19 “So, there are some” -> “There are some”
> p.19 “explaining” -> “explanation”
> p.21 “These networks follow” -> “Alternative networks follow”
> p.21 “that manage the best” -> “that manages the best"
>
> Ioannis
>
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-- 
Arjuna Sathiaseelan | http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~as2330/