Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-roll-applicability-home-building-08

[peter van der Stok <[e-mail]>]

HI Meral,

Thanks for the suggestions.
I have no problem with any of them. I think they are quite justified. 
Thank you very much for pointing them out.
Concerning scene and group control. I may suppress the word "scene".
About [occuswitch] I have to look for a valid alternative. However, 
these links are maintained by a company, which changes information 
frequently.
Sorry for missing out some of the acronyms. I thought I caught them out 
all.

Greetings,

Peter


Meral Shirazipour schreef op 2015-03-22 21:28:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-roll-applicability-home-building-08
> Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
> Review Date: 2015-03-21
> IETF LC End Date:  2015-03-23
> IESG Telechat date: NA
> 
> 
> Summary:
> This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have
> some comments.
> 
> Major issues:
> 
> Minor issues:
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> -[Page 1], "RPL" first used in title/abstract, Would be good to spell 
> it out.
> -[Page 5], Section 2, "Monitoring of functional correctness is at
> least as important.". As important as what? (not clear)
> -[Page 5], Section 2, "Devices typically communicate their status
> regularly and send alarm messages notifying a malfunction of equipment
> or network."
> Not clear what equipment is? network node is an equipment?
> -[Page 6], Section 2.1, "for large installation"--->"for a large 
> installation"
> -[Page 8], Section 2.2.2, "fire detectors and the smoke dampers need
> to be put in place to meet the stringent delay requirements."
> Where can we find a value for the delay requirement of fire detectors?
> A value or reference would be good.
> -[Page 9], Section 2.2.4,"advanced scene and group control". Not clear
> what "scene" means.
> -[Page 13], Section 4.1, "assumes the role as
> authoritative"--->"assumes the role of authoritative"
> -[Page 16], section 4.1.8, please spell out first use CBC-MAC (Cipher
> Block Chaining Message Authentication Code)
> -[Page 16], section 4.1.10, it would be good to give the RFCs.
> -[Page 16], section 4.2.4, MLE to spell out at first use "mesh link
> establishment"
> -[Page 22], "CoAp" first used in section 7.4, but spelled out in 
> section 8.
> -[Page 18], section 5.1.1., "to throw away too late messages", how are
> too late messages identified?
> -[Page 27], [I-D.ietf-6lo-lowpanz] to be replaced by RFC7428
> -[Page 28], link to [occuswitch] to be verified.
> -Through the document both "ms" and "msec" are used. Selecting one for
> consistency would be better.
> 
> Best Regards,
> Meral
> ---
> Meral Shirazipour
> Ericsson
> Research
> www.ericsson.com