Re: [Gen-art] Gen-Art review of draft-ietf-geopriv-held-identity-extensions-05

["Vijay K. Gurbani" <[e-mail]>]

On 10/28/2010 09:45 PM, Vijay K. Gurbani wrote:
> On 10/28/2010 09:36 PM, Thomson, Martin wrote:
>> The list of "identifiers" in RFC 5687 is longer than this allows for.
>> This offers an explanation for the shortfall. The separation of
>> identity and measurement concepts came a little later.
>
> Martin: I noticed that as well ... it is just that for someone
> reading S2, the juxtaposition of measurement information with
> identifiers does not quite make sense. Maybe you can provide
> some insight by a short sentence or so. Or maybe I will re-look
> at the offending section tomorrow when I am not as sleep deprived
> and see if some clarifying text makes itself apparent.

Martin: I finally got some time to look into S2.  Here is
my suggested changes to make S2 read better.

OLD:


    Identifiers are used as the starting point in location determination.
    They should not be confused with measurement information
    ([I-D.thomson-geopriv-held-measurements]).  Measurement information
    is information about a Device and the time varying details of its
    network attachment.  Identifiers might be associated with a different
    Device over time, but their purpose is to identify the Device, not to
    describe its environment or network attachment.

NEW:

    Identifiers are used as the starting point in location determination.
    Identifiers might be associated with a different Device over time,
    but their purpose is to identify the Device, not to describe its
    environment or network attachment.

Unless you have a strong reason to juxtapose measurement information in
this paragraph, you are better off leaving it out completely.  This is,
of course, my two cents as a generalist reviewer; however, I did read
portions of I-D.thomson-geopriv-held-measurements and at least I could
not see the need to refer to measurement in the above paragraph.  Your
mileage may vary, of course, so please use my input in the most
relevant manner that you can (including feeling free to discard it.)

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60566 (USA)
Email: vkg@{alcatel-lucent.com,bell-labs.com,acm.org}
Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/